Justice as relationship outcome?

CCTheGreat

I did post this in the reading forum but I didn't get very much feedback.

Back story: I met a guy while travelling but I was in difficult circumstances at the time and it was my last night so we never got anywhere. However, we've been talking for almost a year now. I should point out we live on opposite sides of the world and are both currently in undergrad so or semesters never match up. We've toyed around with him coming here or me going there but it wasn't an option.

It was always my plan to move to Europe after graduation, which happens in November and it looks like I'll be laying some professional connections in his city. Then the angst set in, we started this off light and fun but we've admitted to having feelings and I'm terrified of continuing this case it doesn't work out. What if it does work out and I'll need to plan my career around someone? I think it was a hope for so long that just putting a time frame on the waiting period is freaking me out.

Basically, I wanted to know if it's worth keeping this going or if I should just cut and run now and save myself disappointment and heart ache. This thing is a long shot and not even I know what I want yet.

Justice: As someone who studied law this card makes me think of a balanced and deliberate decision. It's almost as if it's telling me that a decision will be made in the future, more likely than not based on facts and occurrences that haven't happened yet. I also get the feeling that it's going to be both practical, reasoned but feeling as well.

Over all, I actually believe that there's something there with this guy and we don't owe each other anything and the idea was always to wait until we could try this out for real but now I'm starting to freak out because it looks like we'll have that chance.

Cut and run or stay and see how this plays out?
 

Thirteen

Moderator Note: Post Edited

Greetings, CCTheGreat, this is to let you know that the other cards you mentioned in your post were edited out.

In Using Tarot Cards you can ask about up to half the cards from a reading. But you CANNOT mention all the cards. Doing so is not only against UTC rules, but, in this case, would also be "cross-posting" (posting the same reading in both UTC and YR). That is not allowed. You can post a link to the full reading in this UTC thread so posters can see it and discuss it in Your Readings.

In short, you are allowed to discuss your "Justice as outcome" card here in this thread. If you mention the other cards, however, your post becomes a "cross post" and will be removed. So PLEASE DO NOT MENTION THOSE OTHER CARDS.
 

CCTheGreat

Greetings, CCTheGreat, this is to let you know that the other cards you mentioned in your post were edited out.

In Using Tarot Cards you can ask about up to half the cards from a reading. But you CANNOT mention all the cards. Doing so is not only against UTC rules, but, in this case, would also be "cross-posting" (posting the same reading in both UTC and YR). That is not allowed. You can post a link to the full reading in this UTC thread so posters can see it and discuss it in Your Readings.

In short, you are allowed to discuss your "Justice as outcome" card here in this thread. If you mention the other cards, however, your post becomes a "cross post" and will be removed. So PLEASE DO NOT MENTION THOSE OTHER CARDS.

Whoopsie, sorry. Noted.

Here's the link to the full reading http://www.tarotforum.net/showthread.php?t=269962
 

Barleywine

I always see Justice, being related to Libra in which the austere, exacting planet Saturn is exalted, as meaning "just desserts." The "desserts" part can probably be derived from Venus, ruler of Libra, but the "just" part is all Saturn. In the old computer science aphorism, it's a case of "garbage in, garbage out." If you waffle, hedge or are lukewarm about your commitment, that's probably what you'll get back. If you're "all in," you stand a better chance of getting a rewarding output. I don't see Justice as having much emotional warmth, so it would have to be a "rational" arrangement to start, and then see where it goes from there. I you're looking for "instant bliss," I wouldn't be optimistic.
 

CCTheGreat

I always see Justice, being related to Libra in which the austere, exacting planet Saturn is exalted, as meaning "just desserts." The "desserts" part can probably be derived from Venus, ruler of Libra, but the "just" part is all Saturn. In the old computer science aphorism, it's a case of "garbage in, garbage out." If you waffle, hedge or are lukewarm about your commitment, that's probably what you'll get back. If you're "all in," you stand a better chance of getting a rewarding output. I don't see Justice as having much emotional warmth, so it would have to be a "rational" arrangement to start, and then see where it goes from there. I you're looking for "instant bliss," I wouldn't be optimistic.

By rational arrangement you mean making decisions based on what would be the right/best thing rather than feelings. Also that this thing needs to work itself out more before it becomes apparent? Lastly, for optimism I should just let it go? I wasn't hoping for much but before I knew it I had hoped for something and now I'm terrified. I asked for some "space" (odd concept as we're on opposites of the world) and he said I can have it but still tentatively reaches out to me to keep me updated. I just needed time to regather my thoughts and focus on my goals rather than this so I asked the cards if I should stay or go, whether it was worth the risk.
 

Barleywine

By rational arrangement you mean making decisions based on what would be the right/best thing rather than feelings. Also that this thing needs to work itself out more before it becomes apparent? Lastly, for optimism I should just let it go? I wasn't hoping for much but before I knew it I had hoped for something and now I'm terrified. I asked for some "space" (odd concept as we're on opposites of the world) and he said I can have it but still tentatively reaches out to me to keep me updated. I just needed time to regather my thoughts and focus on my goals rather than this so I asked the cards if I should stay or go, whether it was worth the risk.

Sounds to me like you aren't ready to go "all in" on this. Maybe when you get to his city, you should just hang back and see what he does rather than trying to jump right into a relationship on your own initiative. Be neither "in" nor "out" until you see which way the scales tip. If he's not enthusiastic enough to take the lead when you're readily available, maybe your instincts are good on not committing.
 

MandMaud

What exactly do you risk? You've already planned to move to that country - if I understand you right, that's where he is. So once you're there, you'll be able to have visits while still at the "dating" level, no commitment. That would fit the cool, rational thinking implied by Justice. This card certainly doesn't imply hasty deciding.

Did you use position meanings? If it was past present future then... Oops, this is the thread where we don't talk about the other cards. :D
 

CCTheGreat

Sounds to me like you aren't ready to go "all in" on this. Maybe when you get to his city, you should just hang back and see what he does rather than trying to jump right into a relationship on your own initiative. Be neither "in" nor "out" until you see which way the scales tip. If he's not enthusiastic enough to take the lead when you're readily available, maybe your instincts are good on not committing.

That's the thing, I'm never all in. The problem is that I'm no good at waiting. I'd rather know right now, even if that means picking at the scab until it bleeds. As I've gotten older I've stopped doing that I tend to just take what I want or can and then leave. It's why I can no longer read for myself on ANY topic. I usually end up with a 7 of swords (I've identified this through a member here as this being my behaviour) or a 10 Swords which I've pretty much taken as an indication of me wearing myself out mentally to the point where I no longer care.

I had a friend do this reading for me and I thought it sounded too optimistic or open ended for me to be comfortable with. As it stands right now I can already tell my energy has shifted away from him and he's wondering what's happened.
 

CCTheGreat

What exactly do you risk? You've already planned to move to that country - if I understand you right, that's where he is. So once you're there, you'll be able to have visits while still at the "dating" level, no commitment. That would fit the cool, rational thinking implied by Justice. This card certainly doesn't imply hasty deciding.

Did you use position meanings? If it was past present future then... Oops, this is the thread where we don't talk about the other cards. :D

What do I risk? Giving a damn, hoping etc that's energy I could spend on a million other things instead of allow myself to have feelings (no matter how little or big they could be) only to have it go to waste on someone who's probably only going to hurt and disappoint me. I should point out I'm very good at controlling how I feel about someone. I don't know, before it was easy because it was a fantasy but now I'm actually going to see him and see where this goes. I used to think the worst thing that could happen would be never knowing, but now I think the worst part would be knowing it wasn't worth it.

The bizarre thing is that I'm not afraid of moving all by myself to a foreign country but I'm terrified of seeing him despite talking to this guy almost everyday for a whole year. The sole reason I'd avoid this city is because he lives there. Never mind the professional contacts.

He knows things about me most people don't know, let a lone someone I'm romantically interested in. He already knows too much. He's currently abroad and told me that he talks to me more than any of his friends at home. I don't know, it became very real for me and the fear kicked in. I think he can tell too. I'm trying not to be weird but my energy has changed already.
 

tarot_quest

Hey :)

I think that being nervous is very normal at this stage, because as you said, it could become concrete soon (and not only some fantasies). If you have been talking over a year with this man, on a daily basis, it's because there is a connection between you guys that might be worth exploring further.

I was in a similar situation, but the role were reversed. I met someone who just moved in my province to study, a year ago. The way you are talking 'I don't want to give him all my feelings', 'I could put this energy somewhere else', 'I will end up being disappointed' 'I am good at controlling my feelings' exactly describe this man, so I can relate from the point of view of your interest. In my case, this man made the ''mistake'' to cut the connection right from the start, despite admitting having strong feelings for me, a lot of physical attraction and a mind-like mentality on several things. He even don't bother replying to my texts, because he wants to control the situation, but I feel that he thinks of me at distance...

If I can give you my humble opinion, what are you loosing here? You could try to date him in person as MandMaud said. Worst case scenario? It will not work out and you will both move on. Best case scenario. It could be an amazing story between you guys and you could discover a new way to love and relate to someone.

If this man (my interest) would let me speak, I would make it very clear that our engagement does not 'tie him down' and that I am accepting that he could eventually travel for work. I don't want to restrict his freedom and break his dreams because we are together. I am more open minded than this. He was also scared to experience another failure in love. How will he know, if he never tries? It's the same idea for you. We have to take risks in life if we want to evolve.

Anyways, being scared is a very normal reaction and your interest might be scared too, but maybe shows it less than you. It's like a day or two before an important travel or a presentation, stress is a normal thing to experience. Once the 'ice will be break', you might start to feel better. And for the Justice card, it suggests you that you should see the pros and cons before making a major decision. Libra refers to relationships. So having a logical approach here will help. By cutting you from this person, you might have the impression to be logical and to control your feelings, but this is not the case.

Good luck!