Doing readings for friends of friends.

feminine_mystique

Hi everyone. Lately I have been getting emails from friends of friends in regards to my tarot readings. Now I haven't been charging since I only really do it for fun however some of these people I feel are just taking advantage of the fact that I am doing this for free. Examples would be I do one reading.. don't hear back from them then the next week they will want another reading and another etc.. they don't offer to pay but it does take a lof of my free time to do their readings for nothing in exchange.

I still don't feel comfortable charging them since, again, I am still learning myself but not sure what I can do to stop these "querents" who are somehow, I feel abusing their power that I am doing this for nothing.

rwcarter

People can only take advantage of you if you let them. Before you do the next reading for any of them, explain what you need back from them and tell them if you don't get it, you won't read for them again. And then stick to that. When the first person doesn't believe you and you refuse to read for that person again, the others will get the message.

Tanga

As Rodney said - put your foot down! Lol.
Why are you letting them use you? (fear of rejection? - well if they're really your friends - they wouldn't be using you).

And generally repeatedly doing a reading every week for the same person, is not an advisable practice.
Usually you tell them to say - "come back in 3 months" when life has had a chance to unfold and they've had time to do their own work on any issues that came up in the reading.

Le Fanu

Tanga said:
Usually you tell them to say - "come back in 3 months" when life has had a chance to unfold and they've had time to do their own work on any issues that came up in the reading.

But they'll be wanting readings on other issues, have other questions. That's usually the case.

Just don't reply. They're not even friends. Just friends of friends. I have a friend who has set up a few readings with her friends with me over time and they all brought a little something. I didn't ask. It was just their sense of common courtesy!

Tanga

Le Fanu said:
But they'll be wanting readings on other issues, have other questions. That's usually the case...

True - but repeatedly?

They can bring you cake or pay for your next dinner or movie - if you can't resist feminine_mystique.

Dogs&Coffee

This happened at my store a lot, friends would bring their friends in and expect the friends and family discount for these people that are complete strangers to me that are only there for cheap stuff... I finally had to put my foot down. There were tears and I'm down a friend, but I'm no longer being taken advantage of.

Moral of the story: Stand up for yourself. It might get messy, but real friends wouldn't put you in that situation in the first place.

Disa

Dogs&Coffee said:
real friends wouldn't put you in that situation in the first place.

This is true. Ask for their paypal address and send them an invoice. It will stop, I promise.

In the beginning I did readings for free for friends and family. Many of them wanted to pay, and some still do.I told them they could write a testimonial for me, or refer friends to me who would pay. It worked for most people. One person insisted on sending everyone she knew to me, for free. Friends of friends are not read for free. I sent a paypal invoice to the friend. She never referred anyone to me again.

Dogs&Coffee

Disa said:
This is true. Ask for their paypal address and send them an invoice. It will stop, I promise.

In the beginning I did readings for free for friends and family. Many of them wanted to pay, and some still do.I told them they could write a testimonial for me, or refer friends to me who would pay. It worked for most people. One person insisted on sending everyone she knew to me, for free. Friends of friends are not read for free. I sent a paypal invoice to the friend. She never referred anyone to me again.

Lol! I second the invoice thing. Or "sure but if you could write me a testimonial first that would be amazing. I need it to be at least a couple of paragraphs long. I'll do your reading after that."

People like that hate homework.

feminine_mystique

rwcarter said:
People can only take advantage of you if you let them. Before you do the next reading for any of them, explain what you need back from them and tell them if you don't get it, you won't read for them again. And then stick to that. When the first person doesn't believe you and you refuse to read for that person again, the others will get the message.

I definitely think putting my foot down is something I need to learn to do. I'm not very good at takng control and I might start and feel like I can but then let others take over which is not what I wany but I know I don't have a choice here. I have been interested in setting up an account or small business for it but always feel like they won't pay not that it's not free.

feminine_mystique

Tanga said:
As Rodney said - put your foot down! Lol.
Why are you letting them use you? (fear of rejection? - well if they're really your friends - they wouldn't be using you).

And generally repeatedly doing a reading every week for the same person, is not an advisable practice.
Usually you tell them to say - "come back in 3 months" when life has had a chance to unfold and they've had time to do their own work on any issues that came up in the reading.

I've been told that as well that you should wait until life has taken its toll to see what happens. I have done a reading to someone who never replied back with feedback and then she emailed me again saying she wanted another reading because of what I said came true. Which is great but now she won't stop bugging me lol.