Carojulie
Hello,
I have a question about ethics.
One of my rules that I try to stand for, and that I announce to my querents, is that I do not read for a third party, or for someone who is unaware that I am reading about them - unless they have given permission (because I sense that it would not be ethical)
But.
Lately I have wondered about that. I wonder if my "ethics" are not too strict.
I realise that I often disapoint my querents when I tell them I wont do such reading.
I also realise that often, I nearly break this rule myself while reading (even if at first I am not really aware of it)
Examples :
- A friend asked me a reading about her lover because she wanted to know what he really felt for her and if he intented to leave his previous life to come and live with her. I explained that I couln't base a reading on him, while she was the querent and not him.
I suggested a reading based on how she could deal with the relationship, from her point of view, instead. She accepted but she was disapointed, because it was not what she was interested about in the first place.
- Not long ago I offered to read for a friend, who is head of a local office for a big company.
He first asked a question about his daughter and her studies, which I declined.
He then asked about a new deputy director that was to arrive the next week. His worries : he himself is the director, and this new person was going to be his deputy director, thought my friend did not get to choose him (the company chose him - my friend had wished for someone else for this position).
I eplained I couln't do it like that, and I offered an alternative question : "how can you make the most of this new partnership with this new deputy-director / how can you make it work, how can you deal with the situation in the best manner for all involved"
My friend accepted this.
I did a SWOT spread, but I realised mid-reading that everything I was saying was related to "what is this new man like". I tried to veer my reading back to the question "how can you make the most of it", but the reading itself, everything I came up with, kept being mainly a description of the strenghts and weaknesses of this new deputy director.
At the end I realised I had answered my friend first question, not the question I had myself come up with.
So.
I realise that very often, what we really want to know is what other people in our life do or think, and how that can affect us.
There can be a limit to the interest querents have in readings that are always stricktly centered about them, their feelings, their hidden fears etc.
It is difficult for me to decline all my querents questions, untill they eventually accept whatever question I suggest - at that point they are already disapointed with the whole process.
And in any case, in most readings, if a third person is involved in the situation being explored, then at least part of the reading will be about this third person, what they feel, what they want, etc.
I would like to know what is your take on this issue of "reading about a person who is not aware we are reading about them" ?
Should I be more relaxed about it ? Should I accept when a friend wants the reading to be about their lover, their boss, their kids ? Or, am I right to fear that there is something "not quite right" about reading for a third person ?
How do you do it ?
Have you even ever considered such an ethic issue, or have you never given it a thought ?
Thank you for your help !
I have a question about ethics.
One of my rules that I try to stand for, and that I announce to my querents, is that I do not read for a third party, or for someone who is unaware that I am reading about them - unless they have given permission (because I sense that it would not be ethical)
But.
Lately I have wondered about that. I wonder if my "ethics" are not too strict.
I realise that I often disapoint my querents when I tell them I wont do such reading.
I also realise that often, I nearly break this rule myself while reading (even if at first I am not really aware of it)
Examples :
- A friend asked me a reading about her lover because she wanted to know what he really felt for her and if he intented to leave his previous life to come and live with her. I explained that I couln't base a reading on him, while she was the querent and not him.
I suggested a reading based on how she could deal with the relationship, from her point of view, instead. She accepted but she was disapointed, because it was not what she was interested about in the first place.
- Not long ago I offered to read for a friend, who is head of a local office for a big company.
He first asked a question about his daughter and her studies, which I declined.
He then asked about a new deputy director that was to arrive the next week. His worries : he himself is the director, and this new person was going to be his deputy director, thought my friend did not get to choose him (the company chose him - my friend had wished for someone else for this position).
I eplained I couln't do it like that, and I offered an alternative question : "how can you make the most of this new partnership with this new deputy-director / how can you make it work, how can you deal with the situation in the best manner for all involved"
My friend accepted this.
I did a SWOT spread, but I realised mid-reading that everything I was saying was related to "what is this new man like". I tried to veer my reading back to the question "how can you make the most of it", but the reading itself, everything I came up with, kept being mainly a description of the strenghts and weaknesses of this new deputy director.
At the end I realised I had answered my friend first question, not the question I had myself come up with.
So.
I realise that very often, what we really want to know is what other people in our life do or think, and how that can affect us.
There can be a limit to the interest querents have in readings that are always stricktly centered about them, their feelings, their hidden fears etc.
It is difficult for me to decline all my querents questions, untill they eventually accept whatever question I suggest - at that point they are already disapointed with the whole process.
And in any case, in most readings, if a third person is involved in the situation being explored, then at least part of the reading will be about this third person, what they feel, what they want, etc.
I would like to know what is your take on this issue of "reading about a person who is not aware we are reading about them" ?
Should I be more relaxed about it ? Should I accept when a friend wants the reading to be about their lover, their boss, their kids ? Or, am I right to fear that there is something "not quite right" about reading for a third person ?
How do you do it ?
Have you even ever considered such an ethic issue, or have you never given it a thought ?
Thank you for your help !