Collaborative Spread Creation #5 - Strong Negative Reaction

Glass Owl posted the following in the Collaborative Spread Creation Suggestion thread.

Glass Owl said:

I could really use a spread for a situation that I am facing and I suspect that others may benefit from it too. I thought about Stregaverde's Pesky Problem Person Spread but it doesn't really zero in on what I am looking for. I thought I should post a request here so I can get some help.

I am in need of a spread that will help me explore why I have such a strong negative reaction to a particular person and how I can deal with it.

I'm a pretty easy person to get along with and and yes there are times when I don't get along with someone or what not but this is different.

I get really bad vibes when I am around this person. I actually feel sick to my stomach, my skin crawls, I'm shaky. I feel very anxious, hostile, as if she is attacking me when she is just around the room doing nothing. I would like to better understand why this is happening, why I dislike her so, and what I can do to protect myself or work through it because it is affecting my job. I feel this need to keep an eye on her for some reason.

This has been the case since I first met her and it only has gotten worse over the years. Plus, it doesn't help that she is an unpleasant, cold person (and isn't liked by others either) and displays some sociopathic qualities.

Click to expand...

Some suggested positions (many borrowed from/inspired by Stregaverde's Problem Person Spread):

• What motivates the other person in general?
• The specific intentions the other person has towards the Querent.
• What is the dynamic between the Querent and other person?
• What it is about the other person that causes the negative reaction from/in the Querent?
• What can the Querent learn from their reaction to the other person?
• How can the Querent learn to accept the other person for who they are? (accepting is not approval)
• What can the Querent do to make the situation better for him/herself?

Rodney

Wow, I really like all of those suggestions, Rodney, and I think that they are all needed. Here are few more that I would like to see too.

~ I'd really like to better understand what type of physical energy that this person is emitting. I guess some would call it the person's aura/chi or maybe the atmosphere surrounding him/her.

~ I also think it would be beneficial to have another position to know what the person's intentions are in general towards others as well as their intentions towards me and then I can compare the two. For instance, maybe it will turn out that I am misreading the person's intentions and they are positive towards me but negative to others and those are the ones that I am picking up on.

~ I really like advice positions and I like the last one regarding what the querent can do to make the situation better for the querent or minimize the negative reaction. I'd also like some insight into what influences may be inflaming the situation or what makes the situation worse for the querent.

**Also I have been thinking that, from the looks of how it is shaping up, this spread could be used for any strong reaction to a person, positive OR negative! Now I am thinking of even more situations where a spread of this nature would be useful. **

Strong Reaction Spread (in progress) #1

03----04---------05---------09----10
---02---------07-----08--------11---
---01-------------06------------12---

1. What motivates the other person in general? (focus: heart)
2. What type of energy (chi/aura/mood) is the other person emitting? (focus: spiritual/body)
3. What specific intentions does the other person have towards others? (focus: mind)
4. What specific intentions does the other person have towards the Querent? (focus: mind)

5. What is the dynamic between the Querent and other person? (focus: link or relationship)
6. What is the nature of the Querent's strong reaction to the other person?
7. What it is about the other person that causes the strong reaction from/in the Querent?
8. What it is about the Querent that causes the strong reaction from/in the Querent?

9. What can the Querent learn from their strong reaction to the other person?
10. How can the Querent learn to accept the other person for who they are? (acceptance is not approval)
11. What the Querent should be aware of (or watch out for) when dealing with the other person?
12. What can the Querent do to make the situation better for him/herself?

Any ideas or suggestions? Anyone?

1 - what do you think about her
2 - what do you feel about her
3 and 4 - motives for 1
5 and 6 - motives for 2
7 - what you sould do to improve the relationship
8 - what you shouldnt do to improve the relationship
9 - the outcome if you do as said in 7

hope it works

Hi GO,

I haven't disappeared. Really. It's late and I can barely keep my eyes open and mouth closed right now, but I'll be back tomorrow. You seem to have a pretty good handle on it all on your own (and I'm not surprised), but I took a seminar with Joseph Ernest Martin at BATS last month and he had a spread that had some positions that I thought might be useful for this collaboration.

Bedtime now....

Rodney

Joseph Ernest Martin has a Protection Spread that he went over with us at BATS last month. Since the spread itself is copyrighted, I'll give the general essence of the positions without any layout.

There's a position that looks at what the Querent is doing or thinking to influence the situation.

There's a position that looks at the archetype of the person who's doing the most harm in the situation.

There's a position that looks at the energy that's causing the current problem.

There's a position that looks at how/where the Querent can develop greater understanding in order to help the situation.

There's a position that I don't think is applicable to this exercise.

Finally, there's a position that looks at what action the Querent needs to take regarding the situation.

Looking at what's (you mostly) already been come up with, we don't have a position for how the Querent is currently influencing the situation. The next two positions in JEM's spread are kinda covered by position 2. I don't know if it gains anything to break 2 out into the component parts. The 4th position from JEM's spread is covered by positions 9 and 10. And the final listed position is covered in position 12.

For this type of situation, I think I like either a bottom-up or left-right flow to the spread as a way of releasing the energies. Top-down or right-left flows feel like they trap the energy and keep it around.

In position 8, I think the second "Querent" should be other person.

HTH, and sorry to be MIA around these parts.

Rodney

rwcarter said:

Joseph Ernest Martin has a Protection Spread that he went over with us at BATS last month. Since the spread itself is copyrighted, I'll give the general essence of the positions without any layout.

Click to expand...

That spread sounds really cool!

rwcarter said:

Looking at what's (you mostly) already been come up with, we don't have a position for how the Querent is currently influencing the situation.

Click to expand...

Actually, that is what I tried to achieve with position 8. That is the Querent's part in their own reaction, what the Querent is contributing to their own reaction to the other person. (Maybe I need to just alter the wording a bit so that it is more clear?)

Position 7, on the other hand, is the other person's part in the Querent's reaction, how the other person is contributing to the Querent's reaction. So Position 7 & 8 go hand and hand, with the focus still being on getting a better understanding of the Querent's strong reaction to the other person.

rwcarter said:

In position 8, I think the second "Querent" should be other person.

Click to expand...

Unfortunately, I think that would change the focus of the spread. Then this position would be addressing a new reaction, that of the other person and how the Querent is affecting the other person's reaction.

I'm having a hard enough time understanding my (the Querent's) reaction to her (the other person) let alone worrying at this point about what strong reaction - if any- I may be having on her

rwcarter said:

For this type of situation, I think I like either a bottom-up or left-right flow to the spread as a way of releasing the energies. Top-down or right-left flows feel like they trap the energy and keep it around.

HTH, and sorry to be MIA around these parts.

Rodney

Click to expand...

I did feel drawn to grouping certain positions together and I really like the feeling of moving left to right, as if pushing the reaction away. Maybe it could be a design similar to an arrow?

02-----------------------------10------
---03-04----05-06----07-08------11-12
01-----------------------------09------



Thanks for all of your help and I'm glad to hear from you! I hope you had fun at BATS.

Glass Owl said:

(re Position 8)
Unfortunately, I think that would change the focus of the spread. Then this position would be addressing a new reaction, that of the other person and how the Querent is affecting the other person's reaction.

Click to expand...

I gotcha now! When I read that last night I didn't get that you were asking, "What is it about the Querent that causes this strong reaction in themselves?" or something to that effect. I thought you were trying to look at the interaction from both sides - other person to Querent and Querent to other person.

Glass Owl said:

I did feel drawn to grouping certain positions together and I really like the feeling of moving left to right, as if pushing the reaction away. Maybe it could be a design similar to an arrow?

02-----------------------------10------
---03-04----05-06----07-08------11-12
01-----------------------------09------

Click to expand...

I like the arrow! Not only does it release the energy, but seems to actively expel it!

Glass Owl said:

Thanks for all of your help and I'm glad to hear from you! I hope you had fun at BATS.

Click to expand...

BATS was a blast, but 'tis not the forum in which to have that discussion....

Strong Negative Reaction: Collaborative Spread Creation #5

When you find yourself having a strong negative reaction to another person, use this proactive spread to arm yourself with knowledge so you can protect yourself.

02-----------------------------10------
---03-04----05-06----07-08------11-12
01-----------------------------09------

Understanding the Other Person's State of Being:
1. What motivates the other person in general?
2. What type of energy (chi/aura/mood) is the other person emitting?
3. What specific intentions does the other person have towards others?
4. What specific intentions does the other person have towards the Querent?

Defining the Relationship Dynamic and Nature of the Strong Reaction:
5. What is the dynamic between the Querent and other person?
6. What is the nature of the Querent's strong reaction to the other person?

Analyzing the Reasons for the Strong Reaction:
7. What it is about the other person that causes the strong reaction from the Querent?
8. How is the Querent contributing to their own strong reaction to the other person?

Releasing the Strong Reaction:
9. What can the Querent learn from their strong reaction to the other person?
10. How can the Querent learn to accept the other person for who they are? (acceptance is not approval)

Repelling the Strong Reaction:
11. What the Querent should be aware of (or watch out for) when dealing with the other person?
12. What can the Querent do to make the situation better for him/herself?