Thanks Rogan ~
I think I understand. We internalize the social judgments -fear, guilt and often, self-loathing. Some of us choose the liberation of public declaration but that often comes with its own costs and is not a choice for everyone. I think you are displacing something from your past experience on to the question in hand and it may not be appropriate.
If one is open about one’s sexuality the sheer burden of having to wear the stigma is a continuing weight. Outsiderdom. Denis Altman said in his
Homosexual – Oppression and Liberation (Angus & Robertson, 1971)
“There are times when I don’t disclose my homosexuality – a choice denied others stigmatized – because I am tired of being viewed, however, sympathetically, as an outsider.”
It makes me weary, to be honest, to see the subject of homosexuality come up here again and again in this way and I’ve said why in an earlier part of this thread. Where are the threads in Aeclectic that ferret out heterosexuality, Christian fundamentalism or Catholicism?
On the one hand, I feel like saying to some people
Get a life and go and talk to real gay people. Read some books. Educate yourself . I know Rainwolf opened this thread and he is openly gay but I think his question actually springs from self-exploration more than anything else. On the other hand I feel, in a diminishing way now, the obligation to help others understand so that they won’t go out and hurt someone with their ignorance.
I think in a different way, you are objecting to the same thing that I am – the often prurient objectification of homosexuality. This comes from ignorance, institutional thinking and the need for society to have scapegoats. It doesn’t make growing up gay or living gay any easier. Mind you, when I was younger and found my peers, I loved being radically different, even if at times it caused some difficulty.
I don’t believe that most people can discern the sexuality of others from the cards alone. Highly gifted readers might pick it up but genuinely gifted intuitives are actually quite rare. Genuinely gifted psychics are even rarer. I also don’t believe it should matter to you or to me what others do with their cards. We should only be concerned with ourselves. Nor do we have any power whatsoever to influence what others so with their cards.
I am a gay woman too, Rogan – all my life. And I know Outsiderdom quite well. By the way it does not only apply to us. It applies to any group of people who do not meet the criteria which society deems acceptable – people with disabilities, addictions, criminal records, racial differences and so on.
Sometimes people ask here because they want to know themselves. They may be some where on that bell curve of sexuality which makes them wonder about themselves just like you, many years ago, but they may not know it yet
Moongold
