Over-Asking in Tarot

MadeiraDarling

I'm new and I find that I sometimes ask a question, get the answer that I actually want, but then I continue to ask to confirm myself. At first it will confirm by telling me the same thing in a different way, and then it starts actually giving me contradictory answers from my first reading.

I know that I shouldn't be over-asking and I need to work on that. But when I overdo it and end up asking too many times should I just trust the first reading?

Also, I'm sure I'm not the only one who does this - how do others keep themselves in check?

I pretty much don't read for myself, as I'm just downright bad at it. I'd try and treat the deck like a person in a way, if you keep asking it the same question it's going to get annoyed, just like if you keep bugging a parent as to "But wheeeeeen are we getting icecream" you may just find yourself not getting icecream at all, you know? Respect your decks, they probably don't want to be pestered again and again with the same query, you know?
 

jenster

I'm new and I find that I sometimes ask a question, get the answer that I actually want, but then I continue to ask to confirm myself. At first it will confirm by telling me the same thing in a different way, and then it starts actually giving me contradictory answers from my first reading.

I know that I shouldn't be over-asking and I need to work on that. But when I overdo it and end up asking too many times should I just trust the first reading?

Also, I'm sure I'm not the only one who does this - how do others keep themselves in check?

1. Remembering that without a deep change in circumstances your first reading on the matter is still valid, still developing and trying to find for it being accurate or not in every day life. Be your own feedback.

2. Learning and getting good has a lot to do with the quality of your readings. So with the feedback of point 1. examine and re-examine your reading, the same reading to add flesh to its meaning until it's a structured and cohesive story.

3. Avoiding asking about the same things by doing daily draws for small matters and putting in them all the care and concentration you can. Like "what should I do today to evolve into a better human".

4. Realizing we ask the tarot to have some insight into what is happening in our reality and avoiding to pay attention to reality by asking obsessively the tarot is at least a paradox. Reality is there, tarot gave you a few clues, now look at it.

5. When we ask the first time the situation we are asking about is fresh in our minds as what we've perceived in reality. But in following reading what is fresh in our minds isn't reality, at least not entirely. It's mixed with what we thought the tarot told us. This, with every consecutive reading, gets farther and farther away from the truth like a story changes from mouth to mouth; the first is probably the closest to the truth but then our embellishments make it almost a work of fiction.

Things like that. As you can tell I was an avid over-reader when I first started.
Mainly this is what kept me from it:

Reading past the first aren't worth very much at all.
 

Desert Girl

1. Remembering that without a deep change in circumstances your first reading on the matter is still valid, still developing and trying to find for it being accurate or not in every day life. Be your own feedback.

This wording really stuck out to me. I often see people mentioning that they read again when "circumstances" change and perhaps I took this was too loosely, accounting for very small details that changed (like someone sending an e-mail...when perhaps that's not really a change because they'd actually already been thinking about sending it for a week...). Need to wait until a significant change or time has passed!

5. When we ask the first time the situation we are asking about is fresh in our minds as what we've perceived in reality. But in following reading what is fresh in our minds isn't reality, at least not entirely. It's mixed with what we thought the tarot told us. This, with every consecutive reading, gets farther and farther away from the truth like a story changes from mouth to mouth; the first is probably the closest to the truth but then our embellishments make it almost a work of fiction.

Good pointer here too! It reminds me a bit of that game everyone plays as children where you whisper a phrase into someone's ear and see how it changes by the end of the line...
 

Desert Girl

I pretty much don't read for myself, as I'm just downright bad at it. I'd try and treat the deck like a person in a way, if you keep asking it the same question it's going to get annoyed, just like if you keep bugging a parent as to "But wheeeeeen are we getting icecream" you may just find yourself not getting icecream at all, you know? Respect your decks, they probably don't want to be pestered again and again with the same query, you know?

In fact, I think I can tell when it's annoyed. All of a sudden I keep getting Death, 10 of Swords and 4 of Swords as the answers to my questions - as if to say, "Go away! I already told you!"
 

Arania

That, or the fool will keep popping up to be taken literally :)
 

tarot_quest

1. Remembering that without a deep change in circumstances your first reading on the matter is still valid, still developing and trying to find for it being accurate or not in every day life. Be your own feedback.

2. Learning and getting good has a lot to do with the quality of your readings. So with the feedback of point 1. examine and re-examine your reading, the same reading to add flesh to its meaning until it's a structured and cohesive story.

3. Avoiding asking about the same things by doing daily draws for small matters and putting in them all the care and concentration you can. Like "what should I do today to evolve into a better human".

4. Realizing we ask the tarot to have some insight into what is happening in our reality and avoiding to pay attention to reality by asking obsessively the tarot is at least a paradox. Reality is there, tarot gave you a few clues, now look at it.

5. When we ask the first time the situation we are asking about is fresh in our minds as what we've perceived in reality. But in following reading what is fresh in our minds isn't reality, at least not entirely. It's mixed with what we thought the tarot told us. This, with every consecutive reading, gets farther and farther away from the truth like a story changes from mouth to mouth; the first is probably the closest to the truth but then our embellishments make it almost a work of fiction.

Things like that. As you can tell I was an avid over-reader when I first started.
Mainly this is what kept me from it:

Reading past the first aren't worth very much at all.

Thank you! I really enjoyed reading your post, plus what you wrote is really instructive. Concerning point 2, let's say that you get a structured reading, write it down and then later, you realized you forgot an aspect (something to ask). Do you draw additional cards and join it to the original reading?

I know that my worst flaw in tarot is to over ask questions. I am still working on it, after 3 years. I also noticed that the first reading is always the best and that subsequent readings dilute the essence of the message, as you said. I just personally think that when things get very stagnant for a long time, it is extremely difficult to do not ask your cards the same question. During those times, I need to hear again a positive message from the cards or to add more spice in my life! :)
 

barefootlife

I just personally think that when things get very stagnant for a long time, it is extremely difficult to do not ask your cards the same question. During those times, I need to hear again a positive message from the cards or to add more spice in my life! :)

Then what you need is a good 'check-in' spread, one that doesn't answer a particular question but gives more of an overview of what's going on in your life right then. There are lots of these out there, and they can give you an idea of whether you're moving toward that ultimate good answer your initial spread gave you.

For example, a really simple 5-card check-in could go something like this:

1-what's most important right now
2-what I don't know
3-what I need to know
4-clarification (on whatever you feel isn't clear)
5-guidance

A broad reading of what's going down in that moment is much more helpful in seeing where you are on the road to your goal than constantly asking about when you're going to get what you want. After all, it's something you likely have to make happen for yourself.
 

tarot_quest

Then what you need is a good 'check-in' spread, one that doesn't answer a particular question but gives more of an overview of what's going on in your life right then. There are lots of these out there, and they can give you an idea of whether you're moving toward that ultimate good answer your initial spread gave you.

For example, a really simple 5-card check-in could go something like this:

1-what's most important right now
2-what I don't know
3-what I need to know
4-clarification (on whatever you feel isn't clear)
5-guidance

A broad reading of what's going down in that moment is much more helpful in seeing where you are on the road to your goal than constantly asking about when you're going to get what you want. After all, it's something you likely have to make happen for yourself.

That's a useful remark :) I already do these type of spread. In addition, I can't help myself but ask again about the future outcome... I need to get better on this!
 

Ruby Jewel

I'm new and I find that I sometimes ask a question, get the answer that I actually want, but then I continue to ask to confirm myself. At first it will confirm by telling me the same thing in a different way, and then it starts actually giving me contradictory answers from my first reading.

I know that I shouldn't be over-asking and I need to work on that. But when I overdo it and end up asking too many times should I just trust the first reading?

Also, I'm sure I'm not the only one who does this - how do others keep themselves in check?

Spirits tend to just ignore you if you become a nuisance (laugh). Just kidding, but truth is, they don't verify their answers. They know when someone is becoming obsessive....(ie in the grips of the Devil card) ..... you gotta have a little faith in your guardian angel.
 

Desert Girl

Spirits tend to just ignore you if you become a nuisance (laugh). Just kidding, but truth is, they don't verify their answers. They know when someone is becoming obsessive....(ie in the grips of the Devil card) ..... you gotta have a little faith in your guardian angel.

Good point! What's the point of asking in the first place if I don't trust the answer? Gotta work on this!