Dear Marion, faunabay, and magenta ~
Has it only been two weeks since I last posted? It seems like an eternity, lol!! I know I am very very late with this story and yet, my commitment has always been to come back and complete my work with our group. Life has entered in. But again, when I look at this card, Undressing of a Salad, it is all right there. It is a busy card, with so much going on, and that is how my life has been since returning from my retreat. So much to do, things to catch up that didn't get done while I was gone, rhythms with work and family to re-engage with, laundry to wash, phone calls to make, bills, and even (late) taxes to pay!!
We started out with questions about what distracts us from fulfilling our potential. I have just lived my distractions, which is why this has taken me so long to complete!! What distracts me are the million little things I do and/or think I HAVE to do, keeping my eyes on the minutiae instead of looking up and taking action towards my dreams and higher ideals. And yet, this is life, this is MY life, we are talking about, so it is not something broken off and separated, it is how I live. A full life, with dreams AND distractions, part and parcel of the same life. It is Awful!!! It is Wonderful!!
Now about my retreat...I was on a Mindfulness Retreat with Dharma master Thich Nhat Hanh for five days. The retreat was called Awakening Together: to Create our Future. A perfect title for what we were doing with the faeries.
I wasn't sure how the faeries would respond to TNH and the Buddhist practice of silence and stillness. But they were wonderful. At first, they all ringed around TNH like they did to me, laughing and singing, but then they all sat down respectfully and listened. They told me that faeries are always in the present moment, so this was no sweat for them, though they often didn't sit still for so long!!
During the retreat, I carried the faeries with me at all times, in a clear bag so they could see out, at their request. They were very peaceful. I did a reading each day and found great strength in their wisdom. I had many challenges at the retreat as some unpleasant memories of the past re-surfaced, and the faeries kept telling me to stay present and that this was a huge rite of passage for me to let go of the past and move forward. They kept using the phrase "irrevocable change," which scared the pants off me!! I have always thought everything had a do-over clause, so this was shocking for me to consider, that I would make an irrevocable change and be forever held to it. But it certainly made me sit up and take notice of all my actions and decisions during that time; gave them an immediacy and a reality because of the potential that one decision would change everything in my life.
So a lot of what I learned in that time was about focus. Being present and in the moment with one thing at a time and giving it all you've got, which would be the best of you, therefore fulfilling your potential.
This morning when I looked at this card, I realized what a journey it has taken me on. In the beginning, I was drawn to Adroito, the blue faery. I admire his poise and balanced handling of three things, but only one is in front of him at a time.
Today, I am drawn to Sally, and her yogic Child's Pose, spine elongated, tail balancing her posture, wings about to take flight. I have a story about her, actually. When I finished my retreat and returned to my sister's house, she had bought me a gift, a copy of Brian Froud's Good Faeries, Bad Faeries. This card is called The Dressing of a Salad there, and the photo is 8-1/2" by 11" so the detail is amazing. The sphere in Sally's hand actually appears to have eyes, like an embryonic something waiting to be born. And news to me was that Sally has froggy feet!! I never noticed that before!! So she is crouched and ready to leap forward from a nicely balanced position, her future in her hand.
Long/short of the story is that right now, I feel I need more of Sally in my life, focusing on one larger issue from a place of poised stillness. Because of who I am, I know I will return to the juggling act of Adroito soon enough, because I love to play and have many balls in motion at once. I actually NEED to deal with the obvious right now (specifically, a major career change), and allow the million other things to just be there, in the background, without fuss, until I am ready and able to address them. This is not easy for me, because I am a busy, creative, social person, but I sense how much life will improve with just that one adjustment ~ deal with the elephant in the middle of the room and the dust bunnies will either shrink to unimportance or grow to be elephantine dust bunnies, and then you can work with that!!
Thank you all for your patience with me and allowing me to continue with the group. I have gone back and read the other groups as well and I learned so much from all the posts that I feel this card will be my companion for quite a while yet. I am honoured by the deep work you did in our group, Marion and faunabay, and send you and magenta much love and light.
Blessings on the path, and may we meet frequently and always with love,
Keavy