8 of cups for what you need in a relationship

rwcarter said:

I'd say that in your relationships in general, you need to be able to walk away from the relationship. Not that you would, but being willing to walk away from it if it's not working gives you a different mindset within the relationship than wanting to stay and work it out regardless does. Being willing to walk away gives you a position of strength where staying no matter what gives you a position of weakness.

Does that make sense?

Rodney

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Yes, it does. It's like always having one foot put the door or never fully unpacking. Like not wanting to give up your independence.

starrystarrynight said:

Maybe you feel there has to be something that your partner possesses, which you don't, that you need to fulfill your own Self. In other words, your partner has to "complete you" in some way. It could be different things with different partners.

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That's interesting. So your partner would be the ying to your yang type of thing?

nisaba said:

You need your own space. You need time alone.

Or you need to break with the past or have them break with the past.

Or, probably more pertinently: you need to learn how to feel happy and fulfilled on your own before starting any relationship.

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I really love the third one! Definitely true! I know so many people that jump from relationship to relationship and they never understand why relationships don't work and it's because they don't know themselves, they've never been alone long enough to love themselves or lnow what they want and truly need in a relationship.

gregory said:

I'd maybe add that there is something missing in it that's draining you; that you need to manage to fill that need elsewhere. In a way - not to try to get EVERYTHING from one relationship. To be able to have - if you like - a life of your own outside it, as well as a relationship.

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This would be my take on it, too. The guy has 8 cups but has gone out to search for more. He's left the comfort of home to seek fulfillment outside of it. Instead of expecting another person to fill all your cups for you, go out and fill them yourself with other things, be it hobbies, friends, or activities you enjoy. Have your own life and your own identity outside of your partner. That will lead to you finding the 9th cup and experiencing the 9 of Cups kind of fulfillment which will, in turn, lead to that 10th and final cup.