Aeclectic Tarot
Tarot Cards & Reviews          Free Tarot Readings           What's New           Tarot Card Meanings

To Keep a Tarot Gift:

  > Aeclectic Tarot Forum > Tarot > Talking Tarot




 
The crowned one's Avatar
The crowned one  The crowned one is offline
Moderation
 
Join Date: 12 Mar 2007
Location: Canada.
Posts: 18,448
The crowned one 

I forget about half of what my wife says to me by the time she's done saying it. It does not mean I love her any less or I am disrespecting her purposely. I have gone off to get her a surprise gift and actually wondered "now did she say she likes that or hates that??" I chance it and am right about 60% when I am wrong she tells me, no big deal.

This was not a " behavior" it was a action and to me it is acceptable mistake when no disrespect is meant and intentions are good. I have done it without a trace of malace and only trying to make my wife happy. We men blow it all the time. He must have had good intentions because his feelings were mildly hurt when he found out the truth. It just not that big of a deal.
Top   #41
afrosaxon's Avatar
afrosaxon  afrosaxon is offline
Citizen
 
Join Date: 09 Dec 2007
Location: MIA
Posts: 5,630
afrosaxon 

Quote:
Originally Posted by Lillie

On the other hand he thinks he has explained the meaning of 'pre-amp' to me dozens of times, and also the off side rule in football.
.
Did he explain the off-side rule in football, using condiments?

There is a scene in the movie Bend It Like Beckham, where the soccer (football) dad/husband tries to explain the off-side rule to the fashionista mother/wife using bottles of sea salt, "posh French mustard", and teriyaki sauce. Hilarious!

T.
Top   #42
Grizabella's Avatar
Grizabella  Grizabella is offline
Card Reader/Fortune Teller
 
Join Date: 08 Jul 2004
Location: Tacoma, WA
Posts: 23,358
Grizabella 

I learned quite a long time ago that if you tell a man (or a child) "don't get this", then when they go to buy something, the "don't get this" carries more weight in their mind than the "do get" and they'll buy the "don't get" just because that's the one that stuck in their mind uppermost. I learned to just say the "do get" and not say the "don't get". The "don't get" goes into the "this is important" file in their mind, but not WHY it's important so when they're purchasing whatever it is, they'll get what you didn't want because that's what stands out in their mind as being important.

OK----I know that sounds confusing. But it's true.
Top   #43
Lillie's Avatar
Lillie  Lillie is offline
Frog
 
Join Date: 12 Dec 2004
Location: Nowhere
Posts: 11,969
Lillie 



sadly not condiments yet.

Men care about stuff like that.

But they are very vague on shopping things....
Top   #44
The crowned one's Avatar
The crowned one  The crowned one is offline
Moderation
 
Join Date: 12 Mar 2007
Location: Canada.
Posts: 18,448
The crowned one 

Quote:
Originally Posted by Solitaire*
I learned quite a long time ago that if you tell a man (or a child) "don't get this", then when they go to buy something, the "don't get this" carries more weight in their mind than the "do get" and they'll buy the "don't get" just because that's the one that stuck in their mind uppermost. I learned to just say the "do get" and not say the "don't get". The "don't get" goes into the "this is important" file in their mind, but not WHY it's important so when they're purchasing whatever it is, they'll get what you didn't want because that's what stands out in their mind as being important.

OK----I know that sounds confusing. But it's true.
Smart lady!!
Top   #45
Alta's Avatar
Alta  Alta is offline
Golden Silvery Dionna
 
Join Date: 06 Aug 2001
Location: Canada
Posts: 27,056
Alta 

Well, I can see WhiteBirchWoman's viewpoint, and in fact have felt that same fire burning inside me, times past.

I have also felt that extreme anger over the sorts casual cruelty that happen within the confines of marriage and the way women often collude in it. At its extreme end (way off the scale to what is being described here) is the young lady, broken and bleeding in the ER, telling the nurses that "really, he loves me", and going back as soon as she can walk. My mom was a nurse, and she saw this first hand.

Right... hey, just a small thing. A 'guy thing'. Right??? right?

But, WhiteBirchWoman isn't the only one who reacts the other way than that which most did, and likely through bitter experience. All I am saying is, sometimes we have to see things for what they are... and what they are not.

M
Top   #46
WhiteBirchWoman  WhiteBirchWoman is offline
Resident
 
Join Date: 31 Dec 2007
Location: Montana, United Stats
Posts: 66
WhiteBirchWoman 

Quote:
Originally Posted by The crowned one
He must have had good intentions because his feelings were mildly hurt when he found out the truth. It just not that big of a deal.
Hurt feelings are not by default a sign of good intentions. What you are describing is a case of faulty memory. Based on what Tabi said I don't think that's the case. I certainly don't see how his behavior can be dismissed out of hand as nothing more than that. That's not how I read Tabi's post at all.
Top   #47
Lillie's Avatar
Lillie  Lillie is offline
Frog
 
Join Date: 12 Dec 2004
Location: Nowhere
Posts: 11,969
Lillie 

Quote:
Originally Posted by Marion
Well, I can see WhiteBirchWoman's viewpoint, and in fact have felt that same fire burning inside me, times past.

I have also felt that extreme anger over the sorts casual cruelty that happen within the confines of marriage and the way women often collude in it. At its extreme end (way off the scale to what is being described here) is the young lady, broken and bleeding in the ER, telling the nurses that "really, he loves me", and going back as soon as she can walk. My mom was a nurse, and she saw this first hand.

Right... hey, just a small thing. A 'guy thing'. Right??? right?

But, WhiteBirchWoman isn't the only one who reacts the other way than that which most did, and likely through bitter experience. All I am saying is, sometimes we have to see things for what they are... and what they are not.

M
It depends very much on the relationship.

I can only speak for mine.
And yeah, it's a 'guy thing' with him.
The casual cruelties I practice upon him are probably far more deliberate and are a 'woman thing'.

Only Tabi can decide whether her blokes actions were a forgetful man, a spiteful controlling man, or just someone who is to vague to get it right.
Top   #48
The crowned one's Avatar
The crowned one  The crowned one is offline
Moderation
 
Join Date: 12 Mar 2007
Location: Canada.
Posts: 18,448
The crowned one 

Quote:
Originally Posted by WhiteBirchWoman
Hurt feelings are not by default a sign of good intentions. What you are describing is a case of faulty memory. Based on what Tabi said I don't think that's the case. I certainly don't see how his behavior can be dismissed out of hand as nothing more than that. That's not how I read Tabi's post at all.
Ok ,agreed that hurt feelings are not by default a sign of good intentions, as a matter of fact my feelings are not hurt when my wife does not like my gifts as my intentions are good. It is her right to like what she likes and tell me what she does not. I guess Tabi needs to decide his intentions, communication is a good start.
Top   #49
Moonbow's Avatar
Moonbow  Moonbow is offline
Citizen
 
Join Date: 08 Nov 2003
Location: Southern England
Posts: 9,115
Moonbow 

This reminds me of the Christmas Eve that I saw a middle-aged man in a fashion boutique choosing a pair of trousers (obviously a last minute thought) for his wife.

He 'really' wanted this pair of red leather skinny jeans, and the poor young shop assistance was actually trying to persuade him into buying a handbag instead.

I guess our husbands sometimes have a different idea to us of the way we see ourselves.

If its near Christmas and I find myself saying "oh that's nice" I quickly follow it with "but don't buy it for me" because most men are very literal and although you may like red leather jeans, you might not want them for yourself!

Not sure if this helps your dilemma tabi. I think I would be honest and say I don't like, but not get into an argument about "I told you so..."
Top   #50




 

 


Tarot Cards & Reviews          Free Tarot Readings           What's New           Tarot Card Meanings
Aeclectic Tarot Forum Links
· Tarot
· Tarot Special Interest
· Beyond Tarot
· Forum Library

Aeclectic Tarot Categories
· Angel Decks
· Dark & Gothic Decks
· Goddess Decks
· Fairy Decks
· Doreen Virtue Decks
· Beginner Decks
· Cat Decks
· Pagan & Wiccan Decks
· Ancient Egyptian Decks
· Celtic Decks
· Lenormand Decks
· Rider-Waite Decks
· Marseilles Decks
· Thoth Decks
· Oracle Decks
· List All Decks
· Popular Tarot Decks
· Available Decks
· Tarot Books
· What's New

Copyright © 1996 - 2020 Aeclectic Tarot. All rights reserved. Privacy Policy. Contact us.