Point of view is all
No, we don't have to avoid doing spreads and the tarot will always give the right card but it may not be in line with our expectations so we need to be mindful of the question. The question top 3 things my girlfriend likes in me may not at the end of the day be 3 shinning qualities so we can't automatically go pulling the positive attributes out of every card that comes up, if she likes it when he's under the influence of 5C which is hardly a positive energy then that's the truth, it may be the wrong answer in our eyes because it's not in line with our expectations but we need to get expectations out of the way because they act like blinkers. Did we actually ask for 3 positive attributes, no we asked for what she likes most, we expected 3 positive attributes and can't understand how a negative card came up in a positive position, so we set about putting a positive interpretation over it somehow which is completely over riding what the card is saying.
Okay. I see what you're saying and I'm in agreement with it. What you're saying,
simply put is that readers want certain answers and have to be careful not to create questions or see positions in a spread as giving them those answers. They have to be, as you say, *mindful* of what they're asking and what the positions are, so they know the true answer, and not what they want to be the answer.
Which is simply common sense for readers. And also a good warning to readers who often do love reading after love reading, hoping to get a card that says the guy or girl they've got a crush on likes them back, or that they're going to end up married to the guy/girl they're with, as they hope and pray. This makes them misread what the cards are telling them because they want that answer so badly, they'll see it in just about any card.
No because she's seeing running him ragged as a positive, we are the ones seeing it as a negative.
And no to you. If you're doing a reading for what the girlfriend *thinks* is positive about her, then you'd likely get a card that said she *thinks* it's positive that she's always in control and telling him what to do. And that would be right, wouldn't it? What she thinks is positive may not be really positive (not to us), but that's what she thinks.
But what if that "positives/negatives" of the girlfriend was in a reading for the boyfriend? Then, again, you wouldn't see that card, the one that means "running him ragged" in the positives. You wouldn't, likely, even see that "she's always in control" as a positive...not unless the boyfriend also thought it was a positive to have her always in control and telling him what to do. You'd see that "running him ragged" in the negatives.
Such questions are often about point of view. And if you're simply warning people to keep point of view in mind, then we're in agreement. But if a reader IS mindful, then I don't see the problem with such positions. I think the tarot can use them to get the right message across. Including, once again, tossing out a random card, maybe over and over again as the tarot does, to flag the lover and warn them "she's running him ragged" if there's no other way to get the message across
