Deck stereotypes

I have been around for a few weeks already and I noticed that most people have quite a few decks, all of them different. Different themes, different imagery. That is great! It's great to see such diversity! But that also made me think.
Did you ever fall into one of those awkward situations where the querent has stereotypes regarding the decks? Like not taking a reading seriously because of the chosen deck.
For example, you would like to use a fantasy deck that day and the querent was used to see a Marseilles deck (or any other stern looking deck) on previous readings with another reader, so he/she made a lot of questions and made you feel like he/she was doubting the reading or yourself due to some stereotype?
Do you know any other stereotype regarding the decks?

Yes but the opposite, as in, clients expected to see a stern "medieval" style deck, but immediately relax when a nice, pretty, relatable deck comes out, I've had positive reactions to modern decks from people not used to getting readings all the time, especially Druidcraft and my Celtic deck by Julian de Burgh, several regular clients refer to it as the pretty yellow deck.

I've never personally had a querent express any kind of problem with a deck along the lines of what you mention. It's usually quite the opposite, in fact: I used to make it a practice to bring multiple decks to private readings or public events, just so querents could choose the ones that appealed to them the most. The overwhelming percentage of the time, though, they'd either not care in the slightest which deck we used, or they'd get nervous and ask me to do the choosing (a lot of them seemed to share this fear of "doing it wrong" somehow). In my own experience, readers actually seem to care a lot more about the decks used than the querents do (except in cases when the querent is also a reader, too).

The area where I do get the kind of response you mention is with spreads. Specifically, I've had querents who have only ever had readers use the Celtic Cross spread with them in the past, so they end up carrying this sort of programming around in their heads that tells them that if I'm not using the CC to do their reading, I'm the one who's doing it wrong. Like, they feel that the non-CC reading "isn't real Tarot."

Shibiusa said:

Did you ever fall into one of those awkward situations where the querent has stereotypes regarding the decks? Like not taking a reading seriously because of the chosen deck.

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Well, I find that it works slightly differently in my community. When I read for the public, I have on display five decks on my table, all with the SAME Major Arcana card showing, and I ask the client to choose the image they prefer. That way, they choose the deck I work with, and get a reading with a deck whose style suits them. I always have one of my Visconti decks, one of my Marseille decks, a RW clone, an overtly Christian deck and one contemporary deck which could be anything from my collection depending on my whim when I packed my bag in the morning. If they choose most of them, I use that deck without comment. But if they choose the RW deck, I ask why. And every singl3e time, they say "because it's real Tarot, and the others aren't."! So I point out that it was designed in 1909, and this one (pointing to the particular Marseille I'm using at the moment) was designed before Captain Cook "discovered" this country, and that one (pointing to the Visconti) was designed in the 1400s, so if they want age and tradition they could do worse than the Visconti, but all of them work equally well. That usually loosens them up.

People over seventy or so, especially the men, almost invariably go the Marseille.

A little old lady whose daughter came along to translate and whose daughter was probably seventy, insisted on using a 21st century deck with space/science imagery!

No matter what they choose, I don't feel awkward. That's the benefits of having a few very different decks there and letting them choose. If your own methodology results in awkward moments for you (when, say, you have a prim grandmother in front of you and a deck full of nudity or whatever), why not choose a neutral, "respectable" deck with widespread acceptance when reading publicly, and keep the more specialised decks, or those that people seem not to take seriously, for your own enjoyment?

Do you know any other stereotype regarding the decks?

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A proportion of people seem to think that RW artwork is somehow authentic and anything else doesn't work as well. Until you point out how recently it was designed, and how much older some of your other decks are ... <grin>

Anyway, once the reading gets going, clients barely even glance at the cards. They look at YOU: your face, your expressions, your confidence or lack of it, your body-language, your gestures, and whether you refer to the cards and make eye contact with them or not.

I was recently at a bachelorette party, a friend asked me to bring a deck for fun ya know, and we started to talk about tarot. Quickly it turned out that quite a few of the women were quite scared of tarot and thought it told fortunes about death etc. First I discussed my view and that I don't believe everything is predetermined (and of course that I wouldn't read for anyone who didn't want a reading!) etc you know the drill...

Then I pulled out my Mystical Cats Tarot and everyone was smiling, all fear gone. So that was definitely a time when the deck choice was perfect... It's really not a deck I'd usually pull out, but yeah, perfect for this crowd! (They loved the readings )

What happened with me is what I mentioned My Mystic Faerie deck has a great connection with me. It's the one I use regularly for readings (since I'm still studying my Angel Tarot and I'm still not comfortable with the readings where I use it). But I can see it's not taken seriously. Fairies and cute stuff seem to be perceived as non-real tarot around here (where I live). The tarot readers on tv here use Marseilles and medieval looking tarot, so that's what people believe to be tarot. Anything else that is not portrayed like that is like "make believe" or "pretending to play tarot".

same as nisaba, for f2f readings i usually have a bunch of different style decks with me and let people choose. i really am not a big fan of RWS but always have one with me that's pretty close (the herbal tarot, or the morgan greer one for example.)

to me the choosing of the deck is part of the reading. i find people can get quite entranced just by the choosing, which is a nice start.

when i do online readings here i like to intuit what deck to use. in the online readings with the public that i just started, there was an interesting situation on the weekend where i had posted a bunch of decks online but the sitter just wasn't that interested in them. i asked her what kind of art she liked and then it was immediately obvious to me which deck to use. again, it became an integral part of the reading because there was an interesting discrepancy between the feel of the deck and the overt nature of the question. this became a useful part of our conversation.

It's great to see the community here is so reasonable! Letting people choose the deck is a good way to prevent these awkward moments, indeed!

Today I went through another deck stereotype which I really don't agree with. A friend of my mom's best friend is a reader and I showed her I was learning tarot as well. I showed her a few pictures of my recent readings with them, since I didn't have the decks with me. She looked at the imagery and she was like "I don't know this. This isn't real tarot. This is for kids. You should learn with the Marseilles deck".
Even though Marseilles can be a classic, it doesn't mean someone should start learning with it. You can pick whatever you want to start with or to continue your journey of learning with tarot. I believe it's a matter of connecting with the deck (or decks!) and it doesn't matter if you're a newcomer or a veteran... But that's my opinion.

I will generally offer the decks I'm favoring at the time and let the querent choose. (I like Nisaba's idea of showing the same cards on top.) You usually can't go wrong with a familiar, user-friendly deck like the RWS or an agreeable clone. But I normally reserve the Thoth and its clones for close friends and family. Regarding the Marseille, I'm not comfortable enough with the pips to read for others with it yet, but I'm getting there. With Lenormand, however, they get what I give 'em.