The Lovers - love or free will?

Yesterday i was talking to my mother...my father is having problems in his second marriage (he and mom are divorced). He and my mother are still friends so we are all worried about him and wondering what's going on in his relationship with his new wife. While we talked about the possibilities, i was playing with my new Original RW deck...and suddenly i felt like looking for the Lovers card. And it gave me some interesting thoughts...

Have you noticed that the Lovers stands both for love and free will/choices in the traditional meanings? I'm not trying to find all possible meanings for this cards, just analyzing those two: love and free will.
My father moved with this woman too early...i think their relationship didn't have strong roots yet. He made a choice that now he is starting to regret - and he says love made him do that. But no, he *knew* what could happened if he moved in with this woman (here, if you live more than two years together with another person in a relationship, materially speaking you are 'married') yet he chose to live with her nonetheless. It wasn't love's fault - it was his. His free will.

I like to see what the Lovers tells you...it tell you the choice is yours. In the Marseilles' Lovers you see one man choosing between two women...he may choose with his heart or with his brain but the choice will be always his. And the consequences of his choice will be his responsibility, no matter if he gets a Chariot or a Tower in the future.
In the RW Lovers, we see two people: Adam and Eve. Ah, the famous choice...many like to blame Eve/the Serpent for tempting the poor Adam but that's not what happened. When Adam ate the apple, he chose his free will - he knew what would happen, the dangers of eating the forbidden fruit. Yet he ate it. Now he has to accept the consequences of his actions and leave the Eden. What he gets back? The power to make his own decisions, but also the responsibility of dealing with the results.

I don't think the Lovers says you must choose heart above mind...for me, it implies that it is YOUR choice and YOUR responsibility. Even in love matters, that so many (like my father) like to blame a 'greater force' for their own bad choices. Then comes one of Lover's advice: choose well. Think.
If you decide to move in with another person after only two months dating, it's your choice. If you decide to cheat on your wife/husband, it's your choice. Your fault, your responsibility. Even drugs, addictions - the first times you try, it's you choosing to hand your free will on a silver plate.

I hope i wasn't too confusing here. The reason why i'm posting this is to share my thought with you and also for a personal thing: i never paid attention to the Lovers card. Never thought about it. And now i had the chance to find my meaning to it. I know some will disagree with me, it's okay as i'm not making a a rule or saying anything new actually. Just developing the Lover's apparent opposition free will/love (because many times Love is considered something 'above' the free will...something that leaves the person with no choice, which for me isn't true).

Well...that's it. The 'end' of my thought...hope some of you find it useful, as i did.
Thanks for reading!

Yuko

thank you...

..for sharing your insights with us. This card has been on my mind for some time now, primarily because I could never really reconcile the Marseille version with the RSW version (to say nothing of other decks displaying an embracing couple...). The Marseille to me speaks clearly of making a choice; the others much less so. But the RSW version now makes much more sense.

And I'll have to agree with you that "Love" (and wasn't the original name of this care "Love") does not preclude free will. Infatuation or obsession might, but not love.

Curious to hear other thoughts on this........

miss_yuko said:

Have you noticed that the Lovers stands both for love and free will/choices in the traditional meanings? I'm not trying to find all possible meanings for this cards, just analyzing those two: love and free will.

Yuko

Click to expand...

Love God, and do what thou will. St. Augustine.

Kwaw

I think and feel we have free will mixed with a little bit of fate as well but it also boils down to trying to make the best choices and owning up to the responsiblities of those choices.

This card is one of the most beautiful, and one of my favorites. It is the greatest synergy between the feminine and the masculine, a bonding of two opposisites. In the Thoth it means less "love" in the romantic sense, rather it is one of the three purely alchemical card, and is a bonding of sulfur and salt (if I remeber correctly). In the Norgan=Greer it shows a couple embracing, surrounded by greenery, suggesting that their love is still a mystery, something to be discovered.

Perhaps, on the free will part, it can be compared to Art, or Judgement, in that it shows a balance of two natures.

In some decks this card is also called crossroads. The card signifies that a path has to be chosen, a road to be taken. And you can't go left and right at the same time. You've to make up your mind and make your decision. The decision may later turn out wrong, but Lovers or Crossroads tells you, that right now you've to make that choice and also live with the consequences.

Hi miss_yuko

I love what you have said, such an interesting insight into The Lovers.

I remember what was said by a medium who I saw a few months ago, which I thought that it is pretty much spot on. When you are in touch with your spiritual guides, they will give you suggestions in what you should do in regards to your future, could be anything. But ultimately, even though they say these things to you as suggestions, it is up to you to decide what to do or what to do about a certain situation. So, I say that there is always some sense of free will, but like what bladeraven said, there is some fate attached to it as well.

In the end, it all boils down to you and what you decide to do!

Bec

I'm glad my brainstorm was useful to many of you...specially you aja, who told me you now understand better the RWS Lovers

It's such a great thing to experience the cards...you see how tarot is a part of the life, not just cards. We live tarot, and when we experience it we understand the meanings better. They make more sense.

Love


Yuko

In 78 degrees of wisdom this is the card of synergy of the previous 5. It is the first card to be extrovert, acting on the combination of the previous. Energy, thoughtfulness, tenderness, stability, and belief combine to make the lovers.

I think "choice" combines free will and love well. We have to make choices to do both and must learn the consequences from them too. I think understanding could be a meaning also, not in the context of the hierophant, but in the context of understanding people individually.

The book also said that once combined with another (in a relationship for example), you are able to be enlightened because you have been combined with your "other half" and it can make you whole.

Interesting rainwolf...i agree with this too. But i don't think the lovers are too stable...i don't know, that's a personal thing when i look at the card. May have to study that more

If you don't mind me asking..."78 degrees of wisdom" is a book? If it is i had never heard of it, i guess we don't have it here in Brazil...but it sounds a very nice one to own.

Thanks for sharing!

Yuko