Which moon is holding the grudge?

Hi All,
Since I am new to this, I would really like your in put on this. I have been having a long time feud with my ex. We keep trying to get back together but always fall short because our anger from the past keeps resurfacing. We would have a shot at being together if we could just get past the resentment!

I used to think he was the more angry party and the party mainly responsible for holding us back. I blamed him for keeping the grudge alive. However, now I realize maybe it is me that won't let go (more so than him). He has his Sun in Taurus. Mine is in Aries. However, it's the Moon that is connected to our emotions. His Moon is in Virgo and mine is in Taurus.

Could it be that even though I like to portray that I have let go off the past hurt and have progressed further than him, that its really me who is the one that is keeping the issues from the past alive? After all, my moon in in Taurus. Since Taurus is a fixed sign, it is slow to move. Since it's ruled by Venus, I presume it's rather emotional and sensitive ( I dont know if Venus is or not, I'm just guessing)?

His moon is in Virgo (mutable) and its ruled by Mercury (a planet that loves jumping from one side to the other). So, he is perhaps basing his emotions on mine and probably taking his cues from me? Especially since Virgo is supposed to be group oriented so I would take that they like consensus? This makes me thing that if I move on, maybe he will, too, and that he is still hurt (or at least angry) because I clearly am. Or do you think our Mars placements play into this as well- especially since we are dealing with anger?

If Mars should be factored in, then I think it is noteworthy that my Mars is in Scorpio (fixed) and his is in Aries (cardinal). Again, me with the fixed sign. From what I know of Aries they'll get mad, blow up, and then are pretty much over it. Scorpio, on the other, has a troubles letting go of past insults and anger.

I read that if you hurt Scorpio, they tend to hold onto it internally and keep the anger and hurt alive inside of them. Then they lash out from what seems like out of nowhere. Based on all of this, I am beginning to suspect I'm the one that's holding onto the grudge (more so than him)? After all this time, I thought it was him who was keeping us from progressing...

It's never easy to give more than a speculative response, with only a few sign placements.

A Taurus Sun/Moon relationship will create attraction - other factors being equal.

An Aries/Taurs Sun relationship might well create a clash - but again other planetary placements can easily change this.

Your Moon signs are in trine, so that should actually not be a divisive or tension creating issue. Again bear in mind the rider on other planets.

Your Mars relationships can indeed produce some conflict (though despite the signs being inconjunct, Mars does provide a common factor) Mars is in dignity in both signs, so neither is likely to back down but this isn't a locking of horns conflict, as you say the Scorpio Mars is more indirect.

You'd have to look at a wider field of issues though, a comparison of temperament, which in turn requires a consideration of Ascendants (which you don't mention).

Thanks for helping me, Minderwiz

Minderwiz said:

It's never easy to give more than a speculative response, with only a few sign placements.

A Taurus Sun/Moon relationship will create attraction - other factors being equal.

An Aries/Taurs Sun relationship might well create a clash - but again other planetary placements can easily change this.

Your Moon signs are in trine, so that should actually not be a divisive or tension creating issue. Again bear in mind the rider on other planets.

Click to expand...

I see what you mean. This whole time, rather than counting the distance, I would just look at the bottom to at the graph and see the Moon's relation to the planet it falls in. Now I see I was doing it wrong for relational charts. I should have factored the planets to each other.

Minderwiz said:

You'd have to look at a wider field of issues though, a comparison of temperament, which in turn requires a consideration of Ascendants (which you don't mention).

Click to expand...

His Ascendant is in Gemini and mine is Virgo. Someone told me I should also consider our Saturn placements- do you agree? My Saturn is in Scorpio and his is Sagittarius. It seems like in almost every planetary aspect (that may be a factor) I'm the fixed sign and he's a cardinal. I'm going to research how Saturn and Ascendants plays a role into this but the more I look into our placements, the more I wonder if maybe I'm not as flexible or as forgiving as I had thought. I knew growing up, I held grudges but I liked to think I had changed.

Thanks again, Minderwiz, you have helped me a lot

Aries
Taurus
Gemini
Virgo
Scorpio

These signs keep recurring from your posts. Mars, Venus, Mercury are key planets in your relationship. Indeed the only planet outside this group of signs is his Saturn in Sagittarius.

Now you haven't given your Mercury placements, but his will be in the above group of signs, Yours probably is, though there is a chance it might be in Pisces.

Venus can be up to 48 degrees from the Sun, so there's a wider range of possibilities there but again there's a good chance that both Venus placements are in this range.

That leaves Jupiter as something of an unknown. The seven traditional planets are a reasonable start in your analysis with emphasis on Sun Moon Ascendant and their rulers (Mercury Venus and Mars). Mercury placements will also say something about your ability to communicate with each other.

Also look at the house placements - which of his houses do your planets fall in and vice versa. Are the placements angular, for example how close to your Virgo Ascendant is his Virgo Moon and which side does it lie, twefth or first.

Just begin to think over some of the relationships, especially among the key planets above. Don't try to be too deep at first, simply look for harmonies and stresses. Also don't expect everything to fall into place at the beginning. As you learn more you can go back over the interplay between the two charts. However as you learn more you can directly apply your new knowledge to both charts independently. A good knowledge of the natal charts will help you to begin to work on synsastry.

Whilst you can include the outers, if your ages are fairly close together the sign placements are likely to be the same or nearly the same. If you follow a psychological approach (and currently most do) you may find that factoring them in will help, especially if they are in close aspect with any of the other seven.

Minderwiz said:

Aries
Taurus
Gemini
Virgo
Scorpio

These signs keep recurring from your posts. Mars, Venus, Mercury are key planets in your relationship. Indeed the only planet outside this group of signs is his Saturn in Sagittarius.

Now you haven't given your Mercury placements, but his will be in the above group of signs, Yours probably is, though there is a chance it might be in Pisces .

Venus can be up to 48 degrees from the Sun, so there's a wider range of possibilities there but again there's a good chance that both Venus placements are in this range.

Click to expand...

wow, I never noticed that pattern but you are right- these signs do repeat a lot. His mercury is in Aries mine is in Taurus. My Mercury Trine Jupiter and I read that means I'm supposed to be really bent on fairness and what is morally and ethically right (probably furthering our problems). His Venus is in Taurus and mine is in Pisces (you were right about that). I think I'm going to focus on these signs, then...

Minderwiz said:

Also look at the house placements - which of his houses do your planets fall in and vice versa. Are the placements angular, for example how close to your Virgo Ascendant is his Virgo Moon and which side does it lie, twefth or first.

Just begin to think over some of the relationships, especially among the key planets above. Don't try to be too deep at first, simply look for harmonies and stresses.

Click to expand...

I will do just that

Minderwiz said:

Whilst you can include the outers, if your ages are fairly close together the sign placements are likely to be the same or nearly the same. If you follow a psychological approach (and currently most do) you may find that factoring them in will help, especially if they are in close aspect with any of the other seven.

Click to expand...

Thank you, this is very helpful advice! I printed what you said out for my journal.

OK, a couple of additional bits of information have fallen into place:

Him:

Sun Taurus

Mercury Aries, so Mercury rose before the Sun and will set before it. Mercury is a Morning Star and is oriental. Later on you might begin to use that as relevant information. It;s also very likely that his Mercury is retrograde

Venus Taurus, so you need to identify whether it rose before or after the Sun (before it will have fewer degrees than the Sun, after it will have more degrees) You can also identify whether it's combust - that is it's within 8 degrees of the Sun (conjunct in modern parlance).

You:

Sun Aries,

Mercury Taurus, Mercury rose after the Sun, so it's occidental and will be seen as an evening star. So not only is there a sign difference but the relationship to the Sun is different. Where as his Mercury is likely to be retrograde yours is likely to be direct.

Venus Pisces, Your Venus is oriental, it rose before the Sun and again may well be Retrograde or had recently changed to direct motion but is relatively slow.

Both of You:

You are both Day births, He's morning with the Sun likely to be in the twefth or eleventh houses. You were born in the afternoon with the Sun around the eigth or seventh houses.

Have a think around those house placements when you work through the Study Group on Sun through the houses.

Thank you, Minderwiz

Minderwiz, thanks to your guidance, I think I have developed a pretty good understanding of this whole situation (or at least I am a lot further from where I started). I will take your advice and rethink this more in depth when we cover these houses during Study Group. Thanks again.