the other person

Nevertheless, each reader has their own ethics so I don't think there is an absolute RIGHT thing.

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Agree with that. Everything is subjective. We cannot impose our own personal beliefs on others. If others want or do not want to read for 3rd parties, that is a matter of their choice and need/objective.

Grizabella said:

We don't live in a vacuum. We always read about others whether we know it or like it or not.

If you read on "how can I improve my relationship with X," you're kidding yourself if you think you're not reading on a "third party". Your reading is still asking about the third party. Your answer is saying "if you do this, then this will result so you're still reading on what X's thoughts, feelings, etc. are and you're still doing a "third party" reading. You're still reading on what X thinks, feels, will do if the sitter follows the advice of the reading.

Considering that, I do "third party" readings all the time. I'm not ashamed of it. And even though I have a pretty good track record with readings, I'm still not arrogant enough to believe that I'm "going through somebody's underwear drawer" or anything near it. I'm just not always right and neither is any other reader, no matter how good they are or how long they've been reading.

Even if we think we're only reading on a job application, whatever the result of the reading is, we're still saying what the hiring person looking at the job application is going to think say and do. Or if we think we're just reading on somebody's relationship, it doesn't matter if you say, "Well, I won't read on this unless we change the question to 'what can I do to make chances better with this person'?" you're still reading on the third party and what they're going to do provided the sitter does x,y,z. You're still determining what the third party will like or consider good enough.

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YES GRIZ ! Imo,you've put your finger on the pulse of it. There us a line between necessary information and gossip that has to be respected, but I see no harm or lack of respect in asking if the clients feelings are reciprocated. If they are not, it will spare the client money and emotional pain if you can simply say, " he's not that into you. " or whatever. Or yes,he is interested. I just don't see that as invasive, though I understand that some may see it that way.
Our lives are so interwoven with others, where do we draw the line between need to know and privacy? Underwear drawers are off liments,and "how does he feel about me " varies from moment tomoment, but surely " is he interested in me" is a legitimate question, saving everyone involved stress and emotional pain.

mrs ahab said:

Hi, Ive seen it said a few times that you shouldn't read for a person without their permission, meaning that you cant find out whats going on with someone else only the person you are reading for. Yet many spreads include these elements "how the other person feels" what are their true intentions" etc especially in romantic spreads, even spreads that have one set of cards for each person in the relationship. I just wondered what peoples thoughts around this was. This interests me because of course other people are a main feature in our lives and readings. I'm fairly new to reading and to me it seems right to explore our own feelings and the influences and dynamics other people bring to our lives but i would feel less confident to directly interpret another persons feelings or intentions. That did immediately lead me to think of the court cards in which case I would feel ok in summing up a persons personality... am I making sense? Just thinking things over and trying to find my way

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This is really an issue that boils down to our moral values. That is why there are so many different takes on this.

My personal view is that sometimes it is a good positive thing to read on others, sometimes it is negative and should not be done. It's kindof a case by case situation.

For me it all boils down to the reason the person wants to know. Selfish reasons, no I would not do the reading. Altruistic reasons, where the person is asking to help another, yes.

If someone asks about another just out of curiously, to gossip, laugh at them, put them down...I would not accept the reading. I once had someone ask me to read on another so that they could understand them well enough to really hurt them and get back at them. I was just appalled. That was a BIG no. Anything designed to hurt someone I would never touch with a 10 foot pole.

IF, on the other hand, the person wants to understand their partner so that they can stop fighting with them and create peace and more love between them, that for me is a big yes. If they want to know about the other's feelings so that that can know how to make the other happy, again yes.

The way I can see it, if the outcome of the querent's knowing would benefit the third party in some way, that justifies it. I presume that they would prefer to stop fighting with their SO and have a more peaceful loving relationship. If something would come along that could give them that, they would most likely prefer that. Their SOs knowing what is in the reading can give them that. I personally would also presume that they would want to be as happy as they can. So if someone is asking how to make them happy and wants to do it,....it's in their best interest for them to know.

I would not do a reading asking about how to make a third party love someone, or treat them differently or to make them do anything at all. And believe me, I have been asked that in the past.

That makes me uncomfortable. The idea of trying to MAKE someone do something against their will without them knowing it is repulsive to me. I draw the line there. I would not like someone trying to MAKE me do something against my will. We all have free will after all. And we have the right to that. It's a basic human right.

I have literally had people ask me that, how to make someone love them. I turned the reading down flat.

I would also turn down a 3rd party reading asking what another wants in a partner so that person can change themselves to become that. That feels wrong to me personally, having to turn yourself inside out and change to be acceptable to someone. Better to find someone who can love you for just who you are, imo.

So that is my answer. It depends to me on WHY the querent is asking. There are reasons I would read for and ones I would not.

Babs