Stalked by Strength

Rewdan

BeccaBoo said:
Rewdan: ... I am just not really entirely sure what you want me to say However, I googled Native American Tarot and the only Strength card that came up on my search is labelled as card 11 and the picture had a Native American man pictured with a wolf and their eyes were locked into one another's. I do not really know if that helps or not though.

Good to hear from you

. And, certainly no worries please about not knowing what to say. I am simply expressing what comes through me. Believe me, I am learning a great deal here through your current experience with Strength. To explain this (before I get on to the American Indian story):

I am in a fulfilling marriage/partnership - as are some others on this thread. So why are we here, identifying with you, as if involved & participating in your partnership issue? Simple psychological answer: it is not simply a partnership issue, but something more profoundly unresolved in the psyche. You carry and reflect to us a wider unresolved issue: of inner strength and inner will - in each of us. Speaking for myself I do feel powerless (without strength or will) about a lot of things - especially in the wider world.

MandMaud: thanks for links to Native American Tarot decks. I looked through these, and did a few hours of study on the web about American Indian Mythology. So I have a greater perspective on:

A Dark and Denied side of America

Where to start with facing up to the American underbelly (definition of underbelly: a hidden unpleasant or criminal part of society) - its American Indian dark side? How to make the American Indian darkness in the American psyche conscious, and bring its strength and will into our own lives. [For those psychologically inclined: How does one confront this American Shadow?].

I believe we need to confront the American Indian unconscious in its starkest and most absolute (Shadow) form: where its greatest hidden inner STRENGTH lies. For now, identifying, naming and acknowledging this inner STRENGTH and power is, I believe, sufficient.

Where does the greatest power and strength reside in the American Indian psyche? As can be seen below, the all powerfulness of the American lands for the Indians across America was held by:

The Great Spirit.

Tribal Names:

"Ababinili" is the Chickasaw name for the Great Spirit
"Apistotoke" is the Blackfoot name for the Great Spirit
"Caddi-Ayo" is the name of the Caddo Great Spirit
"Chebbeniathan" is the name of the Arapaho Great Spirit
"Gici Niwaskw" is the name of the Abenaki Great Spirit
"Gitchi Manitou" is the name of the Ojibwe Great Spirit
"Gudatrigakwitl" is a name of the Wiyot Indian Great Spirit
"Ha-Wen-Neyu" is the name of the Huron Indian Great Spirit
"Kisulkw" is the name of the Micmac Indian Great Spirit
"Ketanitowet" is the Lenape Indian Great Spirit
"Maheo" is the Cheyenne Indian Great Spirit
"Orenda" is the Iroquois Indian Great Spirit
Sky-Chief (Carib Indian Great Spirit)
Spider of Heaven (Gros Ventre Great Spirit)
"Tam Apo" is the Shoshone name for the Great Spirit - meaning "Our Father"!
"Tirawa Atius" is the Pawnee Indian Great Spirit
"Utakke" is the Carrier Great Spirit
"Wakan Tanka": the Sioux name for the Great Spirit, 'Wakan Tanka', translates as the Great Mystery and referred to as the "Great Incomprehensibility" The Sioux believed that every object was spirit, or "wakan."
"Wakonda" is the Omaha Indian Great Spirit

The differences in the beliefs connected to the Great Spirit are demonstrated by the variety of different names given by tribes in reference to the Great Spirit. Note: The above is made/copied from some sources on the web. The list may have errors, and may not be complete.

The above is, simply, an effort to:

- acknowledge the American Indian in us across the world; because America as a nation has extended its influence across the globe, it has brought into many other nations, and their psyches, the influence of the unconscious American Indian
- begin a dialogue with the American Indian Spirit in us
- establish contact and communication with the American Indian Spirit in us; this can then begin to work within us, in our different ways.

BeccaBoo

Update: things progressively got worse as I put off making my final decision on the matter. It came to a point (and we are still at that point) where he choses work over his family. Yesterday he even came home from work and called my mom (who is house sitting at a friends) to find out what was going on (because the text messages saying that we forgot Jenna's arm floaties and that mom picked us up after work so we were over there swimming wasn't enough of a hint as to what was happening

) she was on the phone with him for a little over a minute before he put her on hold to answer a call from a coworker. She was on hold for ten minutes even though at this point he had been away from his job for all of 20 minutes.

I am over Jenna and me being low dogs on his priority list. I deserve better and further more Jenna SHOULD be number one. Clearly not the case and tonight I will be switching beds. I will be sleeping in the spare bed in Jenna's room. Just thought everyone who asked for an update might like to know!

For the record- I feel excellent! I could be in the clouds, I feel that good!

MandMaud

BeccaBoo said:
Update: things progressively got worse as I put off making my final decision on the matter. It came to a point (and we are still at that point) where he choses work over his family. Yesterday he even came home from work and called my mom (who is house sitting at a friends) to find out what was going on (because the text messages saying that we forgot Jenna's arm floaties and that mom picked us up after work so we were over there swimming wasn't enough of a hint as to what was happening ) she was on the phone with him for a little over a minute before he put her on hold to answer a call from a coworker.

That's exactly what my ex does! Well, did - he's free to do it to others now.

I learnt to put the phone down on him (no visible sign, ever, that he minded this, and it was SO against my nature), but that didn't help if I needed some information from him. More often he'd phoned to ask what my text said - I think he saw he had one from me and it was too much trouble to read it - or to say he had a voicemail and was it me, what was it about? (I hardly ever left him voicemails.)

BeccaBoo said:
I am over Jenna and me being low dogs on his priority list. I deserve better and further more Jenna SHOULD be number one. Clearly not the case and tonight I will be switching beds. I will be sleeping in the spare bed in Jenna's room. Just thought everyone who asked for an update might like to know!

For the record- I feel excellent! I could be in the clouds, I feel that good!

Yes, it is really good to have the update, thank you. That feeling great tells you all you need to know, doesn't it? Update us again when he's survived the BeccaBoo-free night... :heart:

BeccaBoo

LOL! Mandmaud, you crack me up! I will, indeed, let you know more tomorrow. However his feelings on a Becca free night are irrelevant.

He had his chance and made his bed and now he gets to lay in it without me next to him. His problem, not mine.

MandMaud

BeccaBoo said:
LOL! Mandmaud, you crack me up! I will, indeed, let you know more tomorrow. However his feelings on a Becca free night are irrelevant. He had his chance and made his bed and now he gets to lay in it without me next to him. His problem, not mine.

It is really great to hear you so happy!

Which bit cracks you up, the phoning to ask what the text said? No exaggeration, he habitually did that. Exasperation was his weapon of choice.

BeccaBoo

MandMaud said:
It is really great to hear you so happy!

Which bit cracks you up, the phoning to ask what the text said? No exaggeration, he habitually did that. Exasperation was his weapon of choice.

Just in general, really. Most of your posts make me laugh, giggle or smile. Most of the time I literally laugh out loud. Our guys just sound so similar, you truly get where I am coming from with him. How you write about it just... I don't know... I guess I just can't help but chuckle because of your wording/phrasing.

As for the night without me next to him- I think it was meant to be that way. My daughter was bit by a family friend's dog yesterday and Jenna ended up with 4 stitches. She had an autism related melt down and he came over and was trying to calm her down like she was a puppy and just nipped her. But that nip was enough.

poor little girl. I ended up sleeping (sort of- every movement she made last night I am pretty sure I heard) in her room anyway. Her and the dog are both fine. I talked to the county's animal control people today and the man I talked to even agreed that the dog was big enough (Weimaraner) to actually do damage if that is what he would have been trying to do. That and the fact that it was just a quick nip and not a bite and hold or bite and shake proved what he was trying to do. He had no prior bites on his history and is truly a very good dog. He has spent all other visits licking her face and loving on her. So that was good. No bad will happen to the dog, which makes me happy since I truly believe he was just trying to help me and my mom with Jenna. She is on antibiotics also to help fend off any infections that usually accompany a dog bite. They even gave Jenna a teddy bear in the ER after everything was done for being such a trooper. She held so tightly to that little bear I thought she was going to pop his stitches. Lol. I will keep you posted both on how things between me and my ex go as well as how Jenna is doing with her stitches and such. Mostly she has just laid around the house, not moving too much. She also has been sleepy today- which I can't blame her for. She is probably still just emotionally spent after yesterday and I don't think she slept well... After about 4:30-5 this morning she was up off and on waking up every half hour or so. Poor little doll. However all things considered she is doing pretty good. Oh and before I head out, the bite was on her thigh. And I will say this though- I am glad I knew the dog and its owner. I was lucky to be able to know the dogs ordinary behavior enough to gauge his actions and understand where he was coming from instead of wondering the whats and whys. Oh, and I was fully shocked by this- Rob called off work today so he could be home to help me and Jenna. I was blown away. Anywho, I gotta go check on my munchkin but I will keep you posted!

MandMaud

Yes, it is worse (and the shock lasts longer!) for the mum than for anyone else involved! {{hugz}}

I'm glad, also, that the dog's ok - dogs get a lot of blame for just being dogs, in the usual run of things.

But they do their best and often know better anyway!

You and Jenna can look back on this as something she coped really well with.

Never know, it could end up being looked back on as one of her growing-up turning points. Good that it's not physically going to leave lasting damage.

And now you go and have an early night!!

Pam O

BeccaBoo said:
Update: things progressively got worse as I put off making my final decision on the matter.
....

For the record- I feel excellent! I could be in the clouds, I feel that good!

So PROUD of you for finding the strength to say enough is enough. You deserve WAY more, and we are SO glad you are empowering yourself!

Aren't you glad you had the guts to post here at AT?

An aside: When I typed "guts", the very fun Zombie deck, and the awesome Halloween deck both made quite a mental ruckus to get attention. I don't know if you have either of these decks, but they seem to want to share powerful (strengthening) info with you in a comical way...

MandMaud

Pam O said:
An aside: When I typed "guts", the very fun Zombie deck, and the awesome Halloween deck both made quite a mental ruckus to get attention. I don't know if you have either of these decks, but they seem to want to share powerful (strengthening) info with you in a comical way...

Any card(s) in particular? and what do they look like?

BeccaBoo

Pam O said:
So PROUD of you for finding the strength to say enough is enough. You deserve WAY more, and we are SO glad you are empowering yourself!

Aren't you glad you had the guts to post here at AT?

An aside: When I typed "guts", the very fun Zombie deck, and the awesome Halloween deck both made quite a mental ruckus to get attention. I don't know if you have either of these decks, but they seem to want to share powerful (strengthening) info with you in a comical way...

Thank you and definitely.

I do not have either deck, but me thinks I shall look them up and see how much it would cost to order such things. My birthday is in a couple days and my mom keeps asking me what I want. Maybe I can tell her one of these decks since they seem to have a message for me.