4 of cups as what someone wants

Adriana

4 of cups comes up in a position for what the other person wants from the relationship.
Its possible they are bored, but at the same time they want the stability of the relationship.
The lovers came up in the position of how the other person views themselves in the relationship, so seems they feel like they have to make a choice.. maybe between the stability snd new adventures..
 

Thirteen

4 of cups comes up in a position for what the other person wants from the relationship.
Its possible they are bored, but at the same time they want the stability of the relationship.
The lovers came up in the position of how the other person views themselves in the relationship, so seems they feel like they have to make a choice.. maybe between the stability snd new adventures..
The Lovers doesn't always mean "a choice." It can mean feeling like you've found "The one" and must have that one. A very powerful draw as it were. 4/Cups may indeed indicate that what you're getting (emotionally) from a relationship is not enough. Restlessness, or a feeling like things aren't moving along and getting stale because of it.
 

Adriana

The Lovers doesn't always mean "a choice." It can mean feeling like you've found "The one" and must have that one. A very powerful draw as it were. 4/Cups may indeed indicate that what you're getting (emotionally) from a relationship is not enough. Restlessness, or a feeling like things aren't moving along and getting stale because of it.

Thanks, Thirteen :) do you think that since the lovers came up on how the other person views themselves in the relationship (not how they view the person read for) it could still mean this? I was trying to connect it to the 4 of cups.
 

KnightOfTheCosmos

I like Thirteen's interpretation. I was thinking that the 4 of Cups means that someone wants excitement in their life because they're currently bored and may be feeling apathetic.

I don't know what deck you used, but in Deviant Moon (my favorite deck and a highly unique one at that) the 4 of Cups is represented by a girl "locked" in a tower. She's looking out the window with a melancholy expression on her face as she pours wine from a cup out the window. The world outside of the Tower is exciting, and the funny thing is that she has the key to get out of the Tower. She's just so wrapped in her own world that she can't see it.

She wants the excitement of the outside world and she believes it's unavailable to her, but her view is skewed.

In a relationship it could mean the person is bored and the relationship is becoming stale, and because of this they crave some excitement, something new and refreshing.
 

Thirteen

Thanks, Thirteen :) do you think that since the lovers came up on how the other person views themselves in the relationship (not how they view the person read for) it could still mean this? I was trying to connect it to the 4 of cups.
I'd say that the one who got the Lovers views themselves as the perfect match and would be amazed to hear that the other person isn't happy. Obviously, the other person (4/Cups) is feeling like they want more. They may recognize that they're getting a lot out of this person, but it falls emotionally short somehow.

Speaking of which: I understand the temptation to view the card as wanting "excitement" but keep in mind that Wands are the suit about about energy and excitement; about passionate sex, drama, heroics. A Wands card would indicate a desire for excitement. Cups are about teary-eyed emotions and deep, spiritual connections. Meaning that the 4/Cups person is not feeling "bored" so much as "dull." No joy, no sorrow, no high or low. No one is able to make them laugh or cry. The most common thing a 4/Cups person would say is:"What's happened to the romance?"

Essentially, what they want to feel is what they felt in the 2/Cups—joy, allure, warmth, tingles; "I love you so much!" tenderness. But all they're feeling (4/Cups) is that the honeymoon is over and the romance is gone and might not be back. No more tingles, no more warm tenderness. So, they're starting to imagine searching for someone new who might give them that 2/Cups feeling again. They're not sure holding on to what they've got is worth it.
 

Trogon

4 of cups comes up in a position for what the other person wants from the relationship.
Its possible they are bored, but at the same time they want the stability of the relationship.
The lovers came up in the position of how the other person views themselves in the relationship, so seems they feel like they have to make a choice.. maybe between the stability snd new adventures..

[Note; I'm basing this on the RWS as it's the system I learned on.] The 4 of Cups as what the person wants in a relationship makes me think that they want the stability of the relationship. They may want what most people would think of as the boring aspects of a long-term relationship - being able to come home, have supper, watch TV or something, go to bed & get up the next day to do it over again. There is a certain comfort in the "boredom" and day-to-day routine which they desire. They still want "love" and/or emotional support, but not necessarily the passion and excitement that an affair or new love would have. It makes me think of "The Donna Reed Show" from the 1950's - 1960's.

The Lovers as how they see themselves I think adds to this concept with a feeling of love and marriage. The RWS Lovers shows this with the Angel appearing to bless the union of the man and woman. With the conventionality of the 4 of Cups, I feel this further shows that they see themselves as part of a conventional marriage. They see themselves as a strong partner in a stable relationship.

Anyway, this is what occurred to me ...
 

Adriana

I like Thirteen's interpretation. I was thinking that the 4 of Cups means that someone wants excitement in their life because they're currently bored and may be feeling apathetic.

I don't know what deck you used, but in Deviant Moon (my favorite deck and a highly unique one at that) the 4 of Cups is represented by a girl "locked" in a tower. She's looking out the window with a melancholy expression on her face as she pours wine from a cup out the window. The world outside of the Tower is exciting, and the funny thing is that she has the key to get out of the Tower. She's just so wrapped in her own world that she can't see it.

She wants the excitement of the outside world and she believes it's unavailable to her, but her view is skewed.

In a relationship it could mean the person is bored and the relationship is becoming stale, and because of this they crave some excitement, something new and refreshing.

This is a nice view of the card. In my mystic dreamer deck there is a girl sitting by a tree with 3 cups but what differs here from RW is that the 4th cup is further away and out of view.
I can see the boredom interpretation. I also started to think if the 4 of cups isnt just feeling bored with the relationship but their life in general, they have much but want more excitement. Maybe this relationship has stopped giving them that. Dt least emotionally
 

Adriana

I'd say that the one who got the Lovers views themselves as the perfect match and would be amazed to hear that the other person isn't happy. Obviously, the other person (4/Cups) is feeling like they want more. They may recognize that they're getting a lot out of this person, but it falls emotionally short somehow.

Speaking of which: I understand the temptation to view the card as wanting "excitement" but keep in mind that Wands are the suit about about energy and excitement; about passionate sex, drama, heroics. A Wands card would indicate a desire for excitement. Cups are about teary-eyed emotions and deep, spiritual connections. Meaning that the 4/Cups person is not feeling "bored" so much as "dull." No joy, no sorrow, no high or low. No one is able to make them laugh or cry. The most common thing a 4/Cups person would say is:"What's happened to the romance?"

Essentially, what they want to feel is what they felt in the 2/Cups—joy, allure, warmth, tingles; "I love you so much!" tenderness. But all they're feeling (4/Cups) is that the honeymoon is over and the romance is gone and might not be back. No more tingles, no more warm tenderness. So, they're starting to imagine searching for someone new who might give them that 2/Cups feeling again. They're not sure holding on to what they've got is worth it.

As always you make the cards so much clearer and alive :)

I didnt think about this interpretation of the lovers, it could make so much sense (btw person that views themselves as the lovers is s bit of a narcissist). Omg, like God's gift to women? Thehee

Btw, to clear up, both cards come up for the same person; he sees himself as the lovers here, and 4/c is what he wants from the relationship. Sorry if I was unclear, but what you say can still hold true.

And thanks for the extra info about the 4/c. I have had the tendency of seeing it like bored and wanting excitement in a wands sort off way, so your words have helped me.
 

JMI_Tarot

Sorry- I posted this reply in the wrong thread and don't know how to delete the entire post, so I just deleted the text. Please excuse.
 

Adriana

[Note; I'm basing this on the RWS as it's the system I learned on.] The 4 of Cups as what the person wants in a relationship makes me think that they want the stability of the relationship. They may want what most people would think of as the boring aspects of a long-term relationship - being able to come home, have supper, watch TV or something, go to bed & get up the next day to do it over again. There is a certain comfort in the "boredom" and day-to-day routine which they desire. They still want "love" and/or emotional support, but not necessarily the passion and excitement that an affair or new love would have. It makes me think of "The Donna Reed Show" from the 1950's - 1960's.

The Lovers as how they see themselves I think adds to this concept with a feeling of love and marriage. The RWS Lovers shows this with the Angel appearing to bless the union of the man and woman. With the conventionality of the 4 of Cups, I feel this further shows that they see themselves as part of a conventional marriage. They see themselves as a strong partner in a stable relationship.

Anyway, this is what occurred to me ...

Thank you for adding this!
Its certainly another valid interpretation of the 4 C. Im wondering if both yours and Thirteen and knightofthecosmos are all right. Because from what I gather about this male not counting tarot is that he wants all; excitement, new feelings, but also someone to be a constant and emotionally stable. I haven't seen the Donna Reed show.

Your take on the lovers is interesting too. The mystic dreamer is supposed to follow the symbolic meanings of the RW, but between the lovers in this card there is a sword, sheated I think, and it looks somewhat more tenacious than the regular lovers.