Struggling to understand 5/Wands and Knight Pentacles

I am struggling to understand the 5/Wands and Knight Pentacles in a particular context.

When I ask the question 'What kind of relationship does he want with me?' I receive 5/Wands.

This card relates to someone I was dating for the last 7 months. The relationship ended a couple of weeks ago.

I received this card when we were together and now that we are not.

I pulled a clarifier and received Ten/Pentacles which has stumped me even more.

I see 5/Wands as a challenge, conflict, competition. 10/Pentacles to me is about tradition, family, inheritance, commitment.

His feelings towards me were represented by Knight/Pentacles.

Primarily I see he wants a relationship which challenges him in order for him to want to commit or perhaps conflict is being created by his family in this situation - they may be advising him in a particular way. I do know he is very close to his family.

His feelings seem grounded and stable and I think romantic (?) however my experience is that this Knight won't disrupt his routine for anyone which applies in my situation.

The action I am asked to take towards him is Ace/Cups - once loving, understanding, emotional, without judgement.

Thanks

5W - he needs someone who challenges him and keeps him constantly on his toes
10P clarifier - as that's how he was raised/how his family is.

KnP as feelings says "slow burn" to me. Those are feelings that will take a long time to develop and grow. They are feelings that will grow on his timetable not yours.

Is there a gap between your social class and his? Like---is he from a more affluent family than you are or vice versa? When you ask what he wants from you and the 5 of Wands appears, it strikes me that he just wants a fling and nothing really committed. I see the 5 of Wands at times as meaning flirting and going through the "mating dance" that we humans go through when we're seeking a more permanent relationship, so maybe he just wants the fun of the chase but has no intention of taking the relationship to the next level.

With the King of Pentacles, he's slow like Rodney says. He's nowhere near a solid commitment yet.

You mention that the action you're to take toward him is the Ace of Cups. The Ace of Cups isn't a full blown loving relationship. It just shows that there's the potential of that so the cards are telling you not to jump to any conclusions or let him feel that you're at all possessive or serious about there being something committed between you. He could be sensing that you're after more than he's willing to give.

Sorry, duplicate post.

rwcarter said:

5W - he needs someone who challenges him and keeps him constantly on his toes
10P clarifier - as that's how he was raised/how his family is.

KnP as feelings says "slow burn" to me. Those are feelings that will take a long time to develop and grow. They are feelings that will grow on his timetable not yours.

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That's interesting! He didn't have a particularly happy home life growing up. He doesn't view his mother in a positive light. He describes her as being incompetent, needy and difficult but that their relationship has improved. His parents divorced when he was a teen. He would often tell me how different I was to his mother and he didn't have many positive female figures around him. I am definitely independent and have my sh*t together.

His father is now with a much younger woman. She was previously his patient (!). His father was a psychologist before being de-listed because of this relationship. From his description of his father's partner, she is unable to do anything herself (cook, clean etc) and his father is left to take care of her. There seems to be a parent-child dynamic there. The father is in his 60s and his partner is my age (35).

Perhaps subconsciously he thinks relationships should be challenging, that women should be needy and need a man to take care of them. My own upbringing (being raised by a single mother) taught me differently. I was taught not to rely on anyone lol!

It's funny that his feelings are a slow burn now. In the time we were together he was very forthright, emotional and really pushing for commitment. It seems at odds to this Knight, and funny how people can change.

Grizabella said:

Is there a gap between your social class and his? Like---is he from a more affluent family than you are or vice versa? When you ask what he wants from you and the 5 of Wands appears, it strikes me that he just wants a fling and nothing really committed. I see the 5 of Wands at times as meaning flirting and going through the "mating dance" that we humans go through when we're seeking a more permanent relationship, so maybe he just wants the fun of the chase but has no intention of taking the relationship to the next level.



With the King of Pentacles, he's slow like Rodney says. He's nowhere near a solid commitment yet.



You mention that the action you're to take toward him is the Ace of Cups. The Ace of Cups isn't a full blown loving relationship. It just shows that there's the potential of that so the cards are telling you not to jump to any conclusions or let him feel that you're at all possessive or serious about there being something committed between you. He could be sensing that you're after more than he's willing to give.

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Hi Grizabella, there is a social difference in that he is white and I am not, however I never picked up that our cultural backgrounds were an issue. In terms of affluence I would say my family are more established. I earn more than he does and more established in career/education. You are reminding me of a conversation I had with my own mother. She was not keen on me being with him because he is not established in his career, earns less than me and did not go to university. However they are her views, not mine and he isn't aware of that conversation, so I can't relate it to 'relationship he wants'.

There is possibly something in the challenge interpretation. He was the one really pushing for a commitment, professing his love, calling everyday, inviting me to Christmas with his family etc. I had been trying to take things slower with him but decided to be more open to him because he had asked me to be. In doing so I think I no longer presented a challenge to him.

It's funny that yes now I am wanting more commitment but I am happy to take things slow. He had all along been the one wanting to go full steam ahead!

For me the Ace shows an outpouring of an emotion - the cup is overflowing. What I take from it is to demonstrate and offer love in its purest form - compassion and understanding towards him.

The advice about the situation came up as 3/Pentacles which tells me that a foundation can be established but it requires mutual agreement/team work.