Tristera
Well hello everyone~ it's been a while since I've posted (or even visited, oops!)... when I first signed up I was just beginning the wild ride that was getting married! My hubby and I tied the knot on the 20th (he a Cancer, I a Virgo) and had a great ceremony/reception! Right afterward, we left for a fun, exploration-filled week in San Francisco, a place I love but haven't been back to; it was hubby's first time. Needless to say, it was a whirlwind of 7 days!
But when I returned home and tried to sleep, I was suddenly seized by this... panic that I thought was the living epitome of the RWS Nine of Swords card: having watched our wedding videos, seen relatives' snapshots and the like, I felt suddenly emotionally overwhelmed and sat up, crying my eyes out because I felt some ancient aching in my heart that if my husband ever shoved off this mortal coil before I did... then a billion bad, terrible thoughts (along the lines of being widowed) flew into my head like steel-winged harpies... I felt helpless and so sobbed. I was embarrassed but told the awoken husband my wild thoughts; if I lied and said I was having a bad dream or whatever, well is that really honest to myself and to him? I thought not.
Anyway, sorry for the long backstory but I'm wondering if any helpful souls out there could guide me as to whether a past life reading is in order. I think of the happiness my wedding (and choice in mate!) has brought me but there is a pulling of a delicate heartstring whose reverberation causes me a sadness I cannot name.
I will out and say it: I am not religious in any persuasion, though like to study everything I can get my hands on. For some reason though, the idea of [re]meeting my current love in lives past casts a ripple in some deep, still pool in my unconsciousness. I am happy, but sad at the same time? Even when we were dating we felt this way. We share it with no one else. What is this feeling? Would the cards not be a safe venue to answer my questions? Should I ask someone else? Forego cartomancy altogether?
From the scrambled brain of Tristera.
But when I returned home and tried to sleep, I was suddenly seized by this... panic that I thought was the living epitome of the RWS Nine of Swords card: having watched our wedding videos, seen relatives' snapshots and the like, I felt suddenly emotionally overwhelmed and sat up, crying my eyes out because I felt some ancient aching in my heart that if my husband ever shoved off this mortal coil before I did... then a billion bad, terrible thoughts (along the lines of being widowed) flew into my head like steel-winged harpies... I felt helpless and so sobbed. I was embarrassed but told the awoken husband my wild thoughts; if I lied and said I was having a bad dream or whatever, well is that really honest to myself and to him? I thought not.
Anyway, sorry for the long backstory but I'm wondering if any helpful souls out there could guide me as to whether a past life reading is in order. I think of the happiness my wedding (and choice in mate!) has brought me but there is a pulling of a delicate heartstring whose reverberation causes me a sadness I cannot name.
I will out and say it: I am not religious in any persuasion, though like to study everything I can get my hands on. For some reason though, the idea of [re]meeting my current love in lives past casts a ripple in some deep, still pool in my unconsciousness. I am happy, but sad at the same time? Even when we were dating we felt this way. We share it with no one else. What is this feeling? Would the cards not be a safe venue to answer my questions? Should I ask someone else? Forego cartomancy altogether?
From the scrambled brain of Tristera.
