Giving advice during readings (split off from Intuition Discussion)

karen0205 said:

I think you are missing the fact that readings are interpreted by the reader and that another reader might interpret those cards differently. No one reader is correct all the time.

I would never state yes, someone's spouse is cheating. I do not know one reader who can state that their readings are 100% accurate. I would not condemn someone's spouse as a cheater solely by my reading. I could be wrong. That's the bottom line isn't it? Readings can be wrong. They aren't 100% accurate so how can you answer life-altering questions with a definitive answer based on the reading?

I think it is better tell them what the cards suggest. They have to decide how they want to interpret that information and what choices they make. It's ultimately their decision on what they do with the information I always tell them to do more research, see what else they can find out before making a decision. Not to only use the information in my reading to decide.

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I understand what you are saying, but isn't saying that the cards "suggest" a spouse is cheating the same as actually saying a spouse is cheating? Let me put it this way, my client is going to hear "He is cheating" and that's their bottom line.

Village Witch said:

Are you saying then that if I suspect my husband is cheating that I can influence the cards to get a reading that affirms my suspicions?

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Not quite, but it's a good question. What I'm saying, at least as a working hypothesis, is that she probably has enough evidence subconsciously accrued from signs that are too subtle to put concrete expression to, yet too obvious for her intuition to miss, that the cards can illuminate (and it's also why she is sitting at the table with you). It's not a question of gnawing suspicion or wishful thinking, she isn't consciously inspiring the answer that she wants (or doesn't want) to hear. It's what she knows in her "heart of hearts," as the old expression goes, and the cards are tuning into that secret place and giving her a "nudge." It's really not much different from the reader picking up on that message intuitively or psychically, it's just one step closer to the source if the querent's direct involvement with the reading prompts it to appear. I see it as potentially more authentic - it just feels "right" - than me putting my own "vibes" (or those of the cosmos that I pluck out of the aether) into the cards, and the risk of distortion that presents. It's probably no less anecdotal and no more (or less) provable than one reader's "intuiton" or another's "spiritual insight," but it does pin some ownership of the answer on the querent.

Village Witch said:

I understand what you are saying, but isn't saying that the cards "suggest" a spouse is cheating the same as actually saying a spouse is cheating? Let me put it this way, my client is going to hear "He is cheating" and that's their bottom line.

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No, saying that the reading 'suggests' it is not the same as saying it is. I can say that
the cards suggest he might be. I would never tell someone that because
a bunch of pieces of paper are arranged in a certain way that I believe it means
for a fact that their husband is cheating. I don't know if my intuition is off
that day or that I might be assuming he is because she put that in my head
by asking me that question, so I could be looking for cards that fit that scenario.
I would say the cards suggest that something could be going on that he has a
friendship or some physical attraction for someone besides her and that she needs to
do more checking. Hire a private detective. Get proof before ruining someone's marriage.

So you feel confident that you have not been off a reading? You have faith in
what you have read for people to be a fact, that it will happen or is happening? Enough to
possibly ruin someone's marriage? I don't think I could be that sure. Good for you if
you can. I would be afraid I was wrong and be sued by the husband!

Village Witch said:

Are you saying then that if I suspect my husband is cheating that I can influence the cards to get a reading that affirms my suspicions?

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This is actually very interesting. If your state of mind is super negative and suspicious, and you ask the cards if a spouse is cheating - often that fear energy takes precedence, and the cards will just mimic that. So you can effect what the cards show.

Also what happens too often, is you go to a reader, you express all your thoughts and fears of what you feel might be happening, and then the reader just plays off of that information. So whatever the client is projecting, the reader often projects right back.

The challenge, is to not allow that projection to occur. So by giving too much info to a reader, often you CAN affect the reading-- because many readers will interpret the information through a tainted lens provided by the client.

If someone comes to me, wanting to know if their spouse is cheating, I believe it is my job to be completely and totally neutral and to not allow the clients fears/suspicions effect my insight.

That's why it's very important to be calm and centered when giving a reading or getting one.

karen0205 said:

No, saying that the reading 'suggests' it is not the same as saying it is. I can say that
the cards suggest he might be. I would never tell someone that because
a bunch of pieces of paper are arranged in a certain way that I believe it means
for a fact that their husband is cheating. I don't know if my intuition is off
that day or that I might be assuming he is because she put that in my head
by asking me that question, so I could be looking for cards that fit that scenario.
I would say the cards suggest that something could be going on that he has a
friendship or some physical attraction for someone besides her and that she needs to
do more checking. Hire a private detective. Get proof before ruining someone's marriage.

So you feel confident that you have never been wrong in a reading? You have 100% faith in
what you have read for people to be a fact, that it will happen or is happening? Enough to
ruin someone's marriage? You can also be sued by the husband for slander if you are wrong.

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Saying the cards "suggest" is safe and probably very useful. I trust the cards, but I mostly trust my own ability/insight/guidance. If i feel someone is cheating and the cards validate this as well, I have no problems saying "To be honest, I'm feeling another energy around him that's a bit concerning. You might want to investigate a bit etc" BUT if i have even the slightest doubt, I will refrain.

We can certainly get into some very deep water very quickly. It's probably for the best that I never ask the querent for a specific question at the beginning of a reading, so I'm not pre-conditioned and can't just project back what I'm hearing. I don't even ask directly about the affected area of life. The specifics always come out when I "check-and-adjust" (aka validate) any nebulous impressions by asking the querent to confirm or refute them. It reminds me of "scratch art," where you slowly uncover the color beneath the black field. By the time the reading is finished, everything that needs to be is usually out in the open, but the cards have already spoken their piece and the querent has responded. This cautious, step-wise approach has served me well.

ETA: I should note that this is how I've always read tarot. My Lenormand style is still emerging. So far I've mainly done "situational" readings (9-card and GT), very few single-question ones. I didn't ask for a question or situation overview in any of the cases and the readings were quite effective. Although Lenormand is intrinsically more literal than tarot, I still start in a fairly "impressionistic" way (broad strokes as as opposed to immediately trying for a "photo-realistic" view), and then dial in the focus. This in istelf promotes "suggestion."

karen0205 said:

No, saying that the reading 'suggests' it is not the same as saying it is. I can say that the cards suggest he might be. I would never tell someone that because a bunch of pieces of paper are arranged in a certain way that I believe it means for a fact that their husband is cheating. I don't know if my intuition is off that day or that I might be assuming he is because she put that in my head by asking me that question, so I could be looking for cards that fit that scenario. I would say the cards suggest that something could be going on that he has a friendship or some physical attraction for someone besides her and that she needs to do more checking. Hire a private detective. Get proof before ruining someone's marriage.

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I understand what you are saying and I would never say to a person that "Yes. Your spouse is cheating." I would, however, say that the cards indicate that he/she is involved in what appears to be intimacy with another person, but that I don't know what exactly that intimacy is. I didn't mean to suggest that I would blantantly tell a person their spouse was cheating. I was pointing out that no matter how I phrased it, the client would hear "cheating".

karen0205 said:

So you feel confident that you have not been off a reading? You have faith in what you have read for people to be a fact, that it will happen or is happening? Enough to possibly ruin someone's marriage? I don't think I could be that sure. Good for you if you can. I would be afraid I was wrong and be sued by the husband!

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Absolutely not. I did not mean to imply so.

intothemusic said:

Also what happens too often, is you go to a reader, you express all your thoughts and fears of what you feel might be happening, and then the reader just plays off of that information. So whatever the client is projecting, the reader often projects right back.

The challenge, is to not allow that projection to occur. So by giving too much info to a reader, often you CAN affect the reading-- because many readers will interpret the information through a tainted lens provided by the client.

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I do spirit readings as a psychic/medium. The first thing I tell a client is to not feed me information. I tell them it is important for me to establish to them that I am for real before engaging in any dialog with the deceased.

I had a client wanting an Lenormand reading. She was influencing the cards so badly that I had to stop the read and put up shields. Once I did so, the reading came together.

Village Witch said:

I had a client wanting an Lenormand reading. She was influencing the cards so badly that I had to stop the read and put up shields. Once I did so, the reading came together.

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Been there. It's always a little tricky - because you want to be able to connect with their energy - but if their energy is super-whack - it's best to protect yourself and just advise from an energetic distance!