When people push you to do readings

Adriana

I have 3 people in my life that are going through difficult times and of course I want to help them. In any way possible. And one way have been doing readings or interpreting cards for them. But when you are getting pushed to do several readings every day it gets very draining. How do you deal with this?
So I say "I really want to help you, but I get tired from doing readings that much and also all those readings won't help you" to which I get replies that I do help, it's needed so much and that I don't consider how hard it is for them. Yeah, I have empathy but I have limits too..

Also one night I was visiting one of those people and had done some readings and some friends of theirs came to visit. And the person I've read for says I do tarot and tgat the friends can ask me anything. Without asking me first. So I had to say I'm not that good at it (which is true) and tgat I was tired then. So then I just seemed rude..
I just had to put my foot down still but it's pretty painful to hear that I don't help them and reject them..
 

DownUnderNZer

Do not be anyone's doormat and set boundaries.

Am not sure why you feel guilty or upset over them saying things like "you are not helpful" or "are rejecting them".

Put your head up, straighten your shoulders, and stop being everyone's agony aunt. You are only human, just one person, and can only give so much of yourself.

Life is too short to take on everyone else's crap, so do yourself a favor and don't.


DND :)



I have 3 people in my life that are going through difficult times and of course I want to help them. In any way possible. And one way have been doing readings or interpreting cards for them. But when you are getting pushed to do several readings every day it gets very draining. How do you deal with this?
So I say "I really want to help you, but I get tired from doing readings that much and also all those readings won't help you" to which I get replies that I do help, it's needed so much and that I don't consider how hard it is for them. Yeah, I have empathy but I have limits too..

Also one night I was visiting one of those people and had done some readings and some friends of theirs came to visit. And the person I've read for says I do tarot and tgat the friends can ask me anything. Without asking me first. So I had to say I'm not that good at it (which is true) and tgat I was tired then. So then I just seemed rude..
I just had to put my foot down still but it's pretty painful to hear that I don't help them and reject them..
 

Ace

DUNZer has it right. Maintain your boundaries or you will go nuts. Be (as a coworker taught me) t relentlessly polite. Say no, quietly, calming, and repeatedly. It is a MUST for you to maintain your sanity.


barb
 

celticnoodle

Agree with what was posted. Its not easy--but your friends aren't really being good friends to you, to put you in this position and to treat you in this way. Stay strong and set boundaries!
 

page of ghosts

You're not rude when you set your boundaries, not at all. Boundaries are normal and healthy! I understand that you want to be there for your friends so if you're comfortable you could offer to do other, more practical things to help them if you're able to and want to. And also I don't think it's very helpful to have readings done that intensely, you don't give it time to unfold or put what you have learned into action. Especially not if they're asking about the same thing every time. So you could also tell them that, if that is the case. Good luck!
 

G6

You're not rude when you set your boundaries, not at all. Boundaries are normal and healthy! I understand that you want to be there for your friends so if you're comfortable you could offer to do other, more practical things to help them if you're able to and want to. And also I don't think it's very helpful to have readings done that intensely, you don't give it time to unfold or put what you have learned into action. Especially not if they're asking about the same thing every time. So you could also tell them that, if that is the case. Good luck!

Everything said above is all good advice, so with that in mind I would write out some rules (boundaries) for giving friends a reading.

A good one is listed here by POG. For example, I only do readings on the same topic once a month or I only do readings for friends quarterly/yearly or whatever. Another good one is I've taken a break from tarot reading if you don't want to do it at all. You get the idea.

Your friends won't say hurtful things to you if you set boundaries and enforce them from the beginning.
 

barefootlife

N'thing that setting boundaries isn't rude, it's necessary. This person may be in a bad place but they're still taking advantage of you. Three readings a day is utterly unnecessary, and volunteering your services for free is rude. It just is.

Don't feel bad about taking care of yourself.
 

magicjack

Tell them the spirits aren't talking today.
 

Denever

Yes to all the posts about boundaries. Maybe there's a gentle way to bring the conversation back to what this is doing to you: "I want so much to be helpful but I've told you how draining it is to do all these readings and I don't feel you're hearing me. That makes me feel you don't care about my well-being, which hurts my feelings. How can we work this out so you don't feel I'm abandoning you and I don't feel you're --" ... well, maybe there's a nice way to say "sucking me dry" but I can't quite come up with one at the moment. Tone counts for a lot.

It's easy for anyone to get self-absorbed when they're going through a rough patch, but I wouldn't let someone cast me as the meanie because I can't and won't give them whatever they want whenever they want it.