Asking questions you don’t want to know the answer to

Tanga

CosmicTarot said:
I agree, which I discussed briefly above. The reader is of great importance. But how do you know that you found the right one that actually will take the time to care of your question accordingly? It's not always easy to know.

Ofcourse - nothing can ever be perfect. Sometimes as human beings we just get it wrong.
And have to clean up and move on. Lol

As for being sure of flexible and careful reader who will take these things into consideration - like any other arena in life - you don't know unless they come recommended as such - right?

CosmicTarot said:
Your rules are very good. I think it's super to have your own framework for what you will and will not do. Personally, I look at the questions separately and try to find some balance. But some questions I'm not overly happy to answer or pull for, even love spreads sometimes. Depends upon the situation.

Yup - I will still sometimes look at these questions - as I said - Depends how and why they're asking...
And hence I may offer to re-phrase their question "more advantageously" to them.

I hate love questions - all those "feeling" and "what is he thinking" questions.
IMO - go and ask them yourself would be more fruitful. I'm not up for "mind reading" - I think in the long run that's not empowerment in the relationship. I can offer options of what may be in progress and attempt to shine light on the upset/or whatever that may help them move on from being stuck in their fear zone.

CosmicTarot said:
But I'm very invested in the outcome when I read for others too, but it's a little easier to see the spread objectively.

So are we all.
The trick is to get practiced at walking the line of detachment from your sitters, so you still hold all your compassion, but don't get so drawn in to their story, that you are unable to be helpful and/or go away carrying their baggage yourself.
It's the same balance for therapy (as I'm a therapist). - 'where is the line where you end and your client/sitter begins?...' - it can be as subtle as the connections between two neurons - but the line should be there if you want to operate within a healthy relationship.

magicjack

I think I know what you mean but I'm not sure. You want to ask a question but you only want to hear the answer that you want. I think a lot of people I read for feel this way. They all want to be lucky and get all the nice cards. The cards that reenforces what they want. (I don't read a lot for myself). It's like that old saying, be careful what you ask for. When the cards are good people tend to believe them. When they are negative people don't want to believe them. Sometimes it is difficult to have the idea that just maybe the cards will not agree with what you want them to say. I think that is why some refuse to even get a card reading. Or want one. On NBC the other day they asked people if they wanted to know Thier future. It was something like 88% didn't want to know. I think that was kind of strange considering g if you know what can happen you may be able to avoid it. (If it's something you don't want).

CosmicTarot

Ebony said:
I definitely believe it's important to not learn what you aren't prepared to handle. I used to be of the mind that I should know everything and that the more I knew, the better things would get. The problem is it just doesn't work like that. The more you know that you don't truly know how to handle, the more frazzled you become. It's like your mind is trying to comprehend so many new things about the world, a person, a situation, etc. at once that it all just goes to hell. These days I am a bit less interested in the idea of some sort of "absolute" external truth, and more okay with the idea of blocking out things I am not ready to know or able to handle.

While that is my intention, it can be dangerous to use the cards as sometimes things slip through that I don't want to know. For instance, I recently was trying out an interesting spread that was rather open-ended, and I said that I don't mind hearing an answer, provided it isn't about XYZ. I had a feeling as I was laying out the cards, the sense that it was going to be about that thing I just told the cards I didn't want to hear about - and it was. -_-

Sometimes cards also just pop out with some message I don't want to hear, so if I'm feeling very disinterested in hearing something I don't want to hear I just don't flip them over when they do that, but instead just put them back in the deck.

I actually just got the sense maybe a half hour ago that a deck was going to tell me something, so I just put that thing away as I don't want to hear it right now.

It is important to protect your mind from the things you aren't ready to know.

Sent from my iPad using Tapatalk

I’m so with you on this, below

I used to be of the mind that I should know everything and that the more I knew, the better things would get. The problem is it just doesn't work like that. The more you know that you don't truly know how to handle, the more frazzled you become.

I remember asking who’d be the next person to enter my life in a romantic context and got High Priestess (2 of Cups bottom of the deck), with the motivation ”With the High Priestess, that’s supposed to be a secret right now”. That’s the best answer I’ve ever gotten. It felt like a relief. Also, like a little lesson. Why do I have to know that? I really don’t. I should just go with the flow and see where life takes me.

I think you have so many good points in your post: "It is important to protect your mind from the things you aren't ready to know.” I think so too. One should really be careful with the information you’re striving after, because it can end up being destructive instead.

Yeah, as said, a really good and interesting post! Thanks for sharing! I like the way you handle the unwanted info. I’m going to start following that advice from here on.

Thank you!

Mystica7

That's a big problem for me when giving readings. People want to hear particular answers. The most possible outcome -or state of the affairs- though may well be totally against their expectations.

Reading the cards is about courage for me. I personally don't ask any question which I don't want to know the real answer to; or if I am unable to handle it... When enquiring others' feelings for me especially, I need to always detach myself from the equation.

nisaba

The answer is simple

This thread is entitled: "Asking questions you don’t want to know the answer to".

Don't.

(Why would you waste the time and energy?)

Ebony

CosmicTarot said:
I’m so with you on this, below

I remember asking who’d be the next person to enter my life in a romantic context and got High Priestess (2 of Cups bottom of the deck), with the motivation ”With the High Priestess, that’s supposed to be a secret right now”. That’s the best answer I’ve ever gotten. It felt like a relief. Also, like a little lesson. Why do I have to know that? I really don’t. I should just go with the flow and see where life takes me.

I think you have so many good points in your post: "It is important to protect your mind from the things you aren't ready to know.” I think so too. One should really be careful with the information you’re striving after, because it can end up being destructive instead.

Yeah, as said, a really good and interesting post! Thanks for sharing! I like the way you handle the unwanted info. I’m going to start following that advice from here on.

Thank you!

I'm glad that makes sense to you. I think for many it is hard to see how knowledge can be dangerous, but the fact is we each have developed a character with certain strengths and weaknesses. When we learn of or experience things before we are ready for them it can be very damaging to us. Being unable to process the new experiences or information leaves us vulnerable to additional damage. We can't really control if life just throws those things our way, but we sure don't need to actively look for what we aren't ready to know!

Asking questions you don’t want to know the answer to

Tanga

magicjack

CosmicTarot

Mystica7

nisaba

Ebony