Konraad's Past Life Spread: Throne 1

This looked so fascinating that I had to have a go, so here goes - (using the Courtney Davis Celtic deck)

Throne 1 - Ace of Cups
Death, the Heirophant, the Tower, the Hermit
***************************the Chariot

Okay - I did have a happy childhood, but I was a very sickly child. Almost died when I was two years old, so that might explain Death and the Heirophant as the doctor who saved me. Didn't find out until recently, but I should have had an elder brother, except that he died very soon after birth - my parents really don't like to talk about it, so I'm not sure of the details.
The Tower is puzzling - there were no sudden upsets or shocks during my childhood. My parents have always argued - I guess that's what's kept them together for 50+ years!
The Hermit - that's easy, it's me. A quiet, shy child who lived in a world of her own. Doesn't the Hermit represent Virgo? If so, it's double me!
The Chariot - I've always had the impression that Life is something that happens to me, rather than the other way round. I don't seem to make the big decisions, just get carried along with the flow.
Yeah, it seems to have my number!

Jilly

looking at the past...

i felt pulled by my athurian legend deck to do a past life reading for myself. it was done about a week ago and now i'm starting to read into the cards. there was alot of energy after the initial laying of the cards and reading the meanings by the book.

hopefully i'm putting the cards in the right order from how i have them written down.

throne #1 ace of spears (wands)
**temperance*the star*the hierophant*the horned one (devil)**
** the tower**

for this throne the 1st drawn is the horned one. symbol of my chaotic home life i had as a child, adolescent and young adult. only when i moved out of my parents house did i start feeling some kind of balance. as a child i had "instincts of an animal" because i needed to keep out of the chaos with mom & dad fighting so much, i needed to protect myself but i also worried about my brother.

hierophant, i thought at first this was the pastor at my church when i was a child, he is the spiritual person that i held onto when the chaos worsened, getting totally beyond control. i also formed very strong beliefs about sex before marriage, mainly because i was afraid of getting pregnant - i also began to follow the teachings of mormons because of the osmond family. from my point of view, they were what i strove to be, strong loving family. i drew comfort from keeping in touch w/my cousin edna w/o really knowing why we had such a strong emotional and psychic bond.

the star, amid the dysfunction i was able to find hope w/in it. my path began in adolescence searching for my individuality, my uniqueness--what it is that makes me happy. that there's more to life than what is right at this moment. it was the same in my early life.

temperance, conformity so not to rock the boat. at home was constantly walking on eggshells. i wonder if this could also be my dad, he was sag. when the fights got to be too much he would always walk away of course to drink more but never to hurt me and my brother.

tower, the family only moved a few times in my life time and each time i would lose my best friends. or when it became crazy in the house i would lash out at my friends - hurting them because i wasn't getting my way. i've always placed alot of expectations on my friendships because i felt that they needed to fulfill what was lacking in my homelife. - they are still more important tham my parents. i just don't tell my parents this cause they'll never understand that my friends accept me for me and don't try to make me someone i'm not meant to be.

well, i think so far so good. would love to have the old timers and newbies to give a look see at my first throne. i'm going to work on throne 2 tonight so i should have it posted in a couple of days.

blessed be!

tabbycat said:

I've always had the impression that Life is something that happens to me, rather than the other way round. I don't seem to make the big decisions, just get carried along with the flow.
Yeah, it seems to have my number!

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Tabby Cat -

Great interpretation on your spread! I know exactly what you mean about being carried along with the flow. It's something that I've worked at changing about myself.

Blessings -

Starfish

Re: looking at the past...

PurpleGoddess said:

well, i think so far so good. would love to have the old timers and newbies to give a look see at my first throne. i'm going to work on throne 2 tonight so i should have it posted in a couple of days.

Click to expand...

Purple Goddess -

First off - WOW. What a deep first throne. Definitely a tough childhood/adolescence. (sending you hugs)

Secondly - great take on your spread. Excellent interpretations. I am a relative newbie myself and loved doing the Konraad Spread.

I look forward to reading your other Thrones.

Blessings -

Starfish

Here goes with this....

Dear Sisters,

I posted to the general spread earlier today, and have done some further work. I'd really appreciate your feedback as to whether I am on the right track.

Konrad Past Life Spread

Throne 1

Ace of Cups

The Cups mean that my childhood destiny was ‘love and pleasure’

I can certainly remember many happy times because we grew up in beautiful wheat country and there was lots of wonderful exploring to do. I remember a deep sense of mystery and appreciation of the country where we lived, and much joy in it, despite some other things.

The other cards were:

Hermit Sun Death Fool

Emperor

I have to really think about what this means. Of course, the Death Card stands out. It can only mean there was a trauma of some sort but I am not completely sure what it could have been.

I imagine that I would be the Fool in this scenario. A happy bright little girl. I am not sure what the Emperor means but it could be the arrival of my brother, who is 18 months younger than I. In all my own reflections about my present life, this has seemed to be a critical time. My mother once remarked that she never forgot the night she dislodged me from the cot for my little brother! She said I looked at her as if she had betrayed me. oo.

There was always incredible competition between my brother and I which, as adults, has resolved into a pleasant but unloving relationship.

If the Emperor represents my brother, this makes sense. . The Emperor could also represent my Father, whose presence in my life was noticeable by his own withdrawal. I am fairly sure he disliked me, although he struggled against that. Perhaps the males in my family were former lovers in past life, who knows? It surprises me that I can say that now with equanimity. I had a reading at the Spiritualist Union 15 years ago, where the Reader advised me to heal my relationship with my father. I never got close to him, however.

By far the greatest memory is the feeling of abandonment by my mother. This could be Death, and had a profound effect on my life, resolved in great part before her death 11 years ago. I think I was scarred by the perceived abandonment but understood and ‘forgave’ that in my 30’s.

I became a very withdrawn little girl, with my own private but happy and amazing world. This persisted into early adulthood and made me an odd teenager and, I think, an eccentric middle-aged woman! It is interesting to look at the Past Lives (Throne 4) part of this spread, when it appears that I came from a background of great power. The High Priestess appears here in my past life, and part of my own withdrawal as a teenager was into Catholicism in a profound way. For years I attended Mass on a daily basis, and almost became a nun. Then there was a radical rejection of all of that, and much suffering resulting in a critical physical illness as a young woman (which I still have today but to a much lesser extent.

I have had some very significant dreams about those childhood days, some quite archetypal. In the last twenty years, I have been driven and then drawn to revisit the places we lived in as children. The most recent of these visits was only three years ago.


My dear sisters, does it sound as though I am on the right track? I realise that I have simply walked into these pages and assumed that you would welcome me to this group. Very “High Priestess” behaviour, it seems. Forgive me. Although you did welcome me, Starfish, thank you!

This past is not painful for me and I have tried not to bother you with too much detail. I have spent many years (my 30’s) understanding it, and hoped that love and “forgiveness” would heal the wounds as much as they could be healed. There was certainly peace in my family before the deaths of my parents. The scars of childhood are still there, however, and I dream about them sometimes in graphic ways.

I feel driven now to understand some more but does it sound as though I am on the right track? I would be very grateful for your advice.


Moongold

Ok, my turn:
(note: I didn't use reversals after all - it doesn't feel right for the Elemental Tarot, which was the deck I used. I'll use the R/W titles for the cards to avoid confusion)

Throne 1: Childhood/Destiny

--------------------- Ace of Wands------------------------

The Fool | The Hermit | The Devil | Justice |

------------------- The Moon ------------------------------


Ace of Wands: "Work & Responsibility"

That doesn't fit my childhood at all. Since to me Wands/Fire are the element of the individualist, I see the Ace of Wands as symbolizing my feeling that I didn't fit in; I was so "special", different from others, that I was always singled out. I was a highly intelligent child - I never spoke baby-talk, read at the age of three, etc. My talents were met with envy and as a result I was shunned (not by my family, but by everyone else). I was convinced that something was very wrong with me, that I wasn't "normal".

When I looked at the spread, it occured to me that if I see "childhood" as spanning over puberty and adolescence, then each card covered roughly 5 years ...

The Fool : years 0 - 5 (early childhood)
Truly happy years. Perfect in every sense. I was completely at peace with myself and the world around me. My mother told me that I would rarely speak - I would sing everything I had to say

The Hermit: years 6 - 11 (elementary school)
This was the time when I was never invited to birthday parties and never managed to have friends. I didn't reflect on this (yet), but I reacted with withdrawal. I was one of those children that seem to be reading every time you see them - if you see them at all <g>.

The Devil: years 12 - 17 (teenage years)
This was the time when I was really depressed, feeling defective and ostracised. An interesting twist of the sexual aspect of the Devil is that in my case, girls were so afraid of my competition (at least that's the only explanation I have), that they started a rumour at school that I was lesbian. As a result, no boy even looked at me. I didn't know that, of course; I found out much later, when I wanted to take a closer look at my friend's earring and my teacher told me sternly that he was "not a friend of these things"... Before that, I asked my father (well, he was a man, he should know) what was wrong with me - that I felt as if I was invisible or didn't exist. He couldn't help me, of course.

Justice: years 18 - 23 (adolescence)
This is funny - I started to study the law <g>. Never finished it, but that's another throne...
On a more psychological note, I regained some balance and inner peace when I managed to distance myself from the peer pressure. As soon as I stopped caring about them, they started to seek out my advice - the world is a strange place indeed...

**************************************************

The Moon: I'm not sure what this card signifies - is it meant as the overall influence or atmosphere? If so, then there were a lot of unspoken and even unthought issues in my childhood - things that I didn't want to see or think about; being the Moon, this was of course completely unconscious - I didn't even know that I was suppressing things.

Ok, thoughts, input, anything? I'm so curious what you make of this. I'll return the favour, of course

Moongold:
absolutely! i think you did a great interpretation on this first throne (haven't read the others yet)

probably the emperor represents both the men in your life, because they both sound unemotionally connected to you.

and the hermit is definatley what you went through: turning inward to your own "happy little world" and hiding in your spirituality and religion (especially to go so far as considering being a nun!)

i think this spread sounds so interesting, and i hope doing it might help you with your physical problem. i can't wait to read your other thrones, and am glad you jumped on to do thiss spread!!

love and light to you sister!!

Moongold's Throne 1

napaea said:

Moongold:
absolutely! i think you did a great interpretation on this first throne (haven't read the others yet)

probably the emperor represents both the men in your life, because they both sound unemotionally connected to you.

and the hermit is definately what you went through: turning inward to your own "happy little world" and hiding in your spirituality and religion (especially to go so far as considering being a nun!)

i think this spread sounds so interesting, and i hope doing it might help you with your physical problem. i can't wait to read your other thrones, and am glad you jumped on to do thiss spread!!

Click to expand...

I'm totally with Napaea on your spread Moongold. And you didn't intrude on a thread - you joined in, which I think is wonderful!

I think the Hermit was a way for you to escape and your need to sort things out. I believe the High Priestess is going to be a major influence in your life(lives). I look forward to reading your other thrones.

Blessings -

Starfish

good job

tigerlily,
what i was able to read briefly so far so good. i might look over my throne 1 w/the years noted. but i think the cards pretty much hit the nail on the head of my earlier present life. acutally the cards are definitely telling my story!
peace

tigerlily said:

Throne 1: Childhood/Destiny

--------------------- Ace of Wands------------------------

The Fool | The Hermit | The Devil | Justice |

------------------- The Moon ------------------------------

Click to expand...

I think your take on the Ace of Wands aspect of your spread is dead on. Definitely a head-strong, fiery personality type - an individual who does things their way on their terms.

I can also see your interpretation as spanning childhood/youth/adolescence/young adult hood. I read the childhood spread as being up through about 22 or so in my life. I think that your explanation makes a lot of sense.

As for the Moon , as an overall influence, I see it as showing that your childhood was a time of uncertainty and consisted of periods of isolation and confusion. These feelings often lead to feeling vulnerable. This was a time that your purpose was to learn to balance the constructive and destructive energies within yourself. You needed to learn to confront your fears, control them, develop your intuition and move forwrd. Things are often NOT what they seem.

Great job!

Starfish