Doing readings for friends of friends.

feminine_mystique

But they'll be wanting readings on other issues, have other questions. That's usually the case.

Just don't reply. They're not even friends. Just friends of friends. I have a friend who has set up a few readings with her friends with me over time and they all brought a little something. I didn't ask. It was just their sense of common courtesy!
I feel bad not replying and I dont want to set up a bad rapport for myself if I want to take this further.. but I agree that I need to put my foot down. It does annoy me that they don't even bother to really say anything they just say "i want the free reading".. grr. It boils me. Lol.
 

feminine_mystique

True - but repeatedly?

They can bring you cake or pay for your next dinner or movie - if you can't resist feminine_mystique. :)
If I could get paid in cake that would be awesome. But I like money itself better.
 

gregory

Set boundaries. You HAVE to.

Meanwhile - what do they do for a living ? Ask them for favours.

"Hey, you're a CA - would you do my tax return for a reading ?"
"Hey, you do tats/nails/hair - how about a freebie if you want a reading from me ?"

Sure it isn't your job - but it's the same demand for your time - which is worth money, whether you choose to charge or not. And if you do start to charge - so what if they don't ask any more. Others will.
 

feminine_mystique

This happened at my store a lot, friends would bring their friends in and expect the friends and family discount for these people that are complete strangers to me that are only there for cheap stuff... I finally had to put my foot down. There were tears and I'm down a friend, but I'm no longer being taken advantage of.

Moral of the story: Stand up for yourself. It might get messy, but real friends wouldn't put you in that situation in the first place.
I don't care losing friends. I learnt that lesson a long time ago so I guess it's annoying.. and I do ask for feedback which is pretty easy enough but they just take it and leave.. which makes me feel very used since i put so much work into my readings..
 

feminine_mystique

This is true. Ask for their paypal address and send them an invoice. It will stop, I promise.

In the beginning I did readings for free for friends and family. Many of them wanted to pay, and some still do.I told them they could write a testimonial for me, or refer friends to me who would pay. It worked for most people. One person insisted on sending everyone she knew to me, for free. Friends of friends are not read for free. I sent a paypal invoice to the friend. She never referred anyone to me again.
Thank you.

I am actually interested in setting this up as a small business just because I have received so many more emails now that i feel is only fair to charge.. for my sake as well.. like i mentioned before i take a lot of card into this craft I don't want to feel that it's just a art you can disrespect.
 

page of ghosts

I feel your pain, feminine_mystique. I've never been good with setting my foot down or demand people respect my boundaries in general (though I'm aware of it now so I can work on it) so this is a situation I easily can imagine getting caught up in. Reading for friends for free is one thing, but like a lot of other people have said I don't think you owe friends of friends, who are more or less strangers, the same treatment.

Still learning or not, you are providing a service and doing a lot of work with these readings. The least they could do is give you something in exchange and not just take and take, I think. Sure, some of them might stop coming for readings if you start charging them, but on the other hand those who choose to stick around might be better clients who care enough about your work to pay for it. If you want feedback to develop your skills further I think you could state that too, and maybe not give more readings until you hear back from the client? I don't read for others so I'm mostly throwing out some ideas since I don't know exactly what's normal to do, but yeah. Maybe the money is enough, maybe you'd love some feedback too. Do what works for you. I'd write an email and tell them these readings are a lot of work and effort for you and thus you're charging for them now. If you set up shop online refer them to that for any future readings, and maybe tell your friends to do the same.
 

barefootlife

A really easy way to do this: set up an Etsy. Put prices on it that are fair for the amount of time and energy that you put into a reading (and remember that Etsy takes their little share when you're setting prices). Next time they ask, send them a link to your Etsy page and explain that you're setting up a small business and you'd appreciate if they'd support you that way in return for your obviously helpful readings. :thumbsup: Either the requests will stop or you'll make some money, and either way you win.
 

Grizabella

We ask for feedback here because it's a learning forum and we don't do free readings. In real life, though, getting feedback is just hit or miss. I don't think a lot of people would even know what you mean by "feedback" so you might want to be prepared with little explanatory cards indicating what feedback you want from them that you could give to them beforehand. :)

If you're new to the cards and don't feel ready to charge for readings, just say no when asked if you don't feel like doing them. If you're not someone who can comfortably say "no", then just consider it an internship or "continuing education. :)

Or, just don't carry a deck around with you. If you don't have a deck with you, then obviously you can't read for anyone. :)
 

Carojulie

Hello,

This situation has happened to me ONCE, when I was practicing email reading, and a friend told me that she had friends on whom I could practice.

I very clearly explained to the first "friend of friend" who contacted me, that I was doing the reading in order to refine my skills, and that all I was asking in return was honest feedback, with any remark or criticism that might help me build on my skills. I made it clear that it was a deal : you want a reading, and I want experience : you get the reading, I get the detailed feedback that I need to become better at email reading.

The friend of friend accepted the deal and gave me her question.

I offered a selection of decks for her to chose from, and then I produced a detailed reading, with pictures of the spread ; it took me more several hours because I wanted it to be good.
I researched symbols, read about mythology (I was using the Mythic tarot), wrote in english which is not my first language, checked my spelling, borrowed a camera for the pics....
I really think I did a professional job, if I may say so myself.

The friend of friend then sent me a short thank you note : "thank you very much, your reading made total sense" and that was all.

I felt that her thank you note was not detailed feedback at all, and I was not happy with the deal.
So, I said nothing, but next time she was interested in a reading, I just did not answer.
It has never happened again.

Feminine-mystique, you are giving your time, and your time is precious.
My advice is, if you feel that you are being used, put your foot down now.
I understand that it is difficult to say no, but if you wait more, the risk is that your resentment willl build ; and when you eventually get fed up enough to say "no", you will be so wound up that you might say it with a lot of resentment.
Better say "no" calmly now, and explain why it is not fair that you give your time like that, than let the stress of the situation get you.

And Barefootlife is right : with all the experience you have now, you can set up an Esty shop !

Maybe people do not realise what effort and time a reading takes. If you tell them, maybe they will be ready to offer payment or feedback or anything you are willing to trade ; or they will just withdraw. Win-win !