Keep your mitts off my cards

Hi Everyone...

The other day I asked my sister/best friend if I could come over and try reading cards for her. I have never done a person to person reading and figured she would be a good place to start.

She said yes, come and do a reading for me and then I'll read yours.

She caught me off guard when she said that. I told her firmly no, you can't use my cards. She looked hurt and confused. (we always share everything..whats hers is mine and whats mine is hers, and thats the way it has always been between us).

I tried to explain to her that if her energy gets into my cards that she will mess them up.

I know she didn't understand. To her it must of sounded like I was telling her she had "germs" or something.

Should I have let her use my cards and then smudge them afterwards? Was I too defensive?

I decided next time I see her I will give her an old deck of mine that I had never used (Radiant RW), sew her a tarot bag and give her a box from the dollar store.

I feel really awful and it's been hanging over me like a dark cloud all day.

What do you do when friends and family ask to use your cards. Is there a better way I could have handled this?

Your suggestions would be appreciated...thanks.

i share my cards because i honestly dont care. But if it bothers you to share your cards because of certain beliefs that you genuinely have then i think that she should understand that. in my opinion, its also selfish of her too not to understand. i understand you all usually share everything but if you want to establish boundaries over certain aspects/belongings of yours, as a friend she should respect that. i personally dont think you did anything wrong but then im not the most sensitive person, either...

keep your mitts off my cards

olivia1 said:

i share my cards because i honestly dont care. But if it bothers you to share your cards because of certain beliefs that you genuinely have then i think that she should understand that. in my opinion, its also selfish of her too not to understand. i understand you all usually share everything but if you want to establish boundaries over certain aspects/belongings of yours, as a friend she should respect that. i personally dont think you did anything wrong but then im not the most sensitive person, either...

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Thanks Olivia1 for letting me know that sharing them is an option and there are no hard and fast rules. I will take a step back and examine how I feel.

I'm a very casual person with my cards. People who don't know much about tarot get confused if I ask them if they want to shuffle. Their mindset is "Can I do that? Will I mess it up? How does this work? Magnets!" so before they can even ask those questions, I answer them, haha.

In your case, I would definitely give her an old deck. Show her some posts on here regarding energies. Inform her, and keep her in the loop. Make sure she knows that while your cards are off limits, the experience and opportunity for her to share this with you isn't. By giving her the cards and paraphernalia, you're letting her know this isn't rejection, just your belief. She will understand.

Personally, this situation wouldn't bother me because I know that they are my cards and they have my energy on them. My friend would have to shuffle them for her reading so she would have already touched them. I would have felt comfortable with my friend but not a stranger/client. Clients usually aren't interested in giving you reading in return. In this instance it wouldn't have bothered me but it is personal preference : )

We all have to draw the line somewhere.

I agree with Olivia; she should respect your boundaries and not take it as a personal affront.

Dawn

KMilliron said:

I'm a very casual person with my cards. People who don't know much about tarot get confused if I ask them if they want to shuffle. Their mindset is "Can I do that? Will I mess it up? How does this work? Magnets!" so before they can even ask those questions, I answer them, haha.

In your case, I would definitely give her an old deck. Show her some posts on here regarding energies. Inform her, and keep her in the loop. Make sure she knows that while your cards are off limits, the experience and opportunity for her to share this with you isn't. By giving her the cards and paraphernalia, you're letting her know this isn't rejection, just your belief. She will understand.

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Thanks Kmilliron..I don't mind people shuffling them, just reading with them bothers me. I'll try and keep her in the loops. Good suggestion.

Elen Sian said:

Personally, this situation wouldn't bother me because I know that they are my cards and they have my energy on them. My friend would have to shuffle them for her reading so she would have already touched them. I would have felt comfortable with my friend but not a stranger/client. Clients usually aren't interested in giving you reading in return. In this instance it wouldn't have bothered me but it is personal preference : )

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Thanks for your feedback Elen Sian...I should just get over it, and let it go.

dawntarot said:

We all have to draw the line somewhere.

I agree with Olivia; she should respect your boundaries and not take it as a personal affront.

Dawn

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Thank you for your view on this subject. I do feel a little better about it.

I'm quite happy to let people handle my cards if they want to so long as they don't bend them, rip them or get them dirty (so the same as any of my other belongings)..

Your cards weren't made in a vacuum so loads of people will have handled them by the time they get to you.

I tried to explain to her that if her energy gets into my cards that she will mess them up

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Could I just ask, why do you think that her energy will 'mess them up'? Is this something that you've found by personal experience or have you read it in a tarot book?
I ask because there is so much nonsense written about tarot - we even have a thread here about tarot superstitions and myths - things like 'you can't buy your own deck' and 'you need to keep your deck wrapped in black silk'.... Unless you have personal experience of someone's messing up your deck, just by touching it, I'd say this is one of those myths.