Figuring out weird feelings. Thoughts appreciated!

[SweetSiren]

I've had my closest friend for almost two decades. I basically grew up in her house, her parents were practically my own. She has a younger brother too. I love them all so much.

But something weird is happening with me that I don't want to talk to her about- I have these strange feelings of attraction rising up for her brother. I have been fighting with myself, "He's little Brad! The kid that sat on the couch playing video games refusing to shower. No!" These feelings are coming up out of nowhere. I used to joke about marrying him when he was older, and I find myself overcompensating and going back to these old jokes, I'm trying to keep him as that kid in my mind to try to get rid of the bizarre feelings of attraction. And to act on them in anyway could potentially open a can of worms.


So, I consulted tarot. I didn't ask a specific question, and it's from a big spread.


The cards that stuck out to me were:

Present situation: 2 of Pents
(I feel that this is obvious. I'm going over and over in my mind what could come of this.)

My world: Six of Pents
(Having a bit of trouble here. Could be referring to the fact that I'm older than him and feel as though I must keep the balance that was established when we were kids, as in, we aren't equals.)

His World: High Priestess
(He does remain in his own world and doesn't really share anything with anyone. He likes keeping to himself.)

Obstacles: King of Swords
(I'm obviously having trouble thinking through it without these odd emotions coming up.)

Outcome: Temperance
(This is a relief for me. It's opposed the two of Pents, so I'm thinking that I'll be able to see him for the man he has become and respecting him for that without succumbing to the attraction. Alchemical.)

 

[Absynthe]

I've had my closest friend for almost two decades. I basically grew up in her house, her parents were practically my own. She has a younger brother too. I love them all so much.

But....you didn't grow up in her house, you grew up in your own. They aren't your family, they are close friends.

But something weird is happening with me that I don't want to talk to her about- I have these strange feelings of attraction rising up for her brother. I have been fighting with myself, "He's little Brad! The kid that sat on the couch playing video games refusing to shower. No!" These feelings are coming up out of nowhere. I used to joke about marrying him when he was older, and I find myself overcompensating and going back to these old jokes, I'm trying to keep him as that kid in my mind to try to get rid of the bizarre feelings of attraction.

They are not bizarre feelings they are actually natural and normal. You aren't genetically related to him so it's quite normal to feel feelings of attraction for an attractive guy that you have happened to have known for a very long time. You already have a close emotional bond. There's nothing bizarre about this. I felt the strong need to comment on your preamble because actually you are having a bizarre reaction to what is a very normal situation. If this guy was your neighbour for 20yrs and you weren't best friends with his sister you would not have this kind of conflict going on.

Present situation: 2 of Pents
(I feel that this is obvious. I'm going over and over in my mind what could come of this.)

You're getting stuck here because you are not addressing the elephant in the room. Brad has grown into an attractive guy. The fact you knew him as a baby doesn't change that.

My world: Six of Pents
(Having a bit of trouble here. Could be referring to the fact that I'm older than him and feel as though I must keep the balance that was established when we were kids, as in, we aren't equals.)

I'd agree with this assessment. But I'd also add that your need to do this is stemming from the conflict within yourself and not any real need to keep things this way. Whenever the six of pents turns up it's a sure sign that change must happen. You will not be able to keep the status quo. I know, I've tried and it's a fruitless exercise. You are trying to resist the inevitable. The way to go here is to just realise that what you are feeling is normal, don't resist it. It doesn't mean you will end up in a relationship with him. Plenty of people have attractions to others and never act on them. The more you try to resist these feelings the stronger they will grow, if you acknowledge them then they lose their power.

His World: High Priestess
(He does remain in his own world and doesn't really share anything with anyone. He likes keeping to himself.)

I often see this card when a guy is hiding his feelings of attraction for a female too. The High Priestess is in a way a show. She creates mystery by not being forthcoming until a price is paid. The elephant in the room just got bigger.

Obstacles: King of Swords
(I'm obviously having trouble thinking through it without these odd emotions coming up.)

The King Of Swords is about seeing things impartially, recognising the reality of something and then taking appropriate action. I think this card is indicating that just telling yourself how wrong it is to feel this isn't an effective strategy for dealing with it.

Outcome: Temperance
(This is a relief for me. It's opposed the two of Pents, so I'm thinking that I'll be able to see him for the man he has become and respecting him for that without succumbing to the attraction. Alchemical.)

For my money, Temperance often points to two conflicting points of view within the person. The conflict grows until they acknowledge it and deal with it in a healthy way. My take on this card is that this elephant in the room will continue to apply pressure to you until something breaks. You can go that route but it would be far easier to just recognise the reality of things and then take effective action that you choose. If you allow this pressure to build then what tends to happen is you act out in ways that you regret and create a life lesson for yourself.

 

[Intotouch]

I've seen Temperance come up for a kind of relationship between two people. A passionate relationship between people who are opposites in terms of values and expectations but who somehow do blend well together and create their own carefully balanced harmony and sexual chemistry.

I don't see why being attracted to your friend's brother should be something that you think is bad in any way. He is not your brother and he is not a child any more. So what if you knew him when he was little! He is a man now, and if he's a good man, why not embrace these feelings? The idea of "the girl next door" as a classic person someone falls in love with is exactly this kind of relationship and works well for many people. I have a colleague who knew her now partner of twenty years since they were both children. They met when he was ten and she twelve and they are very happy together now. I think they got together when they were around thirty but she has known him for almost her entire life. Temperance could be the blending of two elements that do not obviously mix and in your mind, as you see this combination of the two of you as unsuitable perhaps this could be the two of you.

The two of pentacles, being a two, like the high priestess, suggests the two of you are emotionally entangled as a couple, maybe not physically yet.

The king of swords as a blockage I'm not sure of. Perhaps this could be your thinking self judging your feelings as was suggested.

 

[SweetSiren]

I've seen Temperance come up for a kind of relationship between two people. A passionate relationship between people who are opposites in terms of values and expectations but who somehow do blend well together and create their own carefully balanced harmony and sexual chemistry.

I don't see why being attracted to your friend's brother should be something that you think is bad in any way. He is not your brother and he is not a child any more. So what if you knew him when he was little! He is a man now, and if he's a good man, why not embrace these feelings? The idea of "the girl next door" as a classic person someone falls in love with is exactly this kind of relationship and works well for many people. I have a colleague who knew her now partner of twenty years since they were both children. They met when he was ten and she twelve and they are very happy together now. I think they got together when they were around thirty but she has known him for almost her entire life. Temperance could be the blending of two elements that do not obviously mix and in your mind, as you see this combination of the two of you as unsuitable perhaps this could be the two of you.

The two of pentacles, being a two, like the high priestess, suggests the two of you are emotionally entangled as a couple, maybe not physically yet.

The king of swords as a blockage I'm not sure of. Perhaps this could be your thinking self judging your feelings as was suggested.

Your non-tarot advice was pretty helpful. I love this community! The feelings are bizarre for me because I always put him in that box- little brother. So now that there are aspects of my being reacting to him outside of that box, it's throwing me for a loop. And if I were to meet him now, I'm not sure that I'd see him as my type. The fact that we've known each other for so long is working for and against this, if you understand what I mean.


That's very interesting what you've written about the two of Pentacles and the high priestess. My personal situation aside, I think that's a great way to connect the cards. And considering my personal situation these cards are drawing upon, it makes sense. There have been plenty of moments I've blocked out over the years, like holding hands as we fell asleep. And I'm basically another member of the family, doing things with him that normal couples would do only without the romantic attachment.

You've been very helpful and I really appreciate you commenting!

 

[SweetSiren]

But....you didn't grow up in her house, you grew up in your own. They aren't your family, they are close friends.



They are not bizarre feelings they are actually natural and normal. You aren't genetically related to him so it's quite normal to feel feelings of attraction for an attractive guy that you have happened to have known for a very long time. You already have a close emotional bond. There's nothing bizarre about this. I felt the strong need to comment on your preamble because actually you are having a bizarre reaction to what is a very normal situation. If this guy was your neighbour for 20yrs and you weren't best friends with his sister you would not have this kind of conflict going on.

Thanks for your insight. This is the sort of thing I'd talk to my friend about, but the situation being as it is, I'm very hesitant. So thanks for standing in her place momentarily

You're getting stuck here because you are not addressing the elephant in the room. Brad has grown into an attractive guy. The fact you knew him as a baby doesn't change that.



I'd agree with this assessment. But I'd also add that your need to do this is stemming from the conflict within yourself and not any real need to keep things this way. Whenever the six of pents turns up it's a sure sign that change must happen. You will not be able to keep the status quo. I know, I've tried and it's a fruitless exercise. You are trying to resist the inevitable. The way to go here is to just realise that what you are feeling is normal, don't resist it. It doesn't mean you will end up in a relationship with him. Plenty of people have attractions to others and never act on them. The more you try to resist these feelings the stronger they will grow, if you acknowledge them then they lose their power.



I often see this card when a guy is hiding his feelings of attraction for a female too. The High Priestess is in a way a show. She creates mystery by not being forthcoming until a price is paid. The elephant in the room just got bigger.



The King Of Swords is about seeing things impartially, recognising the reality of something and then taking appropriate action. I think this card is indicating that just telling yourself how wrong it is to feel this isn't an effective strategy for dealing with it.

I like what you say about the King, here. He isn't without heart, he just views emotions objectively and with his intellect. That doesn't mean cutting feelings out, but trying to understand them. And noting your high priestess comment, you might be right. There have always been weird little moments that raised the question, "Hey, what's going on here?"

For my money, Temperance often points to two conflicting points of view within the person. The conflict grows until they acknowledge it and deal with it in a healthy way. My take on this card is that this elephant in the room will continue to apply pressure to you until something breaks. You can go that route but it would be far easier to just recognise the reality of things and then take effective action that you choose. If you allow this pressure to build then what tends to happen is you act out in ways that you regret and create a life lesson for yourself.

Temperance is a card I have trouble with at times, so perhaps you are right. I hope not, though! And maybe the lesson will reach me before that does happen. Thank you.

 

[The HP]

By your attempt to stay in balance, you have basically given yourself away. He knows you are attracted to him, but says nothing. Temperance tells me it's reciprocated. The King of however will keep those boundaries in place for now.