2 & 3 Swords

[moonpixie]

The 2 & 3 Swords (except in reverse order) came up for a question regarding what one person (who has quietly withdrawn from a friendhsip/relationship) would need from the other person to help allow their relationship progress or maintain. It was read for the second person who wants to understand what her friend may need from her.

I just don't know with these cards. Is it a case of she just needs to leave her friend be to overcome whatever difficulties they are having?

Any other thoughts?

 

[rwcarter]

First thought is that the friend feels some kind of hurt or betrayal at the hands of the Querent that the friend isn't ready to address with the Querent yet, so the friend has pulled away. The Querent may not have actually done anything (it could be a perception or misunderstanding on the part of the friend) though.

I'm reminded of a situation from High School where my best friend one day said "I'm mad at you because of what you did." I honestly had no idea what he was talking about and kept asking him to tell me what he was mad about. His response was only "You know what you did." Well, I didn't. I pursued it for awhile, but since he didn't want to tell me what it was that I'd done so we could move forward, we moved apart.

So as what the Querent could do to get past the 2S, the action might be to approach the friend and say something like, "If you're upset at me for something I've said or done, let's talk about it cause I can't think of anything I've done to cause this recent distance between us."

HTH,
Rodney

 

[moonpixie]

Hi, thanks Rodney. I actually initially thought along the lines of you, but the querant said she had definitely not done anything, and it appears her friend has other difficulties going on his life, but has more or less cut all contact with her because of it. She said she suggested to him they should remain friends & he agreed (so things didn't end badly), but she can't really understand why things ended this way & what if anything he may need from her to help maintain this friendship or make it grow.

 

[Anastacia]

Just rephrasing to help me get clear about the context.
The background:
They were good friends. He is trying to cut ties, saying 'it's not because of you, it's me'. She doesn't want to let go and wants to change his mind.
The question:
What does he need from her so their relationship can either progress or maintain?

The answer:
3 of swords
He is trying to cut ties, saying 'it's not because of you, it's me'
followed by 2 of swords.
She has managed to downgrade the pain of a complete cut off to a stalemate by convincing herself that they are still friends - but that is actually the best it can be. She may want to grow the relationship, but he doesn't. That can be hard to accept.

 

[starrystarrynight]

Another possibility:

Three of Swords: He has kept something he found painful to talk about with her under wraps. A Three could indicate the implication of a third party or entity in the situation.

Two of Swords: He is continuing to keep the peace between them by this refusal to talk about it.

If this were a romantic relationship, it would make me think that a third party has come between the two of them that she doesn't know about. If just a friendship, there is likely still a third entity of some sort that he doesn't want to tell her about, probably because he senses she will become hurt or angry about it.

 

[Anastacia]

I agree with Starry. If there isn't already a 3rd party there probably will be soon.

When someone says they need to end the relationship because they have too much distress going on in their life (it's not you, it's me), it doesn't usually mean they don't want any relationship. They just know that the current one isn't working for them.

 

[moonpixie]

Ahh, OK, it turns out out he is at the very tail-end of a divorce ~ and has just moved into a new apartment, etc, maybe some sudden emotional crisis.

So, the cards seem to be making sense here.

Thanks guys!