I've only read the OP, but wanted to add my thoughts before I finish the rest of the thread.
I admit, I picked him as my least favorite card! I figured he had something to do with jealousy, but didn't read his description until yesterday, when I chose him again as my card for the day. Reading that bit about how he's ugly because WE have made him ugly with our mean thoughts and cruel words...well, it had an affect on me.
Lately my dear husband and I have been arguing a lot. We have a new-ish baby (7 months) and of course her blessed arrival has thrown our household into disarray. She is our surprise baby, as our son (11 years old) was supposed to be our only child. Anyway, I'm getting off track. Pulling the Soul Shrinker yesterday, I immediately knew he wanted to talk to me about my husband. How my angry words- both directly to him and also complaining ABOUT him to my friends, my mother, etc.- are only making things worse. I've not only made the Soul Shrinker uglier, but I've made myself and my marriage uglier. I felt very much humbled. And I'm going to take that lesson/feeling and start making things better, starting this very moment.
And now that I better understand this faerie, I don't feel that the Soul Shrinker is a repulsive card at all. I think he's going to have some rough conversations with me that will be for my own good, though...lol. I'm pretty sure he's going to talk to me about my relationship with my in-laws, but that's for another day!