A spread for understanding in relationships

le fey

I did a reading for someone a couple days ago who was troubled over what their partner wasn't telling them - more about the 'why aren't they being upfront about this' than anything.

The spread sort of came up on the fly after discussion over whether or not it was a deliberate withholding of information or something else, and I can't really credit this with myself - the seeker spelled out pretty clearly what he wanted to know and we just balanced it out to get a whole picture.

Here's the final spread, and he says it gave him a lot of clarity about what to discuss with his partner as well as what to sort out for himself. A is the seeker and B is the other person involved. (And I think this would be a very good spread for them both to be there for as it opens up all sorts of discussion potential)

2......3
....1...
4......5

1. The subject - what is the situation that needs to be sorted out.
2. That A and B both already know and acknowledge about the situation.
3. What A knows and acknowledges, but B doesn't.
4. What B knows and acknowledges, but A doesn't.
5. What neither A or B knows or acknowledges but is a factor in the situation.

This spread doesn't offer a solution or specific plan of action - what it does do is help see where the blind spots are and understand why the other may be behaving in ways that don't make sense (because they don't see what's perfectly clear to you, or because they insist on action based on something you don't acknowledge). I like that it keeps responsibility on both people rather than just one.

Let me know what you think? I thought about adding a guidance card, but I didn't like disrupting the symmetry! The guidance to me seems to be 'understand and communicate about this stuff' but maybe that's my own prejudice talking.
 

lilangel09

I'll try it out this afternoon/evening and let you know. :)
 

IndigoWonders

Perfect timing in posting this! Someone asked me to do a reading for them tonight. I'm using your spread but added:

6) What A should work towards
7) What B should work towards

It still keeps the balance if you add to each side as I did.

....2......3...
6......1......7
....4......5...

I like how this opens the door to better communication. Well done.
 

le fey

Oh that looks good! Thank you! I hope you'll share how the reading worked out.
 

IndigoWonders

The reading went quite well. She was very impressed and thought everything was spot on. Thanks for sharing the spread. It's one I know I will be using again.
 

litldevil

I tried this spread and liked the clarity it gave to a situation. I particularly like open ended spreads and this one will be used more than once.

I think you were right when you expressed the "guidance" would come from within as a result of understanding the situation. Thanks for posting this.
 

Violetmay

This was very useful, just tried it out. Thank you.
 

pasara

slight variation

i like this spread, especially as you suggested it as something for a couple to do together to spur discussion and connection. i also liked the variation of adding cards 6 and 7 representing "the work." thank you.

for myself i have adapted it slightly in the way it is laid out, as for me i often think in terms of the cosmic axis of above (outer, or conscious)-below (inner, or subconscious), and left (self)-right (other.) In terms of this i would lay this spread out something more like this:
------2------
---3-----4---
6-----1-----7
------5------

using your same significance for each position:

1:the subject that needs sorting out
2:what both parties know and acknowledge
3: what A knows, B doesn't
4: what B knows, A doesn't
5: what neither party is aware of that comes into play
6: A's "work" (or meditation)
7: B's "work" (or meditation)