MandMaud
I know atheists that do all of those things.
Maybe a better example would have been overhearing friends say to each other, "See you at church!" which is a bit of a giveaway.
I read Freyja's point as being that if we overhear something like that, even if we personally detest and despise and are extremely uncomfortable with Christianity (or any other belief) and resent believers mentioning it openly as if they weren't aware anyone may feel bad when they do - we still don't object out loud. Whereas when some people overhear friends saying to each other, "See you at the tarot session!" they don't feel inhibited to make it clear that (a) they're uncomfortable hearing this, (b) those people are "wrong" to be into tarot, (c) any other impressions they have such as tarot being dangerous etc.
Obviously that is a hypothetical scenario but I hope it illustrates the point.
Personally, and I don't think I'm unusual in this, if I know a topic will trigger aggressive reactions - as distinct from boredom - I avoid bringing it up for that reason. It isn't always fear, often it's simply a choice to spend my energy in more pleasant ways. And a confrontation leaves a bad taste; I don't eat foods that I dislike, and that isn't fear either. But it is courtesy that prevents me from attacking people who mention things I strongly disapprove of and would never practise in my own life. If they seek my opinion I'll give it, though trying to find a kind and fair way of wording it; if they don't, unless I'm their parent, I won't.
There is a very big difference between glazing over when a subject comes up, and criticising without hearing the person's reasons for their views. We all have the right to avoid criticism where it can be predicted.
And I feel everyone should have the right to bounce into the room and say, "I've had a great day! I picked up one of the decks I've longed for, at a quarter of the price I expected!" Friends may not be interested in the deck but they can be glad for the joy. Same if my friend is delighted about finding a first edition of their favourite author, whose books I can't stand. Or in my case, I'm into linguistics, and have been known to go into raptures at finding an English-Korean dictionary and Teach Yourself Norwegian on the same day for about £2 each; absolutely no one cared about the books (which gave me happy bedtime reading for days n days), but people were nice enough to smile when I excitedly announced the finds. I didn't carry on about it as much as I would with a fellow linguist who'd have shared the excitement, because I understand glazed-over eyes, but I also didn't feel I would offend anyone by sharing the fact I'd had a bit of luck that related to an interest of my own.
And I would be completely astonished if anyone responded by telling me I was *morally wrong* to be interested in Korean or Norwegian.
Isn't that the real point?
Give her a break, Nisaba.
First, I am so sorry you have a concern of being judged. When I was younger I worried myself rampant what people thought of me. Now, I go through that sometimes, and of course with this, but generally I don't care anymore.
Ditto and ditto, me too and me too - I'm voicing this specific issue quite a lot here on AT, because as far as I know it's my ONLY remaining inhibition about what people think of me. I used to worry about it in all contexts, but life (and common sense, slow as that was to kick in) beat that out of me.
Regarding my husband, he is amazing! I am very lucky. We tell each other everything. I have been listening to his software developing problems for years and about Xbox games and he gets to listen to me talk about Tarot and photography (which he likes too so that doesn't count). Even though deep down he could care less about Tarot itself, the fact that I am interested in makes him interested in it and I love him for that. He has been curious about the symbolism in the images and thinks it's pretty cool. He does kind of thinks it's silly, but that's ok.
That's perfect. And that's friendship, by my definition.
My son's a composer and I have the bare bones of music theory, so I'm the only one in the family who has a clue what a dominant seventh is, but it's a relief to him to be able to mention terms like that even though I can rarely follow the technicalities. I do my best to understand, but I can show an interest by asking "And then what difference will that change make?" and suchlike. And THAT is courtesy on my part. (Meanwhile I refrain from talking about gerundives and ablative absolutes and semantic shift, and he does his best to sound interested when I say that 'squirrel' and 'arse' are distantly related. )