What is she missing about him(that relationship)? Empress!

dancingufo

Hi, Forum.

I just want to give a quick question to you. Friend of mine is seeing with a man almost for a year. They do not have a commitment because he said he didn't want any obligation in his relationship since they met first time. She is suffering from that relationship, so she asked me what should she do. And I drew 6 cards first, empress appeared in 'what is she missing about him or that relationship' position.

My immediate thought was not just 'other woman', I thought 'wife in his past'.

Actually sometimes I thought he might have married when my friend talked to me about them. I don't know why, just I thought so. My friend met him when he was 32 years old, I mean there's no reason that I feel he might have married once. But I have that kind of intuition, so I was a bit afraid if my reading was affected by my thought. That's why I drew one more card as a clarity card for Empress, it was 9/swords.

Then I'm just stuck here.

It could mean it is just her anxious (9/swords) if he has other woman or wife? But it's not quite fit my question. I asked what is she missing. If it was just her anxious why empress card appered in that position?

I didn't tell my friend that this card could indicate 'wife', because I didn't want make her more sad. But I'd like to hear what other people think about this reading. If you got empress with 9/swords in this position how would you read it? If empress card doesn't mean 'other woman or hidden wife' what could it mean? Could you share your thought??

I used Fairy tarot, I did rx. And just one more info for interpretation, his mom passed away few months ago.

Always many thanks.
Dan.

rwcarter

dancingufo said:
And I drew 6 cards first, empress appeared in 'what is she missing about him or that relationship' position.

You have to be really careful about using "and" and "or" in both questions and positions. How do you know if the cards you drew are answering what's she's missing about him or if they were answering what she's missing about the relationship? If you wanted to know both pieces of information, you should've had two positions. And "missing" is such a nebulous word in this situation. Did you mean "what is she not seeing" or "what is she not aware of"? Those are two different things as she could be refusing to see something that's right in front of her face, but she could not know something important because he has hidden it from her.

dancingufo said:
My immediate thought was not just 'other woman', I thought 'wife in his past'.

Actually sometimes I thought he might have married when my friend talked to me about them. I don't know why, just I thought so. My friend met him when he was 32 years old, I mean there's no reason that I feel he might have married once. But I have that kind of intuition, so I was a bit afraid if my reading was affected by my thought.

You're the reader. The cards that come up are meant to draw an interpretation out of you. If "wife in his past" was the first thing you thought of, that's what you should stick with instead of second-guessing yourself by pulling a clarifier, which as you have found confused things, not clarified them.

dancingufo said:
That's why I drew one more card as a clarity card for Empress, it was 9/swords.

Then I'm just stuck here.

See above.

dancingufo said:
It could mean it is just her anxious (9/swords) if he has other woman or wife? But it's not quite fit my question. I asked what is she missing. If it was just her anxious why empress card appered in that position?

I didn't tell my friend that this card could indicate 'wife', because I didn't want make her more sad. But I'd like to hear what other people think about this reading. If you got empress with 9/swords in this position how would you read it? If empress card doesn't mean 'other woman or hidden wife' what could it mean? Could you share your thought??

I used Fairy tarot, I did rx. And just one more info for interpretation, his mom passes away few months ago.

Always many thanks.
Dan.

Empress as what is she unaware of about him? He's a momma's boy. He has a "baby momma". He needs a lot of coaxing and nurturing.

Empress as what is she unaware of about their relationship? He got another woman pregnant. His mother is controlling their relationship from beyond the grave. The relationship needs the proper nourishment to grow.

9S as clarifier draws the focus onto something that's weighing on his mind (if about him) or on the relationship. As Reader, I would NOT jump to the conclusion that this is another woman though. You could say something like, "There are issues around a woman that are weighing on his mind right now." That could be unresolved feelings/thoughts about his mother, that could be "baby momma drama", that could be a relationship with an older woman that he doesn't know how to tell her about, or it might be about something completely different.

She should ask him what's going on. You shouldn't tell her what's going on unless you are 100% certain about the message the cards are giving you. If you tell her there's another woman or "baby momma drama" and she breaks up with him only to find out later this his female doctor gave him upsetting health news, you have done her, him, their relationship and yourself as a Reader a huge disservice.

Rodney

Grizabella

I agree with Rodney here. And especially about two of the points he made:

1. The first thing that comes to your mind is what the cards are usually saying to you and you, as the reader, are the ones the cards communicate with about any reading you do. Our input here can help you, especially when you're new, but your own intuition will almost always be the right message. You may feel stupid if the sitter swears you couldn't be right, but most of the time, if you're sticking to card meanings and not your own opinion slipping in there by accident, the first thing that comes to your mind is your meaning for that reading.

2. Also, suggesting that someone is cheating on their lover or spouse is a very, very treacherous thing. Not telling is preferable if you see it in the cards, but you can talk about it diplomatically. You can also say something rather benign instead of blurting out (just kidding--I'm sure you wouldn't blurt it out) that there's cheating going on.

In the case where you've seen the Empress as another woman, it could be that it's his mother who will be an issue or the mother of his children. I don't see cheating with that card. Or maybe a sister or friend who is Empress-y might be the case.

Always remember "first, do no harm".

dancingufo

rwcarter said:
You have to be really careful about using "and" and "or" in both questions and positions. How do you know if the cards you drew are answering what's she's missing about him or if they were answering what she's missing about the relationship? If you wanted to know both pieces of information, you should've had two positions. And "missing" is such a nebulous word in this situation. Did you mean "what is she not seeing" or "what is she not aware of"? Those are two different things as she could be refusing to see something that's right in front of her face, but she could not know something important because he has hidden it from her.

Hi, Rodney.
I understand what you said. I should be careful to give a right question since questioning could be the most important part in our reading. I am trying to figure out what I asked, but unfortunately I think I gave both question at that same time. I mean about him and that relationship. And when I said 'missing', it meant 'what is she not aware of'. We're using different languages and sometimse people don't know exaclty what word we have to choose to translater from their own lanuage to English. Believe you would understand where I'm from.

rwcarter said:
You're the reader. The cards that come up are meant to draw an interpretation out of you. If "wife in his past" was the first thing you thought of, that's what you should stick with instead of second-guessing yourself by pulling a clarifier, which as you have found confused things, not clarified them.

See above.

Empress as what is she unaware of about him? He's a momma's boy. He has a "baby momma". He needs a lot of coaxing and nurturing.

Empress as what is she unaware of about their relationship? He got another woman pregnant. His mother is controlling their relationship from beyond the grave. The relationship needs the proper nourishment to grow.

9S as clarifier draws the focus onto something that's weighing on his mind (if about him) or on the relationship. As Reader, I would NOT jump to the conclusion that this is another woman though. You could say something like, "There are issues around a woman that are weighing on his mind right now." That could be unresolved feelings/thoughts about his mother, that could be "baby momma drama", that could be a relationship with an older woman that he doesn't know how to tell her about, or it might be about something completely different.

He said to my friend when he was young he had a girlfriend who 10 years old than himself. I think it makes me think he could have a wife in his past. I met him few times and got a feeling he had painful memories about relationship. She said he hasn't lied to her but ... I'm not sure if someone hide this kind of important things to their partner we can't say he is the honest one. Anyway... perhaps it's better to do reading one more time few days later.

rwcarter said:
She should ask him what's going on. You shouldn't tell her what's going on unless you are 100% certain about the message the cards are giving you. If you tell her there's another woman or "baby momma drama" and she breaks up with him only to find out later this his female doctor gave him upsetting health news, you have done her, him, their relationship and yourself as a Reader a huge disservice.

Rodney

Thanks, Rodney.
It was big help not only to read this particular reading but also to be a better reader. I will remember your good advice. Thanks again.

Dan.

dancingufo

Grizabella said:
I agree with Rodney here. And especially about two of the points he made:

1. The first thing that comes to your mind is what the cards are usually saying to you and you, as the reader, are the ones the cards communicate with about any reading you do. Our input here can help you, especially when you're new, but your own intuition will almost always be the right message. You may feel stupid if the sitter swears you couldn't be right, but most of the time, if you're sticking to card meanings and not your own opinion slipping in there by accident, the first thing that comes to your mind is your meaning for that reading.

Hi, Grizabella.
I saw that you gave a same advise to someone and I absolutely did agree with that. The first intuition would be the right message, so I'm trying to believe my own interpretation it's a bit hard though.

Grizabella said:
2. Also, suggesting that someone is cheating on their lover or spouse is a very, very treacherous thing. Not telling is preferable if you see it in the cards, but you can talk about it diplomatically. You can also say something rather benign instead of blurting out (just kidding--I'm sure you wouldn't blurt it out) that there's cheating going on.

In the case where you've seen the Empress as another woman, it could be that it's his mother who will be an issue or the mother of his children. I don't see cheating with that card. Or maybe a sister or friend who is Empress-y might be the case.

Always remember "first, do no harm".

Thanks, Grizabella.
It was a really good advice. Many people say empress could indicates 'other woman' and I'm still confused about this card. Not about this reading, when I asked my relationship I've oftend drew the empress, I tend to read it as myself but sometimes I'm afraid if it means really other woman. Can't figure out it yet.

Anyway I'm happy to hear from both of you. Can't help loving this forum!

Dan.

Absynthe

dancingufo said:
his mom passes away few months ago.

This is what it means. He has unresolved mother issues and if she passed and he didn't resolve them, that's why he's now having a 9 swords experience about it. People with mother issues project those issues onto female partners and it prevents them from having intimacy with others. Thos issues existed in the start of the relationship and now are giving him extra grief because the cause of them (his relationship with his mother) is something he now thinks is beyond his ability to resolve.

My advice to her is that he has issues he is best leaving her out of. She needs to give him the space to see that what he perceives as problems with her are actually problems he has with his own mother. He won't see that until she is out of the picture.

dancingufo

Absynthe said:
This is what it means. He has unresolved mother issues and if she passed and he didn't resolve them, that's why he's now having a 9 swords experience about it. People with mother issues project those issues onto female partners and it prevents them from having intimacy with others. Thos issues existed in the start of the relationship and now are giving him extra grief because the cause of them (his relationship with his mother) is something he now thinks is beyond his ability to resolve.

My advice to her is that he has issues he is best leaving her out of. She needs to give him the space to see that what he perceives as problems with her are actually problems he has with his own mother. He won't see that until she is out of the picture.

Hi, Absynthe.
How are you?

Yes. I did a their relationship reading again, because I realized my question wasn't clear. I asked what is she not aware of him and their relationship then drew one card eash question. I got a death rx as the first one, it made me think death of his mom. You could be right. Thanks for your reply!

Dan.

Marsy

Absynthe said:
This is what it means. He has unresolved mother issues and if she passed and he didn't resolve them, that's why he's now having a 9 swords experience about it. People with mother issues project those issues onto female partners and it prevents them from having intimacy with others. Thos issues existed in the start of the relationship and now are giving him extra grief because the cause of them (his relationship with his mother) is something he now thinks is beyond his ability to resolve.

My advice to her is that he has issues he is best leaving her out of. She needs to give him the space to see that what he perceives as problems with her are actually problems he has with his own mother. He won't see that until she is out of the picture.

This is spot on! I had the same experience, in the position of what was holding the guy back the Empress was there and it indeed was his relationship with his mother. Although his mother wasn't dead, his mother was very involved and a big emotional influence in his life. So what if his mother didn't approve of her? What if she wasn't too fund of his mother and their close relationship?

There were a lot of emotions tied into his relationship with his mother that in turn made it difficult to establish and sustain a meaningful relationship with someone else. He has no issues with casual affairs but he emotionally wasn't mature enough to maintain a grownup, committed relationship. She ended up moving on and he did come back to her once he worked out his emotional issues but as you said he couldn't do that while still being involved with her. When she walked away, it forced him to have to face his real feelings and emotions for her and come to terms with just how important she was to him. In which he realized he didn't want to loose her and he went to her and explained his feelings and what he was going through and how he wanted another chance to make is right.

Now they are married and expecting their first child. Now I can't say this will be the same for the OP in question however as it was stated in order for things to get resolved, she's going to have to remove herself from the situation otherwise things are never going to change as he will see no incentive of needing to do anything different when he can have her just the way things already are. Also the fact that not only does he have to deal with emotions pertaining to his mother, he also has to deal with the grief of her death which is not something that's going to be dealt with quickly and something a person would choose to deal with alone.

dancingufo

Marsy said:
This is spot on! I had the same experience, in the position of what was holding the guy back the Empress was there and it indeed was his relationship with his mother. Although his mother wasn't dead, his mother was very involved and a big emotional influence in his life. So what if his mother didn't approve of her? What if she wasn't too fund of his mother and their close relationship?

There were a lot of emotions tied into his relationship with his mother that in turn made it difficult to establish and sustain a meaningful relationship with someone else. He has no issues with casual affairs but he emotionally wasn't mature enough to maintain a grownup, committed relationship. She ended up moving on and he did come back to her once he worked out his emotional issues but as you said he couldn't do that while still being involved with her. When she walked away, it forced him to have to face his real feelings and emotions for her and come to terms with just how important she was to him. In which he realized he didn't want to loose her and he went to her and explained his feelings and what he was going through and how he wanted another chance to make is right.

Now they are married and expecting their first child. Now I can't say this will be the same for the OP in question however as it was stated in order for things to get resolved, she's going to have to remove herself from the situation otherwise things are never going to change as he will see no incentive of needing to do anything different when he can have her just the way things already are. Also the fact that not only does he have to deal with emotions pertaining to his mother, he also has to deal with the grief of her death which is not something that's going to be dealt with quickly and something a person would choose to deal with alone.

Hi, Marsh.
Thanks for sharing your experience.

Actually I had a experience about Empress too. My bf's mom passed away last year, that time we weren't together because we had a break up then reunited, so I didn't know about death of his mom. But when I asked to my tarot 'how was he doing' I got Empress and Death together. Because his mom was dying when I was with him, I could guess about the death so I contacted to him and it was true. His mom was dead just a day ago. Since then I got Empress a lot of times when I did a reading about him or our relationship. But for some reason I nearly forgot about this experiecne when I did a reading for my friend!

Anyway their relationship is more complicated. I should heard about them a lot, because my friend really doesn't know what the best way is. He doesn't want to exclusive relationship, she knows about it very well but she can't either stop seeing him or cut him off. He has one more partner it isn't secret for them. She already tried to run away from him, that time he didn't try to keep her but something happend to them again (blah blah blah) and nothing hasn't changed. He is still part of her life. I even don't know what I should tell her.

Can't say he is suck so just ignore him, because I know it's not easy at all. And my relationship is terrible as well(!!!), but I couldn't do anything. How could I say to her 'give him away! It's the best way!'?

Anyway, I'm happy to share this experience with you. The empress would indicate his mom, and I should be more careful to interpret. Thanks again!

Dan.