wind
I feel like I want to share my favorite relationship spread that I use for all kinds of relationships. It has worked for me very well and maybe you will find it useful too.
I call it the Mirror spread
layout:
12……..13
10………11
6…………9
5…………8
4…………7
……1,2…..
…….3…….
14…….15
…..16……
1-the present circumstances
This card tells you what is happening NOW.
2-immediate challenge
This is the obstacle or issue that the relationship is facing or what the relationships needs or lacks.
For instance, if you get 4 of pentacles for the first position and Page of cups for the second, you can see that this is a solid relationship, but very much materially based and that they need some sensitivity, some feelings, to revive the charm and flirt.
3.The base card: root of the relationship
What the relationship is based on, deep past; here you see on what grounds the relationship works; for instance if you see 5 of swords, you see that there are ego issues, that the partners don't meet eye to eye, that they do not cooperate and both of them just want to fulfill their own agendas; if there is Temperance for instance, you can see that there was mutual cooperation and good blending even though that maybe now the situation is difficult. This position is like a root - is the root healthy or not? Does relationship has a fruitful and supportive connection or maybe it is based on extortion or negativity? Maybe people are bound together in a co-dependent relationship (Devil would indicate something like that).
4,5,6-the querent, 4:mind,5:feelings,6: body( how he/she acts on the outside)
7,8,9-the other, his mind, feelings, body
Mind - what the person THINKS about the relationship and the other person. For instance, if you get Justice, you can see that the person is very seriously considering what to do, maybe even thinking about the divorce.
Feelings - this reveals if there are any feelings left regardless of the Mind card. The mind can be telling you one thing, but the heart may feel something totally opposite. So, it is important to see if the Mind and the Feeling card are balanced. For instance, the person has Justice for the Mind, which means that they might be thinking seriously even of divorce or being very cold and objective, but the Feelings reveal Knight of cups, which can indicate that the person still has feeling and even a certain ideal in her (his) heart.
Body: this is the outside reality card, revealing how the person acts in this relationship and towards the other. What they show on the outside. For instance, 10 of swords could mean that they broke it off. 4 of cups could mean that they don't show any interest or that they closed to the partner - even though they might still feel something!
So, it is important to see how these three realms interact, to see whether the person is balanced, truthful with her(him) self (here the discrepancy between Mind and Feeling usually shows that the person might be deceiving her(him)self or denying true feelings or trying to overrationalize things, on the other hand, the person might want to believe that there is still some love left (for instance we see Knight of cups in the Mind position) but in her heart the feelings are long gone (Death card or 8 of cups, etc)); we also see if they show their feelings or do they pull up an act, are they open for suggestions or just pushing forward with their own agenda (Chariot in the Body position for instance), are they agressive with words (Knight of swords, Page of swords), do they say hurtful things (3 of swords for the Body), etc.
10-what the querents wishes for
11-what the other wishes for
This is what the people would LIKE to happen in the relationship. This reveals if they still have some wish to resolve things or are they already walking away.
12-what the querent expects (how (s)he feels things will turn out, is he pessimistic/optimistic, etc)
13-what the other expects (how (s)he feels things will turn out, is he pessimistic/optimistic, etc)
This shows if the person has confidence that things will continue to grow or not, if they will work out, are they optimistic or not...For instance, if you see 10 of wands, the person doesn't expect that the burden will be lifted or for instance 5 of swords, the person still believes that the ego battles will continue.
There can be discrepancy between Wish card and Expectation card. Maybe the person wants to lighten up (3 of cups) but expects that this won't happen (10 of wands).
14-what the querent should do
15-what the other should do
Card of the querent is simply advice for him/her.
Card for the other is what (s)he would also need to change but it is not certain that (s)he will. This card reveals in what way the other contributes to the issues and what (s)he should do about it.
These cards reveal what people should do individually to help solve the issues.
16-outcome
This card shows how things are likely to turn out, if the expectations will be met, if the advice is likely to be followed..how the energies flow in the forseeable future.
This spread is useful if there are problems in a relationship but also for a new relationship, to see what is likely to turn out and if the people have common grunds or not. Here, the base card (position 3) can show how they met and if there is a certain mutual energy present, if there is potential for growth.
Maybe someone would find this useful.
love
wind
I call it the Mirror spread
layout:
12……..13
10………11
6…………9
5…………8
4…………7
……1,2…..
…….3…….
14…….15
…..16……
1-the present circumstances
This card tells you what is happening NOW.
2-immediate challenge
This is the obstacle or issue that the relationship is facing or what the relationships needs or lacks.
For instance, if you get 4 of pentacles for the first position and Page of cups for the second, you can see that this is a solid relationship, but very much materially based and that they need some sensitivity, some feelings, to revive the charm and flirt.
3.The base card: root of the relationship
What the relationship is based on, deep past; here you see on what grounds the relationship works; for instance if you see 5 of swords, you see that there are ego issues, that the partners don't meet eye to eye, that they do not cooperate and both of them just want to fulfill their own agendas; if there is Temperance for instance, you can see that there was mutual cooperation and good blending even though that maybe now the situation is difficult. This position is like a root - is the root healthy or not? Does relationship has a fruitful and supportive connection or maybe it is based on extortion or negativity? Maybe people are bound together in a co-dependent relationship (Devil would indicate something like that).
4,5,6-the querent, 4:mind,5:feelings,6: body( how he/she acts on the outside)
7,8,9-the other, his mind, feelings, body
Mind - what the person THINKS about the relationship and the other person. For instance, if you get Justice, you can see that the person is very seriously considering what to do, maybe even thinking about the divorce.
Feelings - this reveals if there are any feelings left regardless of the Mind card. The mind can be telling you one thing, but the heart may feel something totally opposite. So, it is important to see if the Mind and the Feeling card are balanced. For instance, the person has Justice for the Mind, which means that they might be thinking seriously even of divorce or being very cold and objective, but the Feelings reveal Knight of cups, which can indicate that the person still has feeling and even a certain ideal in her (his) heart.
Body: this is the outside reality card, revealing how the person acts in this relationship and towards the other. What they show on the outside. For instance, 10 of swords could mean that they broke it off. 4 of cups could mean that they don't show any interest or that they closed to the partner - even though they might still feel something!
So, it is important to see how these three realms interact, to see whether the person is balanced, truthful with her(him) self (here the discrepancy between Mind and Feeling usually shows that the person might be deceiving her(him)self or denying true feelings or trying to overrationalize things, on the other hand, the person might want to believe that there is still some love left (for instance we see Knight of cups in the Mind position) but in her heart the feelings are long gone (Death card or 8 of cups, etc)); we also see if they show their feelings or do they pull up an act, are they open for suggestions or just pushing forward with their own agenda (Chariot in the Body position for instance), are they agressive with words (Knight of swords, Page of swords), do they say hurtful things (3 of swords for the Body), etc.
10-what the querents wishes for
11-what the other wishes for
This is what the people would LIKE to happen in the relationship. This reveals if they still have some wish to resolve things or are they already walking away.
12-what the querent expects (how (s)he feels things will turn out, is he pessimistic/optimistic, etc)
13-what the other expects (how (s)he feels things will turn out, is he pessimistic/optimistic, etc)
This shows if the person has confidence that things will continue to grow or not, if they will work out, are they optimistic or not...For instance, if you see 10 of wands, the person doesn't expect that the burden will be lifted or for instance 5 of swords, the person still believes that the ego battles will continue.
There can be discrepancy between Wish card and Expectation card. Maybe the person wants to lighten up (3 of cups) but expects that this won't happen (10 of wands).
14-what the querent should do
15-what the other should do
Card of the querent is simply advice for him/her.
Card for the other is what (s)he would also need to change but it is not certain that (s)he will. This card reveals in what way the other contributes to the issues and what (s)he should do about it.
These cards reveal what people should do individually to help solve the issues.
16-outcome
This card shows how things are likely to turn out, if the expectations will be met, if the advice is likely to be followed..how the energies flow in the forseeable future.
This spread is useful if there are problems in a relationship but also for a new relationship, to see what is likely to turn out and if the people have common grunds or not. Here, the base card (position 3) can show how they met and if there is a certain mutual energy present, if there is potential for growth.
Maybe someone would find this useful.
love
wind