Why would you want to know if some one is gay?

Helvetica said:

Who says anything about the only reason a relationship might not work? It might not actually break up the relationship at all, though it might strain it (see my post on my uncle and aunt). It is not my intention to offend and I fail to see what is offensive in wondering if my lover, husband or wife - or prospective - might be gay, if my intuition might be saying it is the case. You are presumably not in a heterosexual relationship so the question does not arise where you are concerned. But for those gay people who are and who might be discovering (or starting to admit) a new sexual orientation to themselves, and the partner senses it - don't you think it natural that the partner want to know?

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I was referring to dating. "If you are dating someone, and you think that the only reason it wouldn't work out is if the other person is gay" .
Dating in the early stages when you were still trying to ascertain if a relationship could work with them.

I wasn't talking about marriage. The only two situations I addressed were early dating, and a possibly questioning child.

If you are married to someone, and you don't know that person's sexual orientation, then that isn't the marriage's only problem. If you have to turn to Tarot cards rather than be able to communicate with your spouse, your marriage is in trouble anyway...and wouldn't it be wiser to address that than to read Tarot cards? My feeling remains, that trying to ascertain someone else's sexuality is a very limited and limiting way of looking at things.

I respect everyone's opinion on this, and I'm aware that even other gay people might disagree with me. It's just how I feel about the issue. No judgements.

Kiama said:

I can see why some people might want to find out if somebody is gay, but I have a big problem with the statement (that is often made, but luckily hasn't been made on this thread) that there are specific cards that can indicate a gay person. Gay people are just as diverse in personality and lifestyle as heterosexual people, so why stick them to a few specific cards just because of their sexuality? Kiama

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I'm new, and I hope this isn't an in appropriate question here...but... if you don't believe certain cards indicate sexuality, how would you use the cards to find out a person's sexual preference?

Kiama said:

I can see why some people might want to find out if somebody is gay, but I have a big problem with the statement (that is often made, but luckily hasn't been made on this thread) that there are specific cards that can indicate a gay person. Gay people are just as diverse in personality and lifestyle as heterosexual people, so why stick them to a few specific cards just because of their sexuality?

Kiama

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I agree. In fact part of the reason I do get offended is for that very reason, that some believe there are certain cards that can indicate a gay person.
Thanks for articulating what I wasn't able to.

VisionQuest said:

I agree. In fact part of the reason I do get offended is for that very reason, that some believe there are certain cards that can indicate a gay person.
Thanks for articulating what I wasn't able to.

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I agree absolutely! And I understand what you are saying in your earlier post, too - re: dating, and relationship troubles. It's true - communication (with a person rather than cards) is the better option. In an ideal world if I say to my partner - "I feel there is something wrong, I feel you might be having an affair with someone else" and it is true, then the partner will say: "yes, I am, I'm sorry, I've fallen in love with someone else." or "I am, but it's nothing, it means nothing" or "yes, I am, and it is another man". But unfortunately life doesn't always give us that kind of communication, and the partner might lie, and I am left feeling that he has lied but not sure about what...Whether tarot can help or not, I imagine, is very much a matter of time, place and person. Some people are almost pathologically jealous and I wouldn't read for them on that topic if I suspected it.

In any case I absolutely do not believe there are set cards or card combinations to mean someone is gay (or having an affair, or anything else for that matter). Tarot is a mirror of the human soul, which is fluid and far more complex than a simple - "is he gay?" question could ever answer.

I appreciate the time you are taking with me

I understand the reasons for wanting to find out, after all, it is only natural to want to find out, especially if you are interested in that person. However, likr others here, I have seen posts that ask what specific cards point to some one's gayness. From a purely proffessional, Tarot-technical standpoint, I really do believe that there is no difference in the readings themselves. If I ask if a certain person is gay, then I'll probably get the usual yes/no answer, or a range of possiblities.

But like others have said here, I kind of resent questions like what cards point to the fact that some one is gay, in the thought that it may change the reading. I don't imagine myself saying in the middle of a relationship spread "Well, this person is gay, so that means that his relationship will go this way and not that way..."

Not wishing to alienate anyone, it is difficult for straight people to understand sometimes that for a gay person, and this is sometimes, mind you, not always, being gay is as natural as it is for straight people to be straight.

On the other hand, if a querent has problems with their sexuality, then I believe that it will most probably figure as blockage, fear, perhaps the Devil, or Three of swords.

I sorta see the moon as someone hiding something, dissuliosment...so that could mean someone is hiding their sexuality...

Flidais said:

I'm new, and I hope this isn't an in appropriate question here...but... if you don't believe certain cards indicate sexuality, how would you use the cards to find out a person's sexual preference?

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I think the point that the other people on this thread are trying to make is... you don't. Honestly, people's personalities are so differed, you can't ask the cards what the person's preferance is and then assume you'll get a straight answer (no pun intended!). That's sorta like asking if the person had sex in their life recently: It usually doesn't come out clearly. And the emotions inside that person could be so messed up that you couldn't and wouldn't come out with a decengt answer.

What if the person is straight, but leaning toward bi? Or bi leaning towards lesbian? You can't have one or two cards specifically point to that. It would have to be a spread that designates that one position would mean what their sexuality is, and even then it probably wouldn't come out clear. It may come out extremely clear... but that would only be if the person is completely sure of where they stand and has absolutly no question of their sexuality at all. Though, if you're wondering the sexuality of a person, they might be wondering the same thing of themselves...

My two cense.

~Fairawen~

My problem with threads such as these, as I have stated in other ways on some heated threads, is that it is very easy for the unscrupulous to 'corrupt' such knowledge into something it is not supposed to be. By that, I mean people who are just too damn nosey for their own business, want to 'out' someone to embarass them, or other such 'intrusive' ways to use this knowledge should a 'certain couple of cards' come up in a spread that 'guarantees' that the person being read for is gay.

Likewise, no matter how enlightened or open you are, if you are NOT gay, then you have no idea at all, no matter how many gay friends you say you have as to exactly how hard or difficult it really is to be gay in this straight world. I live in both worlds; I am very, very out at work, but not in my family. At fifty years of age, my mother still insists that my father 'does not know' that I am gay. (I lived with a man for ten years ... what are you missing here? Men over 30 do not have roomates!) Those in my family who know, know; those who don't, don't. It is not a topic of discussion at family gatherings. If anyone were to say I was gay to my father, he would start an arguement. It's bad enough for my mother when Jed comes home with me ... so even though I have been dating him for four years, when I go to my parent's house, I can not and do not bring him. Still think being gay is a barrel of laughs? Do you think that the fact that somene could destroy my family harmony by 'outing' me, inadvertantly or otherwise, is something I could just laugh off?

I feel sorry for men who got married and had kids and then in their 40s decided to stop "living the lie." So many people will get hurt by that action.

For every argument you can give me for saying 'why' you should ask the cards to tell you that someone is gay, I can give you an example of why you should not. Some things are better left alone.

Fairawen said:

That's sorta like asking if the person had sex in their life recently: It usually doesn't come out clearly.

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Heh - now where's the spread for THAT one?!

tarotbear said:

For every argument you can give me for saying 'why' you should ask the cards to tell you that someone is gay, I can give you an example of why you should not. Some things are better left alone.

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Fair point, Tarotbear.