A spread to honour the dead?

At the beginning of August, last year, I found out that my birth mother had died suddenly at the age of 42. I wasn't sure of the date, as I hadn't had anything to do with her, so having seen my sister online for the first time in ages, I asked, for the exact date, so that I could light a candle, and do a couple of tarot readings about the situation.

It was 8 days ago that the anniversary had fallen, so I have missed it, but I will be lighting the candle tomorrow. I have found this spread:

http://www.tarotforum.net/showthread.php?t=67590

That looks slightly confusing to me, but I'm going to try it out anyway, but I would like a spread which is more for honouring the dead, rather than grieving, a meditative spread maybe. I would really like help with this, as it's something that I believe I should do for my mother.

Thanks for this, Skadis. I'm praying I won't need it yet, but my Grandpa (you remember me telling you about him a year or so ago?) has been taken into hospital with a severe stroke. I might use this spread as a basis for a spread myself - not for the death part, but more for the grief part. Because as a family, we are all grieving. I can see this spread being able to be used as an honouring spread - you can remove the cards that don't feel apt to you if needs be. What might be a better idea is if you use that spread as a basis to create your own specific spread - that might be a better way to honour your birth mother than to use a spread found in a book or online.

here try this one i i think it might help you out. its a spread i wrote awile ago and its one of my favorites,

Destiny Spread

this is spread i wrote awhile ago, originally i posted it here and it is in the misc section in the index, but i have since added to the spread and have worked with it more to know how to bring out its values, so i decided to repost it and share it again
the spread is read for someone who has passed on. it helps for understanding, to have questions answered and can bring some closure.
i lay the cards 1-6 in a circle clockwise and cards 7-10 i just lay underneathe. i get either a picture or an object to represent the person im reading about and either hold on to it or lay it in the center, whichever feels comfortable to you.

1. what was persons purpose in this life
2. what were you to learn from this person
3. what were you to learn from their death
4. what was the reason behind their death
5. how are you to use what you gained from them
6. what do they want you to know
7. what is their greatest memory
8. what do they need that you can do for them
9. how do they see you
10. what advice/wisdom/secret can they share with you

the spread seems to talk about the person the reasoning behind their life, what they wanted you to learn and take with you from them, along with the whys and hows surrounding their death. it can get pretty personal and revealing be ready for answers you may get.

i hope you like and it helps you or someone you know

Sprite, I might modify that since my grandpa's still alive, but just modify 3 and 4 and switch the word 'death' for 'stroke'.

Thanks for posting this qn SkadisPhoenix. I agree, the spread in the link you gave does seem confusing... hey, I don't even own enough decks to do it!

But the responses have been very useful and the whole idea of this kind of reading resonates with me. My father passed a few months ago so I'm going to print out sprite's spread and in some quiet moment I will read on it.

Best wishes to you and your Grandpa, CelticDruidess.

OK, I've not been able to do the reading or candle lighting, or even get on here in two weeks, because of non stop drama with my housemates. They changed the password for the internet, and we've had the police round three times, we've had ambulances, and it's not been able to happen yet. I'll have to wait now, until August, and the anniversary of when I found out, which I was going to light a candle again then anyway.

I will be getting the internet back again, M has organised the internet, and the stuff we need will be arriving soon (I hope, being stuck in the house without the net is NOT my idea of fun. )

Sprite, thank you for that spread, once I have the internet properly (rather than briefly getting on, on the way to the hospital (by appointment), I will be able to look at it properly. Thank you though, it looks like it would be great.