feelings getting in the way

I recently did a general 3 card spread for a friend of mine, just to see where they're at, you know the one. A quick reading just to pass time without much intention behind it. Well the problem I came up against was the reading turned out to be about my feelings for them, rather than a reading about their life. I was the querent, they were the question.

does that make sense? I meant to do a reading for them but it ended up being for me about them. Yikes.

I was really embarrassed, especially because my friend has a partner, I knew right away what the cards were saying but I tried to play things off. I was wondering if anyone had any tips on keeping personal feelings away from readings, especially when reading for someone you have a strong connection with?

Thanks!

plant witch said:

I recently did a general 3 card spread for a friend of mine, just to see where they're at, you know the one. A quick reading just to pass time without much intention behind it. Well the problem I came up against was the reading turned out to be about my feelings for them, rather than a reading about their life. I was the querent, they were the question.

does that make sense? I meant to do a reading for them but it ended up being for me about them. Yikes.

I was really embarrassed, especially because my friend has a partner, I knew right away what the cards were saying but I tried to play things off. I was wondering if anyone had any tips on keeping personal feelings away from readings, especially when reading for someone you have a strong connection with?

Thanks!

Click to expand...

I think you should be asking this question in the Talking Tarot forum...

plant witch said:

I was wondering if anyone had any tips on keeping personal feelings away from readings, especially when reading for someone you have a strong connection with?

Thanks!

Click to expand...

Yes, don't read for them.

I've determined that I cannot read for my best friend -- I gave her a deck so she could learn to read the cards herself.
My husband still wants me to read for him sometimes, but I find it's better to let him talk about the pictures himself, or come here and get objective opinions in the forum for his readings.

You have to SCHOOL yourself--train yourself not to let you own feelings get in the way. Or use the LWB to see what IT says about the interp of the cards. That way you can't cheat. But like Amanda says, sometimes you just can't read for someone.

barb

I don't read for family or friends.. Just don't do it if you think that your connection with someone will get in the way of the reading or if you think you just don't want to delve into someone's private life because you know them.

Years ago, my mentor at the time really ripped me a new one, saying I could not tell what I thought on a subject, I must stick to what the cards say about it. That very day at the psychic fair I was working at (which shows how long ago this was!) a woman came to see me with a 3 yr old and a 18 month old. Both were by a married man. She wanted to know if she should dump him. He had tried to get away but his wife was ill and things just hadn't worked out for them to leave and be together, so she wanted advise.

The cards were very positive. "Don't worry," they said, "it will all be alright!" I was surprised, the client was very surprised and nothing I could read would change it. "You are biting your tongue," she said to me. "yes!" I said, "I want to tell you to get the Hell out of here, dump this guy and start a new life and the cards won't let me!" She laughed and left much more relaxed. Did they ever get together? Did she leave him? I don't know, but I was true to the cards and let THEM speak, tough though it was!

barb

When my parent, siblings, and my friends are all asking readings , i sometimes get feelings in the way too, (and whey they did, they noticed and i am just laugh about it) but in neutral mood i just read what the cards showed.

I think when the question become too personal or life changing , you can avoid it if you want, but again, a deck of cards is just cards , it actually can't change your life nor it dictates your problems, let's just don't worry and be flexible and be happy

plant witch said:

I recently did a general 3 card spread for a friend of mine, just to see where they're at, you know the one. A quick reading just to pass time without much intention behind it. Well the problem I came up against was the reading turned out to be about my feelings for them, rather than a reading about their life. I was the querent, they were the question.

does that make sense? I meant to do a reading for them but it ended up being for me about them. Yikes.

I was really embarrassed, especially because my friend has a partner, I knew right away what the cards were saying but I tried to play things off. I was wondering if anyone had any tips on keeping personal feelings away from readings, especially when reading for someone you have a strong connection with?

Thanks!

Click to expand...

My belief is that the right cards always come up. And that the cards always answer the question asked. We are readers may misinterpret them, but the right cards will always come up. As long as we were paying attention when shuffling and asked the question first.

My take on it when this happens is that it was not specifically about you. The right cards did come up. Quite possibly the person you read for may have been having the similar or the same feelings that you were feeling about something or someone in their lives. IT does not mean the reading was about your feelings, just that THEY may have been feeling the exact same way you do.

It's been a strange phenomenon in my life with Tarot that this happens a lot for me too. Whenever someone hires me to read for them, I find that 95% of the time or more, the problem they want help with is something that is a problem in my life currently too. People I end up reading for are almost always feeling the same way I am about the issue.

Then when I do the reading it helps us both and we both learn something. But that does not mean the reading was about me. I am often amazed by it and how often it happens. Every time I get a question and they tell me what they are feeling and going through, in my head it's like ":Me too!" But when I give them the answer from the cards they tell me it is spot on...

I have noticed this a lot where are parallels between my life and the lives of the people I have been priviledged to read for. Maybe life is set up that way and that person who needs advice will be drawn to get it from someone who can understand their feelings and situation better. But it happens a lot for me too. But I would say the answer you were meant to give was not about your feelings but theirs. It just may well be that you both had the same feelings in some areas.

Babs

Also it is not usually possible to read well on topics in your life or in anyone you care about's life if you have strong feelings about the outcome. In those cases it is better not to do the reading and explain why.....that you are not able to be objective enough about the topic to do an accurate reading. That happens to the best of us. Better to be honest about it and not try if you can't way objective on a topic.

Babs

I know this is a little odd, but whenever I (try to) do a reading to see what's happening with my dog, no matter what spread or question, it always ends up being about me. She's the only animal I've ever tried to read for, so I don't know if the problem is that I can't read for animals or that I can't read for her. It bums me out because I'd really like to be able to do that.