Are you obsessed?

RunningWild said:

It's a passion, not an obsession. We never hear about the "obsession " of industry mavericks being told they should consult a psychologist, do we? No, we hear that they doggedly pursued an inspired notion until they achieved something great.

That some people malign tarot as an obession, to me, indicates not just some bias (cultural or perhaps religious) but also fear.

I regard my use of the cards as a passion, something that allows me to explore other cultures, art, helps me to think outside the box, and teaches me to trust my intuition.





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You're right of course, passion has a much more positive connotation to it than obsession does. Real obsession would probably include a preoccupation with it enough to keep you from attending to real life.

CharlotteK said:

I was reading about the nature of obsession in a psychology mag, and it described how thinking about something a lot, or all of the time, can indicate obsession. I think about tarot a lot, I dream about it, and I get tarot archetypes popping into my head when I talk to people. So it piqued my interest!

Just as there are downsides to obsession, such as over time a risk that it will, like an addiction, unbalance us and devalue other aspects of our lives, there are apparently also upsides to obsession. So, for example, it is hard, if not impossible, to be really great at something unless we are a little bit obsessed with 'it'. And obsession can drive us to be adaptive, creative, motivated, resilient, focused, determined, ingenious and capable of solving really difficult problems.

The crux of whether our obsessions are negative or positive is, according to the article, how we control them and make them function for us. It suggests using strategies such as distracting ourselves periodically to take a break from thinking about it, complete tasks that help us move on from the obsession, focus on a greater mission, practice grounding methods, and listen to what others tell us.

I thought this would be an interesting topic for discussion. How often do you think about Tarot? Is it an obsession? How do you make it function for you? Do you experience or see any negatives as a result of your Tarot interest? Do you have strategies for controlling it and if so, what are they?

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Rigth now where I am as a reader, no I am not obsessed. I don't even think of it once a day. Sometimes I can go a week or so without thinking of it.

When I was just starting and learning I may well have been. It was all so new and miracles were opening up around every corner as I learned.Totally fascinated, with how it all worked and with learning as much as I could about reading.

Not that it is any less miraculous now, but it doesn't take me by surprise anymore. I expect it to be. I know it's there when I want it and it's not going anywhere. I am happy and content with now it works for me.

But no more burning desire to learn everything I can. I am happy with where I am now. I will evolve as a reader I am sure, but it's less work now. It's just natural, a natural part of who I am.

But I could never live my life without it either. My life would be very diminished if I could not do my Tarot. It's still a huge part of who I am. I've pretty much relaxed into it, to a calm content inner state on the topic.

At 120 decks I feel I have enough now. I just ot 2 last week when the mood struck me. Felt I needed those 2, but before that the last deck was about 4 years ago.


Babs

I think the question is more whether your obsession is unhealthy or not. This varies person to person, situation to situation.

There are lots of people addicted to technology, Facebook, Twitter, food, drama, BS, whatever you can think of... this doesn't make them the most unhealthy of individuals, but it can point to a lack of balance and trading focus in life and interpersonal relationships (FB friends are not relationships imo...) for something more satisfying in the short-run. It's something many of us do though. Also, with all the "hooks" that are around us, either commercial goods, watching media, news-wise, politics, etc... much is there is to distract us from a better state of being.

If you can perform a test on yourself. Put away your decks for a month or so and don't touch anything Tarot related. Stay away from technology, other sources of things that connect you with this aspect. If you can get on fine without experiencing major dysfunction, then you have your answer.

I'm actually a strong believer in technology breaks. The mind gets "bogged" by all these idle connections we make day to day. Phone bleeps, twitter chirps, constant FB likes, etc... it all adds up and turns into a dramatic drain on our time and energy. It's important to balance this with proper intent if your goal in life is to be a truly healthy individual in control of your existance, rather than letting tech or expensive hobbies determine your true destiny.

This again, being a personal affair, has to be something you have to think upon. I don't think Tarot itself on it's own is problematic. However, I'm careful who I introduce to cards as this field can attract fantasy-driven individuals who are looking to support alternative realities rather than validate their own individual.

Though, I think what complicates the litmus test for this is that a lot of people here (including myself) use Tarot for spirituality purposes. So the person who goes to read the Christian Bible at night and kneel at the bed for prayer, for some people this is tuning into the "self" through Tarot and cleansing themselves of distractions and other thoughts that have been ruminating throughout the day. This in itself is a fine usage.

The issue is when it becomes a dominate thing. Like the bible thumper who goes door to door, pandering to "sinful" individuals to "correct" their behavior. The reader who reads friends without their permission and starts to tell them what to do. The "minder" who pays close attention to the "spiritual" integrity of those around them and then passes "judgement". Both will tell you they received their information from a "true" source (the bible, tarot cards, etc)...

Recently, a therapist at my husband's job had gone to a church group after breaking up with someone she had been living with several years. She mentioning being suicidal, but given her knowledge on the subject, she understood where the feelings were coming from but because this was on her only support group, these were the people she could go to when she wasn't feeling her best.

Next meeting, they surrounded her in a parking lot, trying to "bring her back to God". When she mentioned the break up had been difficult for her, they told her "Well you were living in sin anyway, so what did you expect?" It was traumatic because they had her in a circle and were not allowing her to leave. She said she would call the cops if they did not disperse. For some, this would be morally subjective. Like a Christian may write it off as them having the highest (literally) of intentions. For me this is a case of being "obsessive" to the point of dysfunction, in either case. As this "group" had lost objectivity and caused this woman significant trauma following the incident.

We have all met these "obsessives"... whether they are Trump supporters, PETA fanatics, evangelists, pro-lifers, gun rights activists... they LIVE for peer reception, to be referred to as the top "activist" or "enthusiast" in their order... same with people who sit at home 24/7 playing video games, spending 50% of their income to the point they can't afford their own way of living (they live at home). There are games that last several hours (or even 24 hours) if allowed and as such, people will not shower, will not maintain real interpersonal relationships and will "disappear" off the grid in these hobbies. They have almost no life, no sense of health outside of these things.

To me, all these people show serious signs of obsession to the point of emotional dysfunction. They have become too reliant on one single facit of their life, to the point it starves their entire existance of meaningful connections and they are actually losing the plot in terms of the positive aspects of these things. I say as long as Tarot is helping to improve your connections with other people and with yourself, it is not harmful. The moment it becomes a habit that hinders your ability to make positive choices for yourself, then maybe consider curbing back... but what is "healthy" for one person in terms of freq. of usage is going to vary from individual to individual. Some of us can binge drink several times a year when out and not become alcoholics. On the other hand, there are individuals who can't have one drink without falling back into a state of total dysfunction...

Either way, we are all obsessed about one thing or another. Our individualistic culture actually encourages this sense of "passion" in terms of our hobbies and what "centers" that individual. Whether it be politics, Facebook, other hobbies, Tarot, etc... doesn't make us "bad" or "individuals beyond repair". Though I have known people to go overboard with the occult, particularly towards developing psychic powers, etc... knew a guy who took acid in order to increase his awareness and psychic powers. So I am very careful about who I introduce to cards or these things until I see they have great judgement. And even then, I'm still not sure it is necessary to introduce. It's not that I'm worried about the stigma as much as I don't feel that everyone necessarily "needs" cards. I can go months without reading and my intuition functions just the same and it's a seamless existence. I use the cards as part of my spiritual practices in most cases and diagnostically when checking my gut. However, some months I am busy with work, working on other projects and not spending so much time doing energy work. So all this is going on, it is definitely on my terms.

Try going without a cell phone, computer or even a radio... it's very nice to live an old school existence every once in a while. I did this several months during a period of being "ungrounded" and I reconnected with my nature-driven self. In my opinion, tech can always "wait". I have clients who expect me to reply instantly to all their queries, but I don't live on their timetable nor does my family. I have hours for this and that, but the rest is focused on staying healthy and grounded in my "happy place", with my husband, my dogs, my music and my artwork. I only listen to news when I am working as it helps me to focus on what else is going on the world (as that relates to my field--communications design).

CharlotteK said:

I was reading about the nature of obsession in a psychology mag, and it described how thinking about something a lot, or all of the time, can indicate obsession. I think about tarot a lot,

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<grin> I think about nicotine more.

I thought this would be an interesting topic for discussion. How often do you think about Tarot?

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When I get online once a day, to come here and play online in a Tarot-environment. Also, twice a week I'm a professional reader, so I spend two days a week in a Tarot-saturated mindframe.

Is it an obsession?

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Nope. I'm not even really tobacco-obsessed, and it's clinically proven to be physically addictive. Tarot isn't.

How do you make it function for you?

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It gives me pleasure to shuffle my cards, and to let others shuffle them so that I can read for them.

Do you experience or see any negatives as a result of your Tarot interest?

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Like what?

When I was poorer than I am now and still trying to build the collection up, there were times of financial hardship. It wasn't a negative, though - I valued and still value every deck I bought then. It was a positive that I had teh financial discipline to afford them at an impoverished time in my life.

Do you have strategies for controlling it and if so, what are they?

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I don't think I need any.

Why - is Tarot a negative force in your life?

Thanks for some very interesting and considered replies to the questions.

I'm hearing that for all of you, Tarot is a passion, a hobby or a profession that functions as part of a well balanced healthy life. Consensus seems to be.that it is no problem to be passionate about Tarot unless it interferes with normal emotional and physical functioning or becomes something an individual can't cope without to make life choices. Using that definition, I'm definitely not Tarot obsessed.

Tarot is quite intrusive in my thought patterns, but this is my normal, I have a tendency towards being an obsessional thinker and that's one reason I took up Zen meditation 10 years ago as I hope it would help to train my mind to create more space between thoughts.

I've had a bit of a deck buying addiction roo and my collection has exploded but I think I'm coming out of the other side of that now

Good discussion, thank you all!

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One broad trend I've seen in my time on the forums is that tarot can be used for a kind of obsessive "self-mortification:" "Why doesn't he/she call me?" <asks the cards> "When will I see him/her again?" <asks the cards> "When will I find my true love?" <asks the cards> Wash, rinse, repeat. I realize that loneliness can be an all-consuming dilemma, but huddling with a deck of cards doesn't seem like a very productive way to combat it, and agonizing over it in a public setting is something I've come to call the "Lonely Hearts Club" syndrome. Note that this is an observation and not intended to be a criticism, since tarot is ideally a path to self-understanding. But its use can be susceptible to "tunnel-vision" as well.

Barleywine said:

One broad trend I've seen in my time on the forums is that tarot can be used for a kind of obsessive "self-mortification:" "Why doesn't he/she call me?" <asks the cards> "When will I see him/her again?" <asks the cards> "When will I find my true love?" <asks the cards> Wash, rinse, repeat. I realize that loneliness can be an all-consuming dilemma, but huddling with a deck of cards doesn't seem like a very productive way to combat it, and agonizing over it in a public setting is something I've come to call the "Lonely Hearts Club" syndrome. Note that this is an observation and not intended to be a criticism, since tarot is ideally a path to self-understanding. But its use can be susceptible to "tunnel-vision" as well.

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It depends of course on what you ask. If you're feeling stressed about why someone doesn't call and it makes you want to keep asking. May be better to ask the cards something like:

"I am feeling very stressed that he did not call. What can you tell me now that will help deal with what I am feeling in a more effective way?" For example.

Or for the question of when they will find their true love, maybe "What steps can I take to bring a caring, fulfilling loving romantic relationship into my life as quickly as possible?" Then those steps can be taken and we've done something concrete to help ourselves. Or we could ask about they whys and wherefores of why things are taking so long. Or for help on how to feel more patient on the situation until it does come along.

For me, more productive to address the feelings when you keep feeling impelled to ask the same question. Eg if you feel scared something may not happen better to address the feelings sometimes and ask the cards to show you what is good in the situation, why it is playing out just as it should, and why you have nothing to fear. If they can show you that, then you don't NEED to keep asking as the feeling that lead you to ask so repeatedly can heal.

Babs

SunChariot said:

It depends of course on what you ask. If you're feeling stressed about why someone doesn't call and it makes you want to keep asking. May be better to ask the cards something like:

"I am feeling very stressed that he did not call. What can you tell me now that will help deal with what I am feeling in a more effective way?" For example.

Or for the question of when they will find their true love, maybe "What steps can I take to bring a caring, fulfilling loving romantic relationship into my life as quickly as possible?" Then those steps can be taken and we've done something concrete to help ourselves. Or we could ask about they whys and wherefores of why things are taking so long. Or for help on how to feel more patient on the situation until it does come along.

For me, more productive to address the feelings when you keep feeling impelled to ask the same question. Eg if you feel scared something may not happen better to address the feelings sometimes and ask the cards to show you what is good in the situation, why it is playing out just as it should, and why you have nothing to fear. If they can show you that, then you don't NEED to keep asking as the feeling that lead you to ask so repeatedly can heal.

Babs

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Yes, a properly crafted question can cut through the haze and yield something that can be worked with more constructively. In an anxious situation, though, it can be hard to muster that kind of objectivity.

I tend to agree with Barleywine on this 100%. Obsessed beyond obsessed.

I swear to goodness some have been asking the same questions over and over and over for a good few years in these forums - the same questions at the same time as in a few threads and then for good measure over and over and over yet again likely because what was told 5 mins before wasn't enough or what they wanted to hear.

Addicted to that fix and just to get free readings sometimes I reckon. A vicious cycle indeed!

Re-phrasing would not happen at all as all they want to hear is what they want to hear rather than constructive ways of dealing with it.


DND

Barleywine said:

One broad trend I've seen in my time on the forums is that tarot can be used for a kind of obsessive "self-mortification:" "Why doesn't he/she call me?" <asks the cards> "When will I see him/her again?" <asks the cards> "When will I find my true love?" <asks the cards> Wash, rinse, repeat. I realize that loneliness can be an all-consuming dilemma, but huddling with a deck of cards doesn't seem like a very productive way to combat it, and agonizing over it in a public setting is something I've come to call the "Lonely Hearts Club" syndrome. Note that this is an observation and not intended to be a criticism, since tarot is ideally a path to self-understanding. But its use can be susceptible to "tunnel-vision" as well.

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SunChariot said:

It depends of course on what you ask. If you're feeling stressed about why someone doesn't call and it makes you want to keep asking. May be better to ask the cards something like:

"I am feeling very stressed that he did not call. What can you tell me now that will help deal with what I am feeling in a more effective way?" For example.

Or for the question of when they will find their true love, maybe "What steps can I take to bring a caring, fulfilling loving romantic relationship into my life as quickly as possible?" Then those steps can be taken and we've done something concrete to help ourselves. Or we could ask about they whys and wherefores of why things are taking so long. Or for help on how to feel more patient on the situation until it does come along.

For me, more productive to address the feelings when you keep feeling impelled to ask the same question. Eg if you feel scared something may not happen better to address the feelings sometimes and ask the cards to show you what is good in the situation, why it is playing out just as it should, and why you have nothing to fear. If they can show you that, then you don't NEED to keep asking as the feeling that lead you to ask so repeatedly can heal.

Babs

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Barleywine said:

Yes, a properly crafted question can cut through the haze and yield something that can be worked with more constructively. In an anxious situation, though, it can be hard to muster that kind of objectivity.

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Barleywine said:

One broad trend I've seen in my time on the forums is that tarot can be used for a kind of obsessive "self-mortification:" "Why doesn't he/she call me?" <asks the cards> "When will I see him/her again?" <asks the cards> "When will I find my true love?" <asks the cards> Wash, rinse, repeat. I realize that loneliness can be an all-consuming dilemma, but huddling with a deck of cards doesn't seem like a very productive way to combat it, and agonizing over it in a public setting is something I've come to call the "Lonely Hearts Club" syndrome. Note that this is an observation and not intended to be a criticism, since tarot is ideally a path to self-understanding. But its use can be susceptible to "tunnel-vision" as well.

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I don't know that that's obsession with Tarot itself though as much as trying to force circumstances that aren't there. Though there are people who are very prone to fantasy-thinking and this is why I don't just introduce cards to everyone I know. It's something that if given significant effort to, can certainly improve your life, but without objectivity it is not particularly useful in my experience. I have seen too many people go on a wild goose chase looking for their sense of lost fortune in the cards instead of looking inside themselves. I'm sure some break through, but it takes a lot to look inside yourself to admit you have certain demons and some people stick with fantasy style thinking because that's certainly far more pleasant than facing the scary demons.