Budding relationship with a Scorpio woman

csdude

I thought that I was in a budding relationship, anyway, but this has been THE most confusing! I'm hoping you guys might be able to help me understand this a little better.

I'm a man, born on August 24 so I'm a Leo/Virgo cusp. She was born on November 12 so she's a Scorpio, but near the end of the sign.

Back in December, she contacted me unexpectedly, and we started talking. We hit it off quickly, and she asked me on a date. We made plans for the next week, and talked every day after, for hours on end. She was pretty flirty, talking about things like kissing and such.

But then the day came, and she totally disappeared. She wouldn't reply to my messages or texts, so she more or less just stood me up.

The next day, she sent me a message to apologize (no excuse, though), and rescheduled. But this time, she hardly spoke to me all week, and inevitably stood me up again. Then rescheduled, but was even colder that week. And stood me up again.

By that point, I was pretty angry and done. She SAID that she still liked me and was interested, but she certainly didn't act like it. So I stopped replying and forgot about her.

Time passes...

On March 30, she contacted me again, unexpectedly. We hadn't spoken in 2 1/2 months, and I hadn't seen her in 3 months. And honestly, I'd totally forgotten about her.

Again, though, we hit it off quickly, and started talking online for hours. She still seemed pretty flirty, and was very receptive to MY flirting.

After the first week, though, the conversations dropped down to almost nothing. Some days were hot, but sometimes she would go days between talking to me. We would be going back and forth, then I would send a message with no reply... and she would send a message that says "hey" 3 or 4 days later.

She asked me to come see her at work last Tuesday, which I did. She was very giggly and excited to see me, kept touching my shoulders, and at one point said that I was making her nervous. So this seemed all very positive.

But then, we had plans for Friday morning (I was going to give her a ride to the DMV, then spend the day together). Thursday night, I sent a message asking where and when I should pick her up, which she read but didn't reply. Friday morning, she finally replied and simply said, "Hey I'm not going today".

I replied and asked if everything was OK, but she hasn't replied.

Now, I've never dated a Scorpio before, so I can't tell if these are common traits to the sign, or what.

Is it "normal" for a Scorpio to go from hot to cold for no reason, in a matter of minutes? Are they notoriously kind of flaky, without explanation?

Tarot readings seem positive (usually), and a recurring theme is "patience". But I don't want to be TOO patient for a woman that's lost interest.
 

Minderwiz

Oddly enough the other week I was looking into the traditional meaning of Scorpio in a totally different context. A fifteenth century writer accused Richard III of being born under Scorpio and therefore being, to use a modern phrase, two faced. Indeed one of the earliest texts says that those born under the consellation of the Scorpio can be quite treachrous and can have a tendency to abandon or betray people.

Now that claim was made in the context that signs were always used up till the twentieth century, personality characteristics were related to rising signs (the sign of your Ascendant) not Sun signs (Richard III was a Libra in modern speak).

Classifying people by Sun signs is an extremely crude approach and generally doesn't work beyond the superficial. Ascendants work a little better but are still only one piece of the jigsaw, though it is the most important piece. The placement of other planets, especially Moon and Sun needs to be considered and unless you happen to have her time, date and place of birth, thouse could be varied (apart from the Sun, which is in the vicinity of the same degree on the same day and month each year.

In situations like this, the best approach is to ask a horary question - see the horary questions thread - along the lines od Does she really like me but from a birthday, it's not possible to give even a working answer.

Incidentally there's evidence that Richard III wasn't two faced and in fact there's no record of what his rising sign was.
 

csdude

That's really very interesting about Richard III! :)

I'm really more of a Tarot guy, and on Thursday night I did a 3-card spread for Friday that was kind of odd:

Q: What will be the romantic outcome for today between [the girl] and me?

5 of Swords (defeat)
2 of Hearts (romance)
Hermit

* Shadow card
6 of Swords (change of direction, new solutions to old problems)

I took that to mean that I'm going to feel like giving up, and be alone that day (both of which were accurate), but that she really does like me. So I guess I'm not really asking if she likes me, just whether this whole flakiness / hot-and-cold thing is common to Scorpios.
 

Chanah

It's really not. You have just as much chance of meeting a 'flaky' Aries, Taurus, Sagittarius, take your pick. Or a steady Scorpio, or Virgo, or Aquarius, or Libra. That probably doesn't make you feel better, but it's not that easy to classify people.

Sun signs aren't a good descriptor of personality.
 

lightsofblue

*****
 

csdude

Thanks, all.

I wish I DID know her heart a little better, but she's really pretty tight-lipped about emotions and such. We talked for about 2 months before, and for over a month this time, but all of our conversations have been light and, for lack of a better word, shallow. I can't tell if she's being extremely guarded, if she's just not that in to me, or if she's really just a shallow person.

I know I'm not in a Tarot board, so I'll limit my discussion here on the cards. I can say, though, that in previous readings, the constant theme is the Ace of Hearts, Queen of Hearts, and Temperance. The reading I posted earlier was supposed to just be for that day.
 

Amanda

Personology

Here is some lightweight stuff; I figured the mention of the exact birth month and day was my cue to pull this book out for you.

It's The Secret Language of Birthdays: Your Complete Personology Guide for Each Day of the Year by Gary Goldschneider & Joost Elffers.

From the cover:
The 366 personality profiles in The Secret Language of Birthdays are based on a combination of astrology, numerology, the tarot, and Gary Goldschneider's many years of observation of more than 14,000 people, including contemporary and historical figures. Goldschneider's theory of "personology" proposes that all of life is cyclical: people born on the same day occupy the same point in the year's cycle and thus share certain characteristics.
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The Novermber Twelfth Personality:
THE DAY OF SENSUAL CHARISMA

Sensuality and magnetic attraction are central themes in the lives of November 12 people: sensuality expressed in their own physical makeup or the works they are involved in producing; magnetism demonstrated in family life, secret love relationships, or in their career or social circle.

Exceptional or highly talented November 12 people must be extremely careful about misusing ego drives. Their capacity to work "miracles" in everyday situations wins them adulation, and in some cases, places them in a godlike position in their admirers' eyes. Such worship can foster sociopathic tendencies in those born on this day. On the other hand, morally evolved November 12 people of all abilities can use their powers in the service of bringing beauty and enlightenment to those around them. Most November 12 people have an integrity and devotion to their work that imbues their persona with a singular grace. Those November 12 people with public careers may become a highly positive political force.

The conflict between golden qualities, on the one hand, and dark characteristics, on the other, is often at work in November 12 people, and both sides may in fact be entwined through their lives. However, it is also possible that a November 12 person will show a marked decay from a promising golden youth to a dark adulthood. Those born on this day face a great personal challenge in getting a handle on their wilder energies, which involves knowing themselves better and perhaps dedicating themselves to a worthwhile cause of some kind.

The creation or appreciation of beauty in all its forms is the overriding interest of November 12 people, whether it be found in beautiful children art, home environment, a bodily form or just outright sensuality. However, behind this impulse toward the beautiful is something even more basic, and that is the force of magnetic attraction itself which so irresistibly propels a November 12 person along. It is in the red-hot cubicle of their soul that impersonal dark forces rework and mold sensuous images which get projected out on the world and become at once their heaven and their hell.

Life, therefore, is not always easy for November 12 people. Tragedy and misfortune can unaccountably plague them between days, weeks or even years of ecstatic happiness and thrilling experiences. Again, the key to their balancing their lives and getting a grip on their powers is self-knowledge. If they can only appreciate how fully what materializes around them is a product of their own character, own up to moral responsibilities and take their lives in hand in an ethical fashion, they will be able to cope with negative energies which seem to invariably come their way. If not, they will be largely at the mercy of forces beyond their control.

NUMBERS AND PLANETS

Those born on the 12th of the month are ruled by the number 3 (1+2=3), and by the expansive planet Jupiter. Those ruled by the number 3 seek to rise to the highest positions in their particular sphere. They also tend to be dictatorial, something those born on November 12 should be aware of. Those ruled by the number 3 value their independence, so some November 12 people may feel the need to abandon the security of a steady job in order to freelance or start their own business. Jupiterian influences encourage November 12 people to better themselves and their position, but the influence of Pluto (Scorpio's ruler) may unfortunately create cravings for money, sex and power.

TAROT

The 12th card of the Major Arcana is The Hanged Man, who dangles by his foot in a head-down position. Though such a position seems helpless, The Hanged Man is nevertheless spiritually powerful and deeply thoughtful. The positive attributes of this card are recognizing limitations and overcoming them, as well as simply being human; negative aspects are spiritual myopia and restrictedness.

HEALTH

November 12 people must be careful about expressing as well as attracting negative energy. The magnetic qualities of those born on this day are so strong that they can pull in all sorts of unwanted influences, thereby adversely affecting their health. Also, their psychological projections are powerful and when materialized in the world can return to haunt them. The good state of their health is directly proportional to their capacity for exercising willpower over harmful behavior and habits. All drugs, particularly those with addictive properties, should be viewed with caution. November 12 people should beware of cults, since the fervor written into their ideology is generally not a positive influence. Religion and prayer, however, may assume great importance for those born on this day and benefit their health greatly.

ADVICE

Concentrate on strengthening your personal morality. Cultivate the simple values of kindness and consideration toward others. Resolve your inner struggles. Use self-knowledge to buttress your will.
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DiamondsRForever

Hmm

You could potentially be really compatible with this sun sign combination, however, you would need to provide the entire chart.

My mother is a Scorpio born a few days after your lady friend and there are definitely manipulative tendencies. Actually, I've seen manipulative tendencies with all of the Scorpios I've known. Look up the old wives' tale of the Swan and the Scorpion. It will give you a pretty clear indication of what you are dealing with. Sometimes they manipulate for gain, sometimes just for fun.

Good luck!
 

csdude

DiamondsRForever said:
You could potentially be really compatible with this sun sign combination, however, you would need to provide the entire chart.
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This is new to me, so forgive me. When you say "the entire chart", what, exactly, do you mean? I can probably provide anything, I'm just not sure what's relevant :)

FWIW, she and I are still talking, and I think we've had more "hot" days than "cold". I'm about 70% sure that she really likes me.


My mother is a Scorpio born a few days after your lady friend and there are definitely manipulative tendencies. Actually, I've seen manipulative tendencies with all of the Scorpios I've known. Look up the old wives' tale of the Swan and the Scorpion. It will give you a pretty clear indication of what you are dealing with. Sometimes they manipulate for gain, sometimes just for fun.

Good luck!
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It's actually pretty funny that you said this when you did. I hadn't logged on since my last post (about 2 weeks ago), and just happened to log on 5 hours after you posted this! Fate? :-O

It's interesting, though, because she dropped a pretty big bomb on me earlier this week, and I've been trying to decide whether she's being honest or if she's testing me.

** Moderators, I'm not sure if this next part is allowed, so I'll totally understand if you delete it **

We were having a conversation about spicy food (which we both love), and I mentioned that studies show that people that eat spicy food tend to have higher sex drives. She replied, "I don't, I hate sex".

I asked if she was serious, and she said that sex makes her physically nauseous; especially after having her child.

Now, that seemed pretty sincere, except that she did something similar when I mentioned my dog. I said that I could never date a girl that doesn't like animals, and she replied that she hated dogs. I told her that I couldn't believe that, and after a few minutes she confessed that she was lying, and that she has a rescued dog of her own that she loves.

So now I can't decide whether the "I hate sex" comment was real, or a test to see if my interest was only physical.
 

DiamondsRForever

You would have to PM me both of your birth dates and times, along with location of birth. :) There are many planets that make up a birth chart that will give details about love, sex, tension, career, communication, etc etc. :) If we find your whole chart, we can see how she relates to you.

Her saying that she "hates sex" is a flat out lie. Scorpios are ruled by the gonads (seriously). If you are a Virgo, you are ruled by the digestive tract. It sounds like maybe she is having some complications with her reproductive system. We can't say that she may have an STD, but it is possible. Something is blocking her from sex, but I highly doubt she "hates sex."

She seems a bit mentally unstable. You are going to have to figure out ways to go with the flow and just accept that the conversation/vibes might not always be what you'd like for them to be. Weigh out the pros and cons. Is this really what you want? As Virgos, we sometimes believe that we can change people. What if she never changes?

Hope this helped! xx :)
 
September: Jupiter opposition, new moon.. Etc Moon compatibility in synastry, is it really that important?