Reading ABOUT others.

Flidais, my apologies if I've offended. My "good" wasn't meant to be a measure of the reader, but rather of the accuracy of the reading.

I did not say that a reader would, or should, specifically try to find out the feelings or thoughts of others - actually, I try to avoid finding out what the querent is feeling, too - but I think that when one does a reading, one gets the information one needs to, wherever that may be from.

If I try to answer a question, I want the information I need to have to answer the question. What the querent thinks/knows about a situation may not be enough to give a true answer, so I prefer to let the cards get the information they need to do the job. My best guess is that information comes from a lot of sources besides the querent, and that probably includes one or more other people. I frankly don't care who it comes from, as long as the answer works for the querent.

On the other hand, I get really, really picky about the questions I'm willing to try to answer and how they're phrased.

Thanks for sharing this, Red Emma--and I'm glad you were able to help your friend.

Personally I agree with WolfyJames and some of the others--I read about others all the time without telling them, and it's only because I feel it concerns me in some way (ie. my mother's future health situation). I never do it to snoop or invade anyone's privacy, and I don't see how it's any different from any other reading we do. When we are reading for ourselves, we are still getting information about the situation around us and the people who are having an influence. I think as long as we feel it is important for us to know, and we are not doing it to manipulate anyone, there is nothing wrong with it.

Thanks for the story Red Emma. My heart goes out to your friend.

I dont believe that reading for others is wrong so long as it is done with good intentions. We have others in our lives we have relationships and if they are confusing sometimes we need clarifycation even if it is to stop hurting someone's feelings or to get a better grasp of issues. I have done readings for my sister who is on a very self destructive sprial and I want to know the best way to help her. If I am doing a reading for person who is in a rommantic relationship and they want a reading done on the relationship do I need to get both parties permissions? I guess everyone has different ethics and opinions on the issue this is just my $0.02

Like some people have already said, if you're doing a reading, even with someone's permission, that reading is most likely going to involve other people in the querent's life.

If a wife asks for a reading about whether or not her spouse is cheating, you're doing a reading about the spouse (and possible lover) without their permission.
This applies to most readings. No man is an island, when you are divining about a person, other people in their lives are bound to 'come up' in a reading.

I agree, it's about intention

I guess people are surprised on why I say never... It's not because I'm not flexible, because yes, instead of Reading for another person not present or doing a question that will reflect their personal life, you can always reformulate the question entirely.

Permission:
For duration of the Reading only, for what the Reading entails. So that's no famous people, no missing people, etc.

What I would like to ask people who do Read without asking permission, and then afterwards sometimes tell them:

- What if the person is offended? He/she didn't want any Reading, didn't want you to know certain personal things. Are they bad for this?
- What if you see something really personal. Do you tell them?

I don't want to be in this position. If I am concerned, I will do a Reading asking: "Why am I so worried about this person?" to see which signals I am picking up that the other person is having troubles then to ask: "What is going on with X". Or: "What do *I* need to know about X". This way I am asking God what I need to know.
There is a lot of ways you can phrase a question.

When I pray for another, and ask God to shelter them, I am not getting any personal information about their lives. =)

Kahlie

Kahlie said:

What I would like to ask people who do Read without asking permission, and then afterwards sometimes tell them:

- What if the person is offended? He/she didn't want any Reading, didn't want you to know certain personal things. Are they bad for this?
- What if you see something really personal. Do you tell them?

I don't want to be in this position. If I am concerned, I will do a Reading asking: "Why am I so worried about this person?" to see which signals I am picking up that the other person is having troubles then to ask: "What is going on with X". Or: "What do *I* need to know about X". This way I am asking God what I need to know.
There is a lot of ways you can phrase a question.

Click to expand...

Let's use an example (one I have unfortunately had to face in real life a few times now.) I am 20 years old, and until last month I was running a Pagan group for students. However, every now and then we'd get somebody much older turn up to meetings. This is fine - we don't want to discriminate based on age. But then they do something weird... they look a little too much at the young ladies... they invade personal space a bit too much... they say certain things that light alarm bells in your head. You're caught in the situation where they might just be a little socially over-eager to get to know people... or they might have bad intentions towards people in the group. Do you ask them outright "are you a weirdo stalker who wants to prey on the young women in this group?" Not if you're in that position. So, I asked the cards about his intentions. Certainly the man in question didn't want me to know certain personal things: but that's because these certain personal things would have caused me some serious harm if I hadn't known them. Do I care that he may have been offended by me finding these things out? No. I care that some really bad stuff was prevented from happening because I had the benefit of the knowledge.

I didn't tell anyone the knowledge I found, nor did I tell him.

Now, some people would have been able to get that same knowledge through non-Tarot means, e.g. a police check (!) or simple body language and experience with similar kinds of people before. But I am notorious for trusting too easily, and I have not had these kinds of experiences before - so I wanted to be sure I wasn't placing my trust too easily through means of Tarot. I have no doubt that those who found the knowledge through non-Tarot means would not be condemned for it - yet the same knowledge, gained through Tarot would be questioned as to its ethics. Why?

As to asking "What do I need to know about X" I think is just changing the wording to make it sound better. If I ask "Does X have bad intentions towards the group?" I don't see how that is less ethical than "What do I need to know about X?"

Kiama: Is he still in the group? Somethings you just get a hunch about a person, when you know that they have ulterior motives.

Kiama said:

As to asking "What do I need to know about X" I think is just changing the wording to make it sound better. If I ask "Does X have bad intentions towards the group?" I don't see how that is less ethical than "What do I need to know about X?"

Click to expand...

I don't think so.

"What do I need to know about X"
- Focus is on me
- I leave it to God to show me what I need to know
- I have an open mind as to the information.

"Does X have bad intentions towards the group"
- Focus is on X
- I have already put the focus of the Reading on bad intentions. So I no longer am open to other interpretations or other things I need to know about this person.
- I do not have a completely open mind.

I don't think this is semantics. =)

I do read for others without their knowledge. My Mom usually won't talk to me about her health problems, she gets very depressed - I like to know beforehand if she's going downhill to try and stop it and with my reading for her, although without her knowing, I try to be useful.

When hubby has been worried about his work life, I've done readings and although he doesn't fully believe in tarot, I feel I can help.

I've done other readings on people not related to me - I'm having problems with neighbours at the moment and with the King and Knight of Swords popping up in the readings, I don't think the matter is going to be resolved soon.

Tarot is a very big part of my life and I tend to use it to find answers or to try and find solutions - the information I get about others doesn't leave me and so I don't think what I do is unethical.

Kahlie said:

I don't think so.

"What do I need to know about X"
- Focus is on me
- I leave it to God to show me what I need to know
- I have an open mind as to the information.

"Does X have bad intentions towards the group"
- Focus is on X
- I have already put the focus of the Reading on bad intentions. So I no longer am open to other interpretations or other things I need to know about this person.
- I do not have a completely open mind.

I don't think this is semantics. =)

Click to expand...

Hi Kahlie,

I can see your point, but I think it does depend on the situation. Personally, I think all the information in my readings comes from what one may call God - no matter how I word the question. Also, "Does X have bad intentions towards the group/me" does have a focus on the querent.

I would also think that when we ask ourselves these questions without Tarot, e.g. by looking at body language/actions and asking "Does X have bad intentions towards me?" that we would not consider the information we got in this manner unethical at all.

You see- my beef is not really with whether asking certain things is unethical. My beef is with the common assumption that the information we gain with Tarot automatically has some different status to the same information gained through different methods.

If somebody feels that asking "Is X gay?" (for example) is wrong, because they think we shouldn't pry into their business with or without Tarot, then I'm fine with that. I understand that. But if somebody would quite happily gain the information about X's sexual orientation through non-Tarot means, but then declare that the same information gained through Tarot is unethical, I have a problem. Why does Tarot as a method have a different ethical status to other, non-Tarot methods?

Kiama