A few thoughts about querant interaction

Greetings.

At what point with clients do you ask them their perspective on a card, their opinion or what it makes them think about?
Do you do so at all?
If interplay with the image, the client and yourself as facilitator exists, what do you strive for in hearing their critique, opinion, thoughts, etc. What types of responses shift you into a successful reading, and what types cause static or derail?

I am looking forward to this discussion amongst those of us who are often paid rather than the entire community.

I consider the reading & Querent to be an interactive process, but I'd say it really is up to what the reading says and the Querent doesn't. There will be times that what you see on the table makes no sense at all and you have to ask the Querent for a few details or a direction to work off of. There are times when you cannot PRY information out of the Querent!

In general though - I wait until the end. In my style of reading I never ask the Querent their question up front; when I get to the end I ask 'Did this reading have anything to do with your question?' In this way they cannot change their question, and I am not influenced by the answer they are anticipating by knowing what they are asking about.

I read using the same method as Tarotbear as far as I don't ask for a question. I just read the cards and after a few cards I ask if this makes sense, especially if it makes sense to me. Then at the end I ask again. I don't ask them to tell me how my cards make them feel, although since several of my cards are so literal sometimes I will, while describing what the card means, watch for their reaction to it.

What I find sometimes is that at the end of a reading where their responses were kinda "meh" is that at the end they tell me what they think the reading was about and inside I think, wow, really? And you didn't see the answer here at all? LOL in that case I go over all the cards again and it dawns on them that yes it makes sense.

I love doing a reading where the girlfriend sits in, because every time the girlfriend is nodding away... As a person who knows the querant, for me, this is the true litmus test. She sees it, you don't. Okay. You don't want to see the truth of the matter. She does. Then it becomes me handing over a lot of the heavy lifting to the friend who understands the reading, and she dots all the i's and crosses the t's for me. Whew.

Interaction is not forced when I read, and my advice would be to not worry too much about it. As readers we are intimidating, and so you need to coax them to see what you're seeing. As the saying goes, you can lead a horse to water...

Lokismile said:

At what point with clients do you ask them their perspective on a card, their opinion or what it makes them think about?

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Simply put, I don't. They are not doing the reading.

What I will do, though, is I will talk a bit about a card or combination of cards in front of me, then ask them what situation in their life is reflected in what I've just said. The answer to that allows me to go deeper into those cards.

What types of responses shift you into a successful reading,

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A successful reading is one where they enter with anxieties, and leave with relief, knowing what their options are and what actions they can take to better their situation.

and what types cause static or derail?

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The folded-arms-and-frown look, the look that says "I'm not interested, I think you're faking, I'm only here because someone bought me a gift voucher, I want to see you fail".

I don't usually ask the sitter what they think about the card or what they see but occasionally as I turn cards over, the sitter will exclaim "Oh! This one looks just like my boss!" or "Wow! That card shows exactly how I feel!" When that happens it's a golden opportunity to discuss their perspective.

I always ask if they have a question and it's interesting to note how tarot may pay homage to their original question as asked but often answers the real question that was on their mind.

nisaba said:

Simply put, I don't. They are not doing the reading.

What I will do, though, is I will talk a bit about a card or combination of cards in front of me, then ask them what situation in their life is reflected in what I've just said. The answer to that allows me to go deeper into those cards.


A successful reading is one where they enter with anxieties, and leave with relief, knowing what their options are and what actions they can take to better their situation.


The folded-arms-and-frown look, the look that says "I'm not interested, I think you're faking, I'm only here because someone bought me a gift voucher, I want to see you fail".

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I totally agree with nisaba!


I haven't ever asked the querent what they thought the cards meant or what they felt about them, as that is what I'm supposed to know. At least that is why they are coming to me.

In learning or on the exchange boards is another matter though.


Brightest Blessings!
BeyondtheVeil

Although I'm perfectly happy if the sitter interacts during a reading I don't ask them that kind of questions. I used to want to ask them if anything resonates with them but I felt like it was cheating on my part to alleviate my own insecurity about whether i was going to get the facts right. It sort of felt like cheating, although I wasn't meaning to. But there are all kinds of readers and those who ask that question of their sitters are often the ones who don't want any question or background from the sitter.

I do like a little background and a question. To me it's more important to be of the most help for the querent. I wouldn't go to the doctor and refuse to give him any background for why I was there. It seems like the same thing pretty much. Those who don't want background or a question might feel like they were cheating doing it like I do. It's a matter of what works best to help you provide the best message from the cards that you can.

Grizabella said:

Although I'm perfectly happy if the sitter interacts during a reading I don't ask them that kind of questions. I used to want to ask them if anything resonates with them but I felt like it was cheating on my part to alleviate my own insecurity about whether i was going to get the facts right. It sort of felt like cheating, although I wasn't meaning to.

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I don't ask questions, but usually the querent will pipe up during a reading and tell me *how* what I'm talking about fits into their life. I listen, and having that extra bit enables me to go a bit deeper into the cards. Someone on the forum (I've forgotten who) recently said that people routinely "test" readers who would never dream of "testing" their dentist by going into the surgery and refusing to say which tooth hurts until the dentist proves themselves.

I don't want people to give me background and detail, but if they tell me what the situation is that I'm reading about, then I don't have to waste valuable reading-time fishing around to find out what's important to them and what isn't - I can just go straight in. And knowing what I'm reading about hones the meaning of the cards in front of me and allows me to get a lot more information out of them.

But there are all kinds of readers and those who ask that question of their sitters are often the ones who don't want any question or background from the sitter.

I do like a little background and a question. To me it's more important to be of the most help for the querent.

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I've long ago given up asking for a question. My standard opening line is "Do you have a subject or an area of your life that you'd like me to focus on?" The "testers" will say yes, then refuse to tell you (which doesn't help with choosing spreads, I can tell you!) Slightly more open people will say yes, then say relationships, or work, or health ... whatever is important to them. I don't need more than that. This allows me to see much more that is relevant in the cards that fall in front of me, and I don't feel I am wasting time at the start of the reading, fishing around.

Basically we do pretty much the same then, nisaba. I don't want a lot of background, either. But knowing what area is good and usually maybe a few pertinent facts briefly. The reader testers cheat themselves out of a reading that could beneficial for them. We all do get those sitters from time to time and it's understandable ,I guess, to try to be sure they've got the real deal they just spent money on for a reading but as long as the money is spent, they'd get more value for the money if they could open their mind just a smidge.

Interaction

So, if you get a client who shakes her head at every single card, over multiple spreads, do you feel like she's not open to the reading? Do you feel like this person is in denial? There is no way that through 4 spreads nothing aligns or makes sense...

In this case WHAT DO YOU DO???