Icky feeling when potential Readers suss out your previous questions?

Bonny

Hi There,

Yes, I get it that some repeat questions can be nullifyingly uninteresting to a potential Reader , but I do object to my posts being 'stalked'.

Does it not render anyone else here an ICKEE feeling when you hear of someone going through your posts to then make their presumptions and judgements from their projected idiosyncratic tally on how much you have asked on a certain topic?

Really?

Comments such as 'You have asked on such and such quite a lot lately' are really intrusive, unnecessary and for goodness sake, to them?
MAYBE?
To me? NOT AT ALL!!!

I hope that potential Readers stay out of a Sitters business in terms of previous readings. Anything more than that in my opinion, is edging on stalking, therefore intrusive, offensive and should be 'bann-able'.

99% of the questions posted actually are THE GIFT to the Reader. It is not the other way around!
Seriously, Readers need to treat a Sitter with gratitude, because the Sitter is risking a LOT more by the exchange than the Reader is.

I'm here to learn & to help others learn. I'm not here to smooth anyone's ego with giving them the one only enquiry ever made in the history of humankind on a specific topic.

I'm over that kind of ego ruffle.

Respect for people's own freedom on this forum should be paramount. The glaring exposed feeling of someone raking through your sharings is just oppressive.

My message is 'back off' and get over trying to feel so special. Repeat questions come because they're important to the sitter and life is dynamic and changes quite rapidly.

Of course it's all good to decline to read for a sitter, but not on the basis of having read through their previous sensitive dialogues with other Readers; then pitching value judgements that are really quite harmful.

B.
 

DDwarks

I read the exchange sub forum because im learning and I find it interesting to see how readers interpret their own cards. Its not trolling!

I refuse to read myself on questions already asked a few times for 3 reasons.

- my take on my cards could very well be influenced by what I have already read.

- asked to death questions give a watered down difficult to read answer, which isnt fair on me. Its given me physical headaches in the past.

- I dont think its healthy and I dont want to encourage it. Some readers dont mind but I do.

I ve noticed some sitters asking the same question over and over until they get the answer they want.
By saying No to them Im establishing/ learning to put some boundaries for myself.

What are they learning by asking the same question repeatedly?
 

Bonny

I read the exchange sub forum because im learning and I find it interesting to see how readers interpret their own cards. Its not trolling!

I refuse to read myself on questions already asked a few times for 3 reasons.

- my take on my cards could very well be influenced by what I have already read.

- asked to death questions give a watered down difficult to read answer, which isnt fair on me. Its given me physical headaches in the past.

- I dont think its healthy and I dont want to encourage it. Some readers dont mind but I do.

I ve noticed some sitters asking the same question over and over until they get the answer they want.
By saying No to them Im establishing/ learning to put some boundaries for myself.

What are they learning by asking the same question repeatedly?



What do you learn by asking the same question repeatedly?

What can or does any human being trying to learn their lessons get by asking the same question repeatedly?

There's no issue with setting boundaries as you see fit.
There is a problem with harming others even if it is only energetically by making a value judgement about their conduct or behaviour.

I have been an educator for more decades than I like to admit.

If asking a question repeatedly was stopped, my goodness, who would EVER learn?

Quite simply, I would ask how do you know they are trying to get an answer they 'want' ?

Maybe that's not correct at all.

Maybe they are after deeper understanding.

Enough with the judgements!!

Great Sitters (people) with respect! Respect their boundaries and don't assume that by examining their previous posts you are not trolling.
If they haven't invited you there directly, that would seem like a violation at some level.
Why not focus on your own learning via your own questions more so than looking into others' dialogues.

And if you do happen to read on how others are going with their readings now and again, why not meet that with an air of appreciation rather than slamming them for daring to repeat the question by ousting them from your special service?

That's back to front.

People ask repeat questions because they are learning.

It's as simple as that.

People , by and large, project onto others' their unfair judgements and exclude them because they have ego issues running.

It's as simple as that.
 

DownUnderNZer

I agree quite a lot with DDwarks and especially when the same questions are asked for like 2 or so years by the same sitter or sitters and almost everyday! Ludicrous! That to me is a "stalker" and one that is truly "obsessed" and "insecure".

What really are they teaching and learning? In fact, surely after 6 months or so in the "Reading Exchange" you'd think they would have progressed somewhat. Right?

I think it is more "stalker like" to ask the same questions over and over and about the same person almost in every reading.

1) It is an invasion of that person's privacy.
2) Is it really the sitter's business to know what that "other person" thinks and/or feels almost on a daily basis when that person is not really in her/his life in the way that they want.

I think not.

Personally, I do agree that it is not a good idea that a reader goes off of previous readings, but what a field day they must have reading through all that material because it does show true insecurity, an obsession, and stalker like behavior.

"NO"...readers should not use other readings like that at all, but then some sitters need to stop being stalkers in overkill with the "same questions" and "same person" that is the main focus almost 100% of the time.

It is not healthy at all.

DND :)






I read the exchange sub forum because im learning and I find it interesting to see how readers interpret their own cards. Its not trolling!

I refuse to read myself on questions already asked a few times for 3 reasons.

- my take on my cards could very well be influenced by what I have already read.

- asked to death questions give a watered down difficult to read answer, which isnt fair on me. Its given me physical headaches in the past.

- I dont think its healthy and I dont want to encourage it. Some readers dont mind but I do.

I ve noticed some sitters asking the same question over and over until they get the answer they want.
By saying No to them Im establishing/ learning to put some boundaries for myself.

What are they learning by asking the same question repeatedly?
 

Bonny

DownUnderNZER,

Thank you, I see you made a post, but I cannot see it.

All the best.

B
 

DDwarks

Except that they are wanting a specific answer Bon.

Ive had sitters going into great length to tell me how wrong I was because their cards are not saying it and others readers on here ive said otherwise too.

Someone even had the nerve to PM me to tell me how wrong I was and how I shouldnt give readings on here. Many readers had told her the exact opposite was true and she provided with links to check it out. You were on one of those exchanges too btw!
I turned out to be right in tbe end and Prince Charming didnt show up before the end of 2016.
I know that because shes still asking.
Now why not take the time to tell me I turned out to be right???

Ive seen people ask the same question until "it resonates".
"No he doesnt love you" "hes not on the same page as you" doesnt resonate.
" I can see he fancies you but carries some emotional pain from a previous relationship and this is why he does acknowledge you" well that resonates!

You obviouly want to see the best in those situations with sitters and thats fine.
It fits your kind and loving personality.

Some of us are more direct. Whilst I respect your point of view and have no issues with letting you get on with it, my choice is to not enable some sitters.

Believe me Bon, some sitters are very rude when they dont get the answers they were expecting. Not everybody on here is like you!
 

gregory

Up to a point I agree.

BUT there have been cases where one person is hurting themselves by obsessing - I am not about to name anyone - but the individual I am thinking of who reads frequently on the same issue has actually said fair cop, and been happy to discuss the earlier readings in relation to the most recent. If one has been following an individual (stalking, you call it) because you are concerned about them, I DO think it's OK to mention their earlier readings. If they immediately said please don't, I would comply - but so far that hasn't happened in the case I have in mind.

Also it is, I think, fair to ask "is this the same guy you asked about yesterday" as that may colour your take on a new reading.
 

Bonny

Except that they are wanting a specific answer Bon.

Ive had sitters going into great length to tell me how wrong I was because their cards are not saying it and others readers on here ive said otherwise too.

Someone even had the nerve to PM me to tell me how wrong I was and how I shouldnt give readings on here. Many readers had told her the exact opposite was true and she provided with links to check it out. You were on one of those exchanges too btw!
I turned out to be right in tbe end and Prince Charming didnt show up before the end of 2016.
I know that because shes still asking.
Now why not take the time to tell me I turned out to be right???

Ive seen people ask the same question until "it resonates".
"No he doesnt love you" "hes not on the same page as you" doesnt resonate.
" I can see he fancies you but carries some emotional pain from a previous relationship and this is why he does acknowledge you" well that resonates!

You obviouly want to see the best in those situations with sitters and thats fine.
It fits your kind and loving personality.

Some of us are more direct. Whilst I respect your point of view and have no issues with letting you get on with it, my choice is to not enable some sitters.

Believe me Bon, some sitters are very rude when they dont get the answers they were expecting. Not everybody on here is like you!



Alright Sweetie!!!! Lol!

I haven't experienced it like that. I haven't been PM'd or anything with Sitters saying I was wrong. For heavens sake, that's a bit full-on!!

I was PM'd once when I tried to offer some alternative suggestions for cards and the said PM'er told me I was the worst person on the world and basically kicked really hard. She took it wrong, I wasn't trying to insult he. Geez! After a few PM's it was all apologised for etc. But I've never known Sitters to be like you describe.

Thanks for the lovely sweet message D.

You're fantastic and you MUST stay on here reading !!! (Must!!!)

X
 

Debra

Hi Bonny.

I do look at people's previous threads if I have a sense that they're repeating themselves in the Your Readings forum. It doesn't happen all that often, but when I do get a sense of deja vu, I don't hesitate to check for old threads from the person asking for help.

Looking at the history of shared readings can give perspective on where the person is coming from. It also helps me decide whether to participate in the thread. This is not voyeurism or stalking. It's in my own interest to see if I'm risking a dead end or unrewarding interaction with the questioner, and it might help her to learn that repeated readings on the same topic become less and less meaningful.

When I was paid for readings, I refused repeated requests that I seemed ill-advised. I see this as similar.

Hope this makes sense to you.


Hi There,

Yes, I get it that some repeat questions can be nullifyingly uninteresting to a potential Reader , but I do object to my posts being 'stalked'.

Does it not render anyone else here an ICKEE feeling when you hear of someone going through your posts to then make their presumptions and judgements from their projected idiosyncratic tally on how much you have asked on a certain topic?

Really?

Comments such as 'You have asked on such and such quite a lot lately' are really intrusive, unnecessary and for goodness sake, to them?
MAYBE?
To me? NOT AT ALL!!!

I hope that potential Readers stay out of a Sitters business in terms of previous readings. Anything more than that in my opinion, is edging on stalking, therefore intrusive, offensive and should be 'bann-able'.

99% of the questions posted actually are THE GIFT to the Reader. It is not the other way around!
Seriously, Readers need to treat a Sitter with gratitude, because the Sitter is risking a LOT more by the exchange than the Reader is.

I'm here to learn & to help others learn. I'm not here to smooth anyone's ego with giving them the one only enquiry ever made in the history of humankind on a specific topic.

I'm over that kind of ego ruffle.

Respect for people's own freedom on this forum should be paramount. The glaring exposed feeling of someone raking through your sharings is just oppressive.

My message is 'back off' and get over trying to feel so special. Repeat questions come because they're important to the sitter and life is dynamic and changes quite rapidly.

Of course it's all good to decline to read for a sitter, but not on the basis of having read through their previous sensitive dialogues with other Readers; then pitching value judgements that are really quite harmful.

B.
 

gregory

Hi Bonny.

I do look at people's previous threads if I have a sense that they're repeating themselves in the Your Readings forum. It doesn't happen all that often, but when I do get a sense of deja vu, I don't hesitate to check for old threads from the person asking for help.

Looking at the history of shared readings can give perspective on where the person is coming from. It also helps me decide whether to participate in the thread. This is not voyeurism or stalking. It's in my own interest to see if I'm risking a dead end or unrewarding interaction with the questioner, and it might help her to learn that repeated readings on the same topic become less and less meaningful.
This too. If I keep seeing the same name against "Will he leave his wife" I don't keep showing up to comment after the first - well, two times, probably; benefit of doubt and all that. What's the point ?