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Collaborative Spread Creation #2 - Infidelity

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Quote:
Originally Posted by rwcarter
Before we can move onto the larger spread, we need to determine which of the three versions of the 5 card spread we're using:







FTR, my ego is not at all involved in this, so I won't be hurt if my version isn't chosen.

Rodney

I actually like how you worded yours the best. I like the first one too.. but you seem to pretty much cover the same thing, but worded specifically.

I like afrosaxon's layout better though because it doesn't take up a lot of room. {which would go with my smaller spread feel}. :-) I also like their 5th question.. "What is the possibility that my partner is cheating on me". So can it be a 6 card spread with that question added before your "what will happen in three months" question? I think that question of the possibilty of cheating needs to stay in the spread.

Thanks!
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Quote:
Originally Posted by BeyondtheVeil
I like afrosaxon's layout better though because it doesn't take up a lot of room. {which would go with my smaller spread feel}. :-)
My version takes up more vertical space whereas afrosaxon's (her) version takes up more horizontal space. That's another to-may-to/to-mah-to thing though.

Quote:
Originally Posted by BeyondtheVeil
I also like their 5th question.. "What is the possibility that my partner is cheating on me". So can it be a 6 card spread with that question added before your "what will happen in three months" question? I think that question of the possibilty of cheating needs to stay in the spread.

Thanks!
Not sure where you got that 5th position from.... afrosaxon's 5th position was the outcome of the partner cheating, not the possibility of the partner cheating. Wouldn't the possibility of the partner cheating be covered in my position 4 - what's really going on with the partner? A position worded as "the possibility of...." really only yields an answer of very likely, likely, unclear, unlikely, very unlikely. I find "the possibility of..." as a position limiting because it narrows the scope of the answer to basically a yes/no about whatever's the subject of the possibility.

I'm pretty literal with my interpretations based on how the positions are worded. Other readers may have no problem interpreting a "possibility" position as "very likely because blah blah blah." I don't see the "because blah blah blah" part as being covered by a "possibility" position. That could be overcome with "what's the possibility and why" but I'm not fond of two questions in one position. So we'd have to add two more positions (possibility and why), turning it into a 7 card spread. And I don't think that's necessary because I think position 4 covers what you're trying to get at.

At least the way I see my wording of position 4, it could reveal infidelity or a secret or that the partner is engrossed in work or that financial problems are the root of the partner's actions, etc. As worded, it could also show something else that's going on with the partner instead of them cheating (i.e., this is going on with the partner and s/he's cheating, but I'm only going to show you the other thing). So maybe position 4 needs to be reworded to be "The most important thing the Querent needs to know about what's going on with the partner." That way if the partner is engrossed in work because s/he is cheating with a co-worker, the cheating should hopefully come up instead of the being engrossed in work.

Using afrosaxon's layout and my wording, I would rearrange the positions as follows:

1.........4

........................5

2.........3

Having the physical and emotional indicators on different lines makes one seem more important than the other. So they both need to be either on the same row or in the same column.

Rodney
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Quote:
Originally Posted by rwcarter
My version takes up more vertical space whereas afrosaxon's (her) version takes up more horizontal space. That's another to-may-to/to-mah-to thing though.
I can tell that we would have fun in real life! LOL ;-)

Quote:
Originally Posted by rwcarter
Not sure where you got that 5th position from.... afrosaxon's 5th position was the outcome of the partner cheating, not the possibility of the partner cheating. Wouldn't the possibility of the partner cheating be covered in my position 4 - what's really going on with the partner? A position worded as "the possibility of...." really only yields an answer of very likely, likely, unclear, unlikely, very unlikely. I find "the possibility of..." as a position limiting because it narrows the scope of the answer to basically a yes/no about whatever's the subject of the possibility.
Again.. you think through these things better than I. :-) I don't really put any focus on a certain question being more important. {Remember.. I am the one that does only TWO very basic spreads}. BIG GRIN!
So.. the positions to me really doesn't make a difference. I am just taking your guy's word for it. If it gets me the info I want.. any way is perfect. lol

The wording. 'what is really going on with my partner" is good though would it cover {what is really going on with my partner in regards to my suspicions of cheating?} What if we aren't clear about "what is really going on with my partner" and it addresses something other than cheating?


Quote:
Originally Posted by rwcarter
I'm pretty literal with my interpretations based on how the positions are worded. Other readers may have no problem interpreting a "possibility" position as "very likely because blah blah blah." I don't see the "because blah blah blah" part as being covered by a "possibility" position. That could be overcome with "what's the possibility and why" but I'm not fond of two questions in one position. So we'd have to add two more positions (possibility and why), turning it into a 7 card spread. And I don't think that's necessary because I think position 4 covers what you're trying to get at.
I can see your point, but do you understand what I am trying to say in the above reply? The question should be more clear on 'the real thing that is going on with my partner about cheating". Maybe two more positions would be good? I dunno. I will reread this when I get more time. I am having to hurry out the door. I understand your points and they are valid. I just want to make sure that the questions asked {in each position} clearly focus on getting to the fact of cheating is or will occur. {though it would have to be the possibility because you yourself said that nothing is set}.


Quote:
Originally Posted by rwcarter
At least the way I see my wording of position 4, it could reveal infidelity or a secret or that the partner is engrossed in work or that financial problems are the root of the partner's actions, etc. As worded, it could also show something else that's going on with the partner instead of them cheating (i.e., this is going on with the partner and s/he's cheating, but I'm only going to show you the other thing). So maybe position 4 needs to be reworded to be "The most important thing the Querent needs to know about what's going on with the partner." That way if the partner is engrossed in work because s/he is cheating with a co-worker, the cheating should hopefully come up instead of the being engrossed in work.
That is the exact thing I am wanting to avoid. Just because a person is preoccupied with work, illness, whatever doesn't then mean they are not cheating too. So.. with your wording.. you are assuming that just because they are having a bad day, work problems, etc then there could be no way of cheating. My EX was engrossed with work {he worked 80+ hours a week} but amazingly he was cheating with many people during that time. So again.. being busy doesn't mean no cheating.

Quote:
Originally Posted by rwcarter
Using afrosaxon's layout and my wording, I would rearrange the positions as follows:

1.........4

........................5

2.........3

Having the physical and emotional indicators on different lines makes one seem more important than the other. So they both need to be either on the same row or in the same column.

Rodney
As I stated, I am new to Tarot reading but with my readings I haven't had to have them in any set order to get an accurate reading. {or a reading that people understand/relate to}. So I guess I don't think of the positions as you do. I think of a spread with positions as getting some answers not where something sits in a lay out. My focus in on each position/question not on where or what is near each said card. I guess for me.. that isn't an issue of having to have them be important. I think every single question in the spread is important. {I hope that makes sense}. lol I am tired.. in a hurry.. so forgive me if I am not making any sense! I wll come back to check later. LOL

Thanks for helping with all of this! I am sure you want to hurt me by now.. lol.. but I just want to make sure that you understand what I want and my thinking. That will help me better understand you too.
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So to ensure the positions are in line with your goal for the spread, how does this sound?

1. Why the Querent thinks their partner is cheating on them
2. The physical indicator(s) that make the Querent think their partner is cheating on them
3. The emotional indicator(s) that make the Querent think their partner is cheating on them
4. What the Querent needs to know about the partner's fidelity or lack thereof
5. The state of the relationship 3 months from now
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Quote:
Originally Posted by rwcarter
That's not quite what I said. I said that one person can't be held to a standard or set of expectations that both people haven't discussed. (But I said that in the context of a dating relationship, not a marriage.)
I don't think we have to choose between one or the other. The best spreads can cover multiple situations in my opinion....
Good! I was hoping you would say that! :-)


Quote:
Originally Posted by rwcarter
Touche!
LOL! You liked it! :-P



Quote:
Originally Posted by rwcarter
That's why we're doing these collaborative exercises - to show folks who are interested in creating spreads the process behind creating them. As with most things that are created, there may be multiple failed attempts before just the right one comes to be. And while the process may not be easy, it's not impossible either.
I know.. this is pretty interesting. I didn't realize all of the different things that go into a spread. Trying to find the best way to word questions is also a lot harder than I thought. lol Neat though! :-)


Quote:
Originally Posted by rwcarter
So it appears that we're in agreement that a larger version of the existing spread is needed. Now we need to start thinking about what other positions need to be included in the extended version of the spread.

Rodney
Definitely in agreement about a larger version of the spread. I think you were right about needing it to help clarify and/or find out more info. I kinda bit off more than I can chew with readings today and life {LOL}.. so I will think about this later tonight. I am sure you guys have a ton of ideas. I will look forward to feeling more comfortable with this process. Then I can actually add more help then 'twists". LOL :-)
I am only trying to keep you on your toes though Rodney! :-)
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Quote:
Originally Posted by rwcarter
So to ensure the positions are in line with your goal for the spread, how does this sound?

1. Why the Querent thinks their partner is cheating on them
2. The physical indicator(s) that make the Querent think their partner is cheating on them
3. The emotional indicator(s) that make the Querent think their partner is cheating on them
4. What the Querent needs to know about the partner's fidelity or lack thereof
5. The state of the relationship 3 months from now

Now that is good! I think number 4 is definitely worded better. :-) Looks great! Thanks for your hard work!
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OK, now that we've got the positions for the smaller version of the spread nailed down, what positions need to be included in the larger version?
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Quote:
Originally Posted by rwcarter
OK, now that we've got the positions for the smaller version of the spread nailed down, what positions need to be included in the larger version?
Maybe a position on 'where' the infidelity is taking place or could. {work, family's house, baby sitter, etc} LOL

Well I can't think of any different positions or questions for 'this' spread because people don't want to 'assume' that the person is cheating.
If we had another spread.. then we could ask questions on we KNOW that someone is or may in the near future cheat. Then we can ask questions that way to get more clarifying answers. Maybe even with more specific questions?

What do you think? I guess that goes back to your original idea of another spread. Then we could use those together. This one to see and the other to find out How, where, why, if it is serious, etc.
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I haven't forgotten about this, but I've been busy the last few days. I'll be back this weekend.
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In terms of a larger spread, where there is more room to explore the topic, the thought I had at the beginning (but with no room for it limited to 5 cards) is a couple of questions like:

What is A's definition of infidelity?
What is B's definition of infidelity?

Since the question seems to be trying to assess a tendency toward infidelity for the indefinite future, knowing how each person thinks infidelity even is might help establish that?
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