Marriage Proposal Spread

Are you a woman who has been dating a man for weeks, months, years, decades, etc. and he still hasn't popped the question? Are you wondering what the holdup is all about? Here's a spread that hopefully will give you some insight.


1-His thoughts about marriage in general
2-His thoughts about being married to you specifically
3-What he'd rather be doing with his life instead of being married
4-Practical concerns preventing him from proposing
5-What he's afraid of losing if he gets married
6-What he's afraid of gaining if he gets married
7-What, exactly, is he waiting for?
8-Will he ever ask?
9-What kind of husband he would make (something to think about!)

The layout is shaped like a wedding cake (more or less).

........9.......
.....7....8.....
...4...5...6...
...1...2...3...


And if he does ask........Congratulations!

Happy Valentine's Day!

This is amusing, but I know it's going to have some real benefit to many people (men too) who have put their lives on hold out of that wonderful/terrible thing called Hope. I think the spread will be far more useful to many newbies than "will he/when will he propose?", *lay down three cards/no positions*, and then try to wrangle some sort of "yes/soon" out of the resulting cards.

Just a note on #3--the card in this position might be very confusing or muddled, reflecting the non-marryer's own internal lack of clarity on the matter. They may not know what they'd rather be doing with their life; they may not have a clear idea of what their place is in the world. They may just know deep down that it's not being married.

So it's really a position that the reader shouldn't be quick to say, "Whaaa? S/he wants to be an acolyte or mystic at a far-off religious hermitage? Then why the heck is he keeping me in limbo here?" They might not be doing it on purpose; they might not know what would make them more fulfilled than the unsatisfactory life they now lead.

ETA : As well, the positions #3, 5, and 6 assume that the person, deep down, doesn't want to be married. Maybe, deep down, they do but something else holds them back. It is certainly an interesting position but could be problematic for all these reasons.

I also think that, although the positions as is are useful and although the spread doesn't need to be longer, it is missing some notable parallels for the reader. Things like:

1- My thoughts about marriage in general
2- Where those thoughts come from
3- What I could do with my life if I wasn't married or in a constant state of wishing to be
4- Practical concerns preventing me from taking my life into my own hands
5- What I'm afraid of losing if I don't get married
6- What I'm afraid of gaining if I don't get married
7- What, exactly, am I waiting around for?
8- What would I have to change or work on in order to make my dream happen for me?
9- At this stage, right now, what kind of partner would I make?
10- How can I be a better person as I stand now?


Thanks for the thought-provoking spread.

.

Hi Chiriku. I'm glad you found the spread amusing. I was hoping it would be.

You mentioned that parallels were missing for the reader, questions like "My thoughts about marriage in general," etc. Well, that was intentional. The spread is meant to focus on the other person. I'm figuring that the reader already knows what her own thoughts on marriage are.

Some questions in my spread you felt might not be so clear. Maybe they aren't the best, but I think they're still worth asking, just to see what comes up. They cover real potential issues.

But I do like the questions that you suggested. There are some idealistic women, hanging on to relationships for years without having them go anywhere, who could benefit from the self-reflective questions you came up with. They make a good spread on their own.

Let's consider it like this:

.........10........
.......8....9......
.....5...6...7.....
...1...2...3...4...

Chiriku said:

1- My thoughts about marriage in general
2- Where those thoughts come from
3- What I could do with my life if I wasn't married or in a constant state of wishing to be
4- Practical concerns preventing me from taking my life into my own hands
5- What I'm afraid of losing if I don't get married
6- What I'm afraid of gaining if I don't get married
7- What, exactly, am I waiting around for?
8- What would I have to change or work on in order to make my dream happen for me?
9- At this stage, right now, what kind of partner would I make?
10- How can I be a better person as I stand now?

Click to expand...

And the best part is that it makes a better-looking wedding cake than mine.