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Declining a reading

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Migdal93's Avatar
Migdal93  Migdal93 is offline
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I got a request from a mother, to read for her 13 year old son.

Seriously? I don't know if you can read to teens, but to me it felt wrong. Just wrong.

I politely said no and added "While tarot is not a bad tool, I don't think a young person would know what to do with the in depth information."

I don't think a 13 year old, no matter how mature they may be, has the emotional intelligence of an adult and thus, reading for them would have to be real sugar coated. I don't believe sugar coating what the cards have to say is a good thing.
Top   #11
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Migdal93 View Post
I got a request from a mother, to read for her 13 year old son.

Seriously? I don't know if you can read to teens, but to me it felt wrong. Just wrong.
I hadn't thought of there being a "minimum age" but what you say makes a lot of sense. I guess it would depend on the kid, but if it's the mother asking for him, then he's very probably too young.
Top   #12
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Well, outside the forum I only read for friends and relatives, so I find it pretty easy to turn them down in a reasonable way. I decline questions of they can't be answered seriously with the Tarot or if I get the impression that my querent will be too dependent on the reading. In the latter case, I'll suggest a reframing of the question.

In your case, I think you decided absolutely correctly. I struggle with the wish to help everyone myself, but we can't help everyone with everything. People got their own lives and we play mostly a very small role in it.
Top   #13
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Quote:
Originally Posted by JMI_Tarot View Post
That's a very, very good idea. Encourage people to take control and give them some direction to do so.
Psych central > lib > common-hotline-phone - when I click on the link after searching for national hotline phone numbers it takes me to the page, but I haven't navigated the site to see how to get to the phone #'s from the homepage. It lists for US & UK. I have it printed for my use.
Top   #14
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Quote:
Originally Posted by violetdaisy View Post
Psych central > lib > common-hotline-phone - when I click on the link after searching for national hotline phone numbers it takes me to the page, but I haven't navigated the site to see how to get to the phone #'s from the homepage. It lists for US & UK. I have it printed for my use.
I understand there are a lot of online resources as well which is something a lot of people are more comfortable using than a telephone hotline.
Top   #15
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I've had to turn people away because I felt that their question was too serious for what I was offering.
I used to do free readings online to "break-in" decks, and with the deck in question I had explained that it was an emotions-based oracle and to keep that in mind when asking questions. Yet I got a question about what to do about a situation. The question was vague enough for me to have almost zero context to work with but also for me to get the feeling that whatever it was, it was pretty serious. I told them that I felt like I wasn't what they were looking for, and to either contact a reader with more experience or to get professional guidance.

As for worrying about being polite when turning someone down, I always tell people I'm sorry about their situation, hope they find a solution, and wish them the best.
Top   #16
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I'd have said:

"Reading on this question is going to have to be just for fun, OK? Let's put out some cards and see what they say. Then we can look back at the outcome and see how close we came to a real answer once you've found out for real. Be sure to let me know once you've taken a pregnancy test or seen the doctor."

As for readings in general about things we're not comfortable with, I always consider the sitters feelings when I decline a reading. It's rare that I do decline. But I decline in the best way for saving face for the sitter, so as not to make them feel like they're a creep for even asking the question. Often, we can decide on adjusting something about the question in order to make it work out well.

The questions I don't like answering are "Is this person gay?" I use tact but I really won't read on that particular issue at all. Another one is "what's this person's relationship with their wife or partner like?" I've read on that a time or two, but I really didn't like doing it at all and I haven't done it in a really long time.
Top   #17
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I will not knowingly do a reading for the dead. People ask for it--at parties! they really want a medium reading that tells them their loved one is fine. I won't do it.

I DO read where they were when still alive--in the past. I had someone ask about a boyfriend who had died. She wanted to know if he had lived, would he have married her. The answer: he loved her, but he loved his freedom more.

barb
Top   #18
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13 Years too young?? I was 8 when I started reading cards with my granny. Before then I had little patience or she had shown me before. In my family with 12 you are allowed to read for strangers, so I don't think 13 is too young at all. Grown ups, while expecting too much of young people in many ways, also tend to underestimate them by far.
Top   #19
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Arania View Post
13 Years too young?? I was 8 when I started reading cards with my granny. Before then I had little patience or she had shown me before. In my family with 12 you are allowed to read for strangers, so I don't think 13 is too young at all. Grown ups, while expecting too much of young people in many ways, also tend to underestimate them by far.
For reading, sure. I agree that you can start learning Tarot at almost any age. However I do think having a parent ask an adult (with no relation to the kid) to do a reading for them is a little... icky. At least to me, anyway. I definitely wouldn't want to read for a stranger under the age of say, 16 (and I'm 21, so that limit will probably raise with age).
Top   #20




 


 


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