The Questions We Ask

barefootlife

I'm new to the forum (although not to tarot in general), and I'm fascinated by the questions that people ask.

When I phrase a question to my deck, it's always in a form that relates to the querent. What do I/they need to know, where am I/are they, what does this mean (for me/them), how did I/they perform at a task, etc. My goal is to produce information that's useful in a context that can be acted on, basically. In contrast, I see a lot of questions on the reading clarification board referring to another person not directly involved in the reading ('what does this person think about X' or 'what will this person do', or for example).

What kind of questions do you routinely ask your cards? What kind of questions do people often ask you? Do you guide querent toward phrasing their questions to get answers that will help them act, or try to delve into the intent of a third party?

Barleywine

Usually questions starting with "What, Why or How," occasionally "Who" or "When" and very rarely "Where." I try to stay away from those starting with "Will, Does, Can" and anything else requiring a "yes-or-no" answer. I don't deal with questions involving what someone "thinks" or "feels" about someone else. But with face-to-face readings for others, I avoid the problem by not asking to know the question in advance. They can ask whatever they want silently to the cards as they shuffle, and I translate what comes out of the draw.

BeyondtheVeil

barefootlife

barefootlife said:
I'm new to the forum (although not to tarot in general), and I'm fascinated by the questions that people ask.

When I phrase a question to my deck, it's always in a form that relates to the querent. What do I/they need to know, where am I/are they, what does this mean (for me/them), how did I/they perform at a task, etc. My goal is to produce information that's useful in a context that can be acted on, basically. In contrast, I see a lot of questions on the reading clarification board referring to another person not directly involved in the reading ('what does this person think about X' or 'what will this person do', or for example).

What kind of questions do you routinely ask your cards? What kind of questions do people often ask you? Do you guide querent toward phrasing their questions to get answers that will help them act, or try to delve into the intent of a third party?

I read on all questions. If the person asks a question, even third party, I ask the cards. If Spirit didn't want it known...it wouldn't be known.

When you ask...What is X doing when they are not with me? Then find out they have another woman/man on the side or married. They can then 'act" on what to do next. Then it usually gets asks..What should I do about it? Or how do I confront them?

Most questions aren't about self discovery, but about LOVE. How does he/she feel about me? Where is our relationship heading? Why did he/she break up with me? When will X contact me? Why hasn't X contacted me? Who told X that I didn't like them? When will I meet someone new? Who is the other woman/man? Why are they after my man/woman? ETC.

I ask about anything I am wanting to know. That is the point of Tarot/Psychic/etc. To 'tell the future" or to help understand something that you don't know. Or don't understand. It has personally helped me with understanding someone else's feelings then I wasn't so upset/etc. The way that you would have phrased it would have focused on me, but how does that help me understand their point of view? It tells me what I should do, but gives no understand of why/what's going on with the other person, etc.

My point is that all readers can decide how they want to read, but should be aware of what others actually want to know as opposed to what the reader wants to tell them. It's okay to want to read a certain way, but know that most people coming to a reader/reading are not wanting that info. They want to know about what they are curious/worried about.

Of course, this is my experience and what I do. Others may vary. It is very important though to understand that if the message wasn't meant to get through..it won't. My experience.

I have rephrased questions, but not to get it off the third person. To help me focus more on the question. The more specific the question, the clearer the answer.

Hope this helps!
BeyondtheVeil

Thirteen

Good topic!

Welcome to Aeclectic Tarot, barefootlife, and what an excellent discussion for this section! The question is always at the heart of any reading, and (IMHO) the better that question, the easier the reading will go (most of the time). For me, the most important thing is to try to avoid those yes/no questions [warning: lecture to follow]. Which is pretty difficult. But unlike a Ouija board which has "Yes" and "No" on it, there are no cards in the tarot that stand for "yes" and "no." So, really, yes/no question make no sense.

Of course, what people who ask yes/no question of the cards often believe is that the cards can "grant them a wish." If they ask 'Will I meet the man/woman of my dreams?" they think that a "yes" answer means "fate/destiny/magic" will deliver that man/woman to their doorstep.

But tarot rarely works that way.

When the tarot hears: "Will I meet the man/woman of my dreams?" It's answer is more likely to be: "Yes, you will if you do X" AND "No, if you don't do X..." Meaning the sitter really needs to know that extra information—what to do in order to meet this man/woman of their dreams (like, go the gym more often or pay more attention to the man/woman in the office next door at work). But that yes/no question can keep the tarot from giving them that information, and possibly losing the chance to get what they're after.

Which is why I think it's an important for tarot readers to come up with non-yes/no questions to help sitters get all the rich advice and information the tarot is trying to give them. To have sitters ask, instead: "How can I meet the man/woman of my dreams?"

Thus, in answer to your question, that this is what I routinely do. Make sure sitters understand that the tarot doesn't grant wishes. It offers, instead, directions to what sitters are after. Like a google map. So sitters have to ask the tarot HOW to get to their dreams, not whether those dreams are going to be landing on their doorstep like a free gift from Amazon.

How? Why? Which? Are the questions to ask. [/end of lecture]

magicjack

When a yes or no question comes up, if I change the question they tend to say to me "OK is that a yes or no"? Before I even pull the cards I explain there is a lot of grey area between yes or no and I will pull the cards and tell them what the cards say. I can usually come to a conclusion if the reading is leaning towards a yes or no. Sometimes they don't say yes or no because of this or that. Sometimes they say maybe because of this or that. I can't promise a yes or no and if I can't, I have the cards to tell me why and how to decide. My record has been pretty good. But I have been known to tell them don't let the cards tell you how to live,. If it's that important to you take control and tell yourself how to live and what you want. Just because the cards suggest he doesn't love you, don't let that stop you from trying to pursue him. If it doesn't work out I can only say "I told you so". If I'm wrong I'm very happy for you. (the future is never over until you die, so there is a possibility it still could happen). I think sometimes as tarot readers we care about the advice we give and don't want to be wrong or screw up someone's life because after all that is really why we enjoy reading for people. To help them and give them good advice and hope. I don't really know if he loves you or not. But these cards here and now at this time in the universe are telling me this or that. When people ask a question, that question is just a summary of what they really want to know. (unless you get someone that can't shut up) The more information you give them is actually appreciated and they have more to think about and usually they end up deciding them selves if he really loves them or not.

Tanga

I'm a guide - I don't delve deeply into the intent of 3rd parties. I may give it as a possibility, but not one to act on as if it's set in stone - more to help the sitter think more freely themselves around the issue and how they might then proceed.

I agree with Barleywine, Thirteen and Magicjack.

Ace

barefootlife said:
What kind of questions do you routinely ask your cards? What kind of questions do people often ask you? Do you guide querent toward phrasing their questions to get answers that will help them act, or try to delve into the intent of a third party?

They usually ask: Does he love me?

I try to give the person I read for INFORMATION that may or may not be helpful to them. And Good news for them. If they ask what is HE thinking, I will answer if I can, but they may not like the answer. One example that seems caught in my head right now: I NEVER read dead people--that is, not where they are now (in whatever afterlife their loved ones want to believe they are in or the Long Island Medium tells them the departed loved one is in.) But once at a party, someone (who was already a little drunk) ask about her boyfriend who was killed in a car accident. Did he love me? Would he have married me?

I searched down the Askasic Record to where he was still alive and found an answer: he had loved her but he loved his freedom more. She was NOT happy, but it was the truth and all I could say.

The only time I WON'T go after someone's thoughts is when someone asked after an ex. They want to know what the ex is doing now. The Answer: it is no longer your business.

For me, I may ask for information: what can I do about a Situation? is the usual thing. One thing I DO avoid is Why? Because there usually isn't a good answer for that: we do what we do because it seems the best choice at the time. No matter what reasons we give, that is really the only one.

Barb

nisaba

barefootlife said:
What kind of questions do you routinely ask your cards?

What does the person in front of me need to hear. It's pretty standard - almost my exclusive question <grin>.

Barleywine

nisaba said:
What does the person in front of me need to hear. It's pretty standard - almost my exclusive question <grin>.

Yes, the "Swiss Army knife" multi-tool of tarot questions. It's the way I work when the client wants a "general life reading." In fact, since I don't want to know the question in advance, it's pretty much how I work all the time. It's the cards and the querent having a conversation anyway, I'm just the humble interpreter.

gregory

Thirteen said:
Welcome to Aeclectic Tarot, barefootlife, and what an excellent discussion for this section! The question is always at the heart of any reading, and (IMHO) the better that question, the easier the reading will go (most of the time). For me, the most important thing is to try to avoid those yes/no questions [warning: lecture to follow]. Which is pretty difficult. But unlike a Ouija board which has "Yes" and "No" on it, there are no cards in the tarot that stand for "yes" and "no." So, really, yes/no question make no sense.

Of course, what people who ask yes/no question of the cards often believe is that the cards can "grant them a wish." If they ask 'Will I meet the man/woman of my dreams?" they think that a "yes" answer means "fate/destiny/magic" will deliver that man/woman to their doorstep. But tarot rarely works that way.

When the tarot hears: "Will I meet the man/woman of my dreams?" It's answer is more likely to be: "Yes, you will if you do X" AND "No, if you don't do X..." Meaning the sitter really needs to know that extra information—what to do in order to meet this man/woman of their dreams (like, go the gym more often or pay more attention to the man/woman in the office next door at work). But that yes/no question can keep the tarot from giving them that information, and possibly losing the chance to get what they're after.

Which is why I think it's an important for tarot readers to come up with non-yes/no questions to help sitters get all the rich advice and information the tarot is trying to give them. To have sitters ask, instead: "How can I meet the man/woman of my dreams?" Thus, in answer to your question, that this is what I routinely do. Make sure sitters understand that the tarot doesn't grant wishes. It offers, instead, directions to what sitters are after. Like a google map. So sitters have to ask the tarot HOW to get to their dreams, not whether those dreams are going to be landing on their doorstep like a free gift from Amazon. How? Why? Which? Are the questions to ask. [/end of lecture]

nisaba said:
What does the person in front of me need to hear. It's pretty standard - almost my exclusive question <grin>.

I'm with both these. "Does he love me" gets the sitter nowhere.

The Questions We Ask

barefootlife

Barleywine

BeyondtheVeil

Thirteen

magicjack

Tanga

Ace

nisaba

Barleywine

gregory