Using tarot for someones feelings about you

learningTarot

When you pose a question to the tarot- say for example you ask "What does this person feel about me right now" and pick a card- isn't there the possibility that the reading may not be very accurate. What if they are not feeling anything about you and haven't thought of you in ages. You might still pick up a card and come to conclusions about this persons feelings. Or say that person does not want their feelings revealed and hence the tarot cannot give answers. Is it possible that when we pick a card about what someone feels for you, we subconsciously pick a card which actually is what we think that other person feels for us and not really what they feel. What do you guys think? How have your readings been for how someone feels about you?
 

nisaba

I don't read for someone's feelings about me: if I'm curious, I'll just ask. Or look very carefully at their body-language.

I do however read for other people, much more often than I read for myself. That being the case, I don't really care one way or the other how someone feels about them: I met them two minutes ago and I may never see them again, so I don't have feelings about my clients or the people they are (or are not) involved with, yet I get them valid answers, according to those who come back for follow-up readings or who refer their friends to me. Those answers are not what I want to believe, I simply don't care all that much.
 

LeFou

What if they are not feeling anything about you and haven't thought of you in ages.

I agree, and even if there are feelings, they can be ambivalent and paradoxical, e.g., a "love/hate" relationship that many people experience with former friends, lovers, spouses, family members, etc. Feelings change all the time, too. Sometimes we feel something, and then another moment later, we think, "Uh, why did I feel that way?"

I still answer those questions, though, because even if there is not much chance of accuracy, the person wanted to ask the question so maybe it's something they need to ask, to work through. It's a story, and we need to connect the beginning to the end, and the middle is (maybe, so to speak) just how we get there.
 

Teheuti

I agree, and even if there are feelings, they can be ambivalent and paradoxical, e.g., a "love/hate" relationship that many people experience with former friends, lovers, spouses, family members, etc. Feelings change all the time, too. Sometimes we feel something, and then another moment later, we think, "Uh, why did I feel that way?"

I still answer those questions, though, because even if there is not much chance of accuracy, the person wanted to ask the question so maybe it's something they need to ask, to work through. It's a story, and we need to connect the beginning to the end, and the middle is (maybe, so to speak) just how we get there.
I only answer the "__'s feelings about me" questions in forums - for the practice and feedback. In professional readings I ask the querent to look at the broader, personal issue and ask something like "What do I most need to know about my relationship with ___?" or, if they want more specificity: "What do I most need to know about __'s feelings toward me?" And I wouldn't dream of using just one card since, as LeFou says, most people's feelings are ambivalent, paradoxical and ever-shifting and changing. Plus, people lie to themselves all the time - so they may even be lying to themselves about their feelings. And the querent may be lying about really wanting to know.

OTOH, I was on my way to visit a friend, when her newly ex-boyfriend told me about their breakup and his feelings regarding it. After I arrived, my friend pulled out her journal in which she had had an imaginative dialog with the guy about why he had broken off with her without explanation. She had written down what he told me almost word-for-word about his feelings! So, we often know inside what's really going on.
 

gregory

Won't do it. Tarot gives us ways to change our lives - and we can only change ourselves, not other people.

Also - and I know others disagree - to me it feels intrusive, If you want to know - ask the other person. If you haven't the nerve - then you have no business asking someone else to suss it out for you..
 

SunChariot

When you pose a question to the tarot- say for example you ask "What does this person feel about me right now" and pick a card- isn't there the possibility that the reading may not be very accurate. What if they are not feeling anything about you and haven't thought of you in ages. You might still pick up a card and come to conclusions about this persons feelings. Or say that person does not want their feelings revealed and hence the tarot cannot give answers. Is it possible that when we pick a card about what someone feels for you, we subconsciously pick a card which actually is what we think that other person feels for us and not really what they feel. What do you guys think? How have your readings been for how someone feels about you?

There are a number of different questions there. :grin:Here are my beliefs, from the bottom up:

-I don't think we subconsciously pick cards. What you do, hopefully if we are paying attention, is to close off our minds and follow our intuition that will always bring up the right card. So my belief is that the right cards always come up....as long as we were paying attention and not totally distracted or something in which case we might just get random cards with no meaning,

-There IS however a real danger that we can misinterpret what the card is actually trying to say about how someone feels about us IF we are really concerned about the answer. Strong emotions can taint what we see in the cards, and biais the answers we see.

-IF the person does not want us to know, then the cards can and will just tell us that. This has happened to me a number of times...The cards just told me that they could not give me an answer and the querent was not meant to know what they had asked. The cards CAN and DO do this at times. I have seen it before a number of times. If we are not meant to know, we will be told so.

-IF you ask what someone feels for you and the person has no feelings for you, the cards will then tell you that. If you ask what they have been thinking about you this week and they have not been thinking about you, the cards will usually tell you that. Although at times when we ask that kind of question I have also seen the cards just refuse to answer and nonsense cards have come up. As if they were saying there is not logical answer to that so we will not even try to answer. Try again to rephrase it properly and then we will; try again.

-Another good plan of action though is to notice and recognize when the question you are asking contains and unproven premise in it. Eg what has Joe been thinking about me this week, when you cannot be sure he was thinking about you at all. The phrasing of the question is very important to the way the answer will come out. For sure, if there is something illogical in the question, you can't expect to get the best answer. If it makes any sense at all. Like asking if Joe stopped hitting his wife yet and he has never done so. There would be not logical way to answer that. A good question needs to be logically phrased.

When you come across that kind of question, it is best to first verify the premise. FIRST ask the card to tell you IF he was thinking of you , and then you can ask what he thought. Although some people find this question immoral altogether and will not ask about others' thoughts and feelings at all. For me it depends.....on the motive of the querent....

So I guess that is my answer. The answer will be accurate if the reader can keep there feelings and emotions out of it, if the question is well and logically phrased, and if the reader is focused when they pull the cards. That said SOMETIMES the correct answer IS that the querent is not meant to have the answer to what they have asked, for varying reasons. Sometimes that is just the true answer.

Babs
 

Sparkle_126

Readings

Well, I am very much a novice at tarot, so I feel that I cannot read myself at all. However, when I get someone else to read for me, I find that the cards are accurate. Are they a reflection of my thoughts? Well maybe. Sometimes I think that. However, I also know that a good reader will tell me something about a person, then I will look and be able to pick it out, or should I say, become aware of it.

A few months ago, I was excited about seeing a person again, and a reader told me not to get excited, because nothing was going to come of the meeting. I said to myself, "well they are wrong"! But sadly, they were exactly right. In that case, I know for sure that I was putting out opposite vibes of what the cards were saying.

Just my thoughts...
 

learningTarot

Thanks LeFou. This makes me think, if we get a major arcana card for their feeling, would they hold more importance?

I agree, and even if there are feelings, they can be ambivalent and paradoxical, e.g., a "love/hate" relationship that many people experience with former friends, lovers, spouses, family members, etc. Feelings change all the time, too. Sometimes we feel something, and then another moment later, we think, "Uh, why did I feel that way?"

I still answer those questions, though, because even if there is not much chance of accuracy, the person wanted to ask the question so maybe it's something they need to ask, to work through. It's a story, and we need to connect the beginning to the end, and the middle is (maybe, so to speak) just how we get there.
 

learningTarot

Yeah, totally. What happened with me is that I sensed my friend was very upset and hurt. This was important and I consulted the tarot about her feelings with the question- "Is she hurt?" and I get "3 of swords." This sort of confirmed to me that she was indeed hurt but when I asked her she said she was fine which confused me and I started doubting the validity of my reading. I still do not know what to make of it.

I only answer the "__'s feelings about me" questions in forums - for the practice and feedback. In professional readings I ask the querent to look at the broader, personal issue and ask something like "What do I most need to know about my relationship with ___?" or, if they want more specificity: "What do I most need to know about __'s feelings toward me?" And I wouldn't dream of using just one card since, as LeFou says, most people's feelings are ambivalent, paradoxical and ever-shifting and changing. Plus, people lie to themselves all the time - so they may even be lying to themselves about their feelings. And the querent may be lying about really wanting to know.

OTOH, I was on my way to visit a friend, when her newly ex-boyfriend told me about their breakup and his feelings regarding it. After I arrived, my friend pulled out her journal in which she had had an imaginative dialog with the guy about why he had broken off with her without explanation. She had written down what he told me almost word-for-word about his feelings! So, we often know inside what's really going on.
 

learningTarot

I appreciate your reply SunChariot. I would say that I resonate with all that you said and it makes a lot of sense to me.

There are a number of different questions there. :grin:Here are my beliefs, from the bottom up:

-I don't think we subconsciously pick cards. What you do, hopefully if we are paying attention, is to close off our minds and follow our intuition that will always bring up the right card. So my belief is that the right cards always come up....as long as we were paying attention and not totally distracted or something in which case we might just get random cards with no meaning,

-There IS however a real danger that we can misinterpret what the card is actually trying to say about how someone feels about us IF we are really concerned about the answer. Strong emotions can taint what we see in the cards, and biais the answers we see.

-IF the person does not want us to know, then the cards can and will just tell us that. This has happened to me a number of times...The cards just told me that they could not give me an answer and the querent was not meant to know what they had asked. The cards CAN and DO do this at times. I have seen it before a number of times. If we are not meant to know, we will be told so.

-IF you ask what someone feels for you and the person has no feelings for you, the cards will then tell you that. If you ask what they have been thinking about you this week and they have not been thinking about you, the cards will usually tell you that. Although at times when we ask that kind of question I have also seen the cards just refuse to answer and nonsense cards have come up. As if they were saying there is not logical answer to that so we will not even try to answer. Try again to rephrase it properly and then we will; try again.

-Another good plan of action though is to notice and recognize when the question you are asking contains and unproven premise in it. Eg what has Joe been thinking about me this week, when you cannot be sure he was thinking about you at all. The phrasing of the question is very important to the way the answer will come out. For sure, if there is something illogical in the question, you can't expect to get the best answer. If it makes any sense at all. Like asking if Joe stopped hitting his wife yet and he has never done so. There would be not logical way to answer that. A good question needs to be logically phrased.

When you come across that kind of question, it is best to first verify the premise. FIRST ask the card to tell you IF he was thinking of you , and then you can ask what he thought. Although some people find this question immoral altogether and will not ask about others' thoughts and feelings at all. For me it depends.....on the motive of the querent....

So I guess that is my answer. The answer will be accurate if the reader can keep there feelings and emotions out of it, if the question is well and logically phrased, and if the reader is focused when they pull the cards. That said SOMETIMES the correct answer IS that the querent is not meant to have the answer to what they have asked, for varying reasons. Sometimes that is just the true answer.

Babs