4 of Pentacles - feelings/thoughts

Hmm, I have to say I do think the four of pentacles is a possessive kind of card. It's fear, yeah, some insecurities and even a feeling of inadequacy, like he feels you can do much better, but it's just worries. You like him and he can't believe his luck. But if not kept in check this can turn into a possessive/jealous kind of relationship. For now though, it's probably just his shyness and lack of confidence.

Good luck!

"Miser" might not be the best word....

NatKat said:

4 Pent to me says "tight" or "miserly" or "lack of generosity". On a purely physical level it can be a lack of energy.

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"Miser" is the most common word used for this card (I am totally guilty of over-using it, myself and I blush at the number of posts you could find where I refer to it as the "miser card" ). While not inaccurate it can, like all such words, give readers either the wrong idea or a limited view. 4/Pents can, after all, also indicate being financially smart; keeping money in a bank rather than being a spend-thrift; or it could be advice to resist the temptation to gamble or sell something of value for less than it's worth.

So, I think the word "miser" might not be the best word for the card, even if it's not inaccurate. Perhaps a better word would be "Thrifty." Which, depending on the circumstances, could be a bad thing (cheap, miserly, tight) or a good thing (frugal, prudent, economical).

I think I'm still confused by this card in this particular context. I am not really focusing on the financial aspect of it, but rather the new relationship/new potential love connection aspect.

Given the context and situation, I think the most logical explanations could be "no feelings" or "shyness". I'm still on the fence which one it is but he definitely exudes some kind of awkwardness. I'm not 100% sure what he is getting at.

Sometimes the 4 of Pentacles in a relationship will mean that he (or maybe sometimes she) isn't going to open up and share anything with you. He's not going to spend money on you. He's not in love with you. He's going to take you over to his house for a movie and some popcorn and sex, but he's not going to take you out to a nice dinner and woo you and he's not going to introduce you to his family. I really dislike seeing this card in certain relationship readings for this reason.

It can sometimes mean a guy who is possessive and doesn't want you to spend time with others---no family, no friends---just stay home and cater to him. But this isn't a favorable thing to a relationship, either, and can indicate he's an abusive partner. In this case, you might think you're in a loving relationship but it eventually becomes a prison.

Here's the way I like to think about the 4 of pents for feelings: he's holding his cards close to his vest.

When this card comes out in a love/relationship reading, I tend to ask what the person is holding back and why. In your case, I'd examine the cards nearby. Take a look at the suits first. If they were wands, then it might have to do with energy, cups could be emotions, swords could be thoughts, etc. If it was a major, then it could be a larger issue or a long-standing one. A court card could be another person or an aspect of himself.

In my readings, the 4 of pents really depends on the surrounding cards. Only then will you know whether it's a good or bad thing for you.

Here are some examples...

If it comes out next to the knight of pents or the 8 of pents, he wants to take it slow and allow things to grow rather than jumping in head-first. 4 of pents + knight of wands could mean he's hiding the fact that he wants to "hit it and quit it." Once you figure out what he's holding back, then you can decide whether it's a good thing or bad thing for you....and what to do about it.

Hope that helps!

Sibylline said:

Here's the way I like to think about the 4 of pents for feelings: he's holding his cards close to his vest.

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I like and agree with this, too.

Remember: These are thoughts/feelings, not personality

TinaV said:

I think I'm still confused by this card in this particular context. I am not really focusing on the financial aspect of it, but rather the new relationship/new potential love connection aspect.

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One thing to keep in mind is that this card indictes his current thoughts/feelings at this early moment. It isn't who he is, or what he will always be. So. He just met you, apparently likes you a lot, and wants more. Is it so amazing that he might *feel* something like "I can't blow this, I have to be careful, not come on too strong, she'll run. And I really don't want to lose this one. So. Don't be too eager, keep it together and do all you can, man, to hold onto this amazing lady..."



What I'm saying is: You have to avoid mistaking this card as indicating his personality (i.e. he's jealous, possessive, hiding things from you) rather than his thoughts/feelings at this moment. Think of it in context: new guy who just met someone he really likes. I think any of us, unless we're almost narcissistically confident, might have initial feelings/thoughts that this good fortune, suddenly coming into our hands, could as quickly be lost. And we'd have feelings/thoughts about how to hold onto it, right?

Point being, I don't think there's any reason to stress over this card, not given it's position. Likely these thoughts/feelings will ease/change as the relationship develops.

Grizabella: Thank you for your feedback! This is still the early stage of what I think might become a relationship. He is coming on quite strong, and he seems to be eager to see me again. I guess I will need to see him again in order for this card to make sense, i.e. judge him as being an abusive partner.

Sibylline: Thank you for your input! The surrounding cards were all wands, so I'm guessing there is a sexual element to it. Since it is still so early, I'm not sure if it is just sexual attraction or wanting to sleep with me.

Thirteen: Thank you so much! It does make sense that this card refers to his current thoughts/feelings and not his personality. I don't see a jealous person in him (yet?). That's why this card confused me. Also, the fact that many interpretations talk about "no feelings" didn't sound true to me either because he texts me a lot asking when I am available to meet him again. What does bother me, however, is that this card seems to refer to keeping your cards close to your chest; yet he is quite straightforward about wanting to see me again. I don't know how I connect this.

With this card he will let you take it as far as you want, he will keep his intentions to himself. There is something holding him back, he is not all in. Perhaps there is a cultural or monetary divide. It could be it is early in the relationship, something to keep an eye on. I don't normally see romance in this card.

"Mine."

TinaV said:

What does bother me, however, is that this card seems to refer to keeping your cards close to your chest; yet he is quite straightforward about wanting to see me again. I don't know how I connect this.

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I totally get that when you meet someone you really like, you can fall into this spiral of wondering "does he like me? What does he think of me? Oh-no! I didn't get an absolutely, undeniably positive card in answer to that question! Does that mean he doesn't like me? Oh-no! Some sites say it means X,Y, and not-good Z! Now I'm really worried...Oh, no! I asked others for help and they're telling me bad meanings and now I can't stop thinking maybe it's bad...oh, no!"

Come on. You know you're over-thinking this, right? And, like I said, if you really consider the position (and the evidence), it's probably not that complicated, and not that hard to decipher. Look at the image. Man holding onto Pents. If I were to give that man one word to indicate what he was thinking/feeling at that moment it would be: "MINE!"

Now. Given this guy's actions towards you, don't you think that might be what he's thinking/feeling about you? People think this way all the time about those they like, even at first meetings. Haven't you ever heard stories where a guy says "The first time I laid eyes on her, I thought, 'That's my future wife...'" Remember also that Pentacles can mean luck. He's probably feeling like he's never in his life been so lucky. And so he calls, texts, and comes on strong to make sure you know, without any question, that he wants you, and you shouldn't walk away from him. He is laying a claim on you like a miner who just stuck gold and is terrified others will steal it away from him.

Is this really so hard to believe? And doesn't this completely clear up the connection between his actions and the card?