Tower as physical death, ten of pents as heaven?

I had a weird turn of events last night while soul searching. I realised that what I'm feeling for my ex is grief, the kind of grief we go through when suddenly losing a loved one to death. It's been almost 5yrs and I'm still grieving. I always assumed he was alive and well and just moved on. I might be wrong about that.

I had a dream approx 2yrs ago that he had fallen from a balcony and died. At the time I thought it was just my mind letting go of the relationship, but it's clear to me now that didn't happen. I've had precognitive dreams before, they have a different character to regular dreams and this one had the character of a precognitive dream. Also all social media updates from this person cease at around this time, which is odd because he was a heavy user. It occurred to me last night that I might actually be grieving his real death.

My current emotional work is to let go of him. The death card has been stalking me for almost a year on this subject.But I had no idea how I really felt until now. I have not accepted that he is gone. So last night I asked my tarot to tell me about him.

Significator - The emperor Rx. The significant man in my life now gone.

What happened to him. The Tower. This is very much in line with my dream about him. A fall, literal that caused death. Also a catastrophic change in our connection.

The other card which features heavily about him (over the last year) has been the Ten Of Pentacles. I had no idea what this meant since I think of it like a marriage card (we were engaged). But when I asked as part of this reading where he was I got Ten Of Pentacles in that position. In my deck (universal fantasy tarot) the Ten Of Pentacles shows someone standing on the edge of a promised land and about to enter it.

When I asked why we can't be together anymore I got The Moon. A card that I recognise as being the transition to the spirit world. It's the veil between worlds and this card clearly says to me he is no longer here.

This is not the whole reading, I drew approximately ten cards on the issue. But these were the ones that lead me to consider that perhaps he really did die, and on some level I knew that and never wanted to let go. There is no way for me to know for sure if this is true, as he was foreign and aside from social media I have no idea how to contact his non-english speaking family to find out.

Thoughts?

I hope you don't mind me leaving my lurk to come and comment on this.

With the three cards that have very literal imagery and the assumption your dream was true, I would say go back to the other cards in the spread and interpret them in the same way, if you haven't done already or are interested in the idea. Maybe continue to use the more literal method in some other spreads and see what comes up. Perhaps there is even some symbolism in the other cards you pulled for this spread that have very strong meanings, like the moon does, and you might gain even more clarity from it.

I hope this brings you some amount of closure on his death, and I'm sorry that you must experience this loss. Even if the dream isn't the truth (Which I don't think is the case with your justification, but is always possible), if your heart believes it to be true then the feelings are the same. Whether he's gone from this earth or gone from your presence, loss is still something that has to be felt.

As you mentioned, the Death card is reminding you that new growth is ready to begin, and it's time for a fresh start. This will still be hard for you, I'm sure, but if you believe the tarot to be a viable way of coping with your grief and emotional needs, I encourage it. It's helped me too, and it's always nice to feel that there's at least something you can do and something you can go to for help in any situation. Guidance comes from many places, and sometimes your own conscious isn't enough, but if you don't mind me saying so, remember that advice isn't action. Tarot cards can't change the way you feel, but they can help you understand what you feel and how to change or cope with it.

Some personal advice I would give you is to try and confirm whether this is true if you're finding it difficult to move on because of the uncertainty. Unfortunately, if he did fall from a balcony, accident or not, his family may find it hard to talk about it to a stranger and through a translator. You might have some luck searching for obituaries, but if his language involves characters that aren't part of the Latin alphabet, you may find that tricky as well. Overall, only you know what's best for your emotional health, but consulting the tarot on where to find the information probably wouldn't hurt either, and closure is definitely important.

Thank you for sharing this, and I apologize if I overstepped any boundaries. I also hope I didn't tell you too much you didn't know, or come across as knowing more than I do! I wish you the very best.

Well those cards could have lots of meanings but the other cards all point to....it's over there is no returning. Not now, not ever. You need to move forward and quit this. In a way thinking of it like a real death brings more closure than just thinking of it like a breakup. One leaves me hanging wondering what if....the other offers no opportunity except to move on.

I believed him to be my life partner, a destined match. Which I suppose is why it's hard to ever give up on it. I remember thinking even as we got together.....that he would be my last lover. Looks like the universe has other plans.

I think you have a point and it's a realistic scenario. Maybe he indeed has passed away, around the time you saw the dream. I've also got 10 Pents and 10 Cups to indicate heaven in readings before (or afterlife/spirit state/other dimension, whatever you believe it is). Do you have any way to find out for sure?

However, I think it is also possible that these cards mean:
what happened to him - something changed drastically and unexpectedly, whatever he was building his life on, did not last because of inherent internal weaknesses/issues/dishonesty.

Where is he now: he's happy and secure, surrounded by a family (either a partner and kids or an extended family and friends, or both).

The Moon to me most often means: wrong direction. Yes I know the usual meanings about intuition, the otherworld, paranormal/metaphysical etc., but it also has the meaning of "do not look here, this is not the source of light for you". The Moon only reflects the sun, giving the illusion it is an energy source of its own, yet it's not. The joy of life, happiness, freedom of worries and absolute clarity come from the Sun in tarot. So it could mean: you can't be together because regardless of what you were sure of, it was not the right direction (for reasons I don't know).

However, I do agree that your interp is a possible, maybe even more likely, scenario.