Page 1 of 2 (My spiritual reading)
First let me give you the full events surrounding the tarot reading, I think you would have to know the full story to see if there is a chance I was conned out of my soul, its a very long story and very strange one, like something out of a fairytale, could hardly believe it myself as it was happening to me but time has changed me into a true believer in forces above our own. and my own personal experiences have convinced there are spirits and so for the to be spirits we all must have a soul.
It was 20 yeas ago when I was at university so must I have been around 18 to 21 years old at the time of this experience, I used to be scared of the dark and going to sleep, I used to think I saw ghosts in my bedroom during my sleep, so basically I would lay in bed every night scared to sleep because that's when my room who begin to fill up with random spirit's who's only purpose it seemed to me was to scare the shit out of me like some cruel joke.
This had been going on for years since at least my early teens and stayed with me all those years, of course I never told anybody because who would believe me, they would think I was crazy, I did not want that so I just kept it all to myself and learned lived with it.
Even if now if I ever talk about his with anyone which I rarely do, but whenever I share these past expediences with anyone I say “I used to suffer from sleep paralysis”, not “I used to see ghosts” so its easier to talk about, besides the effects only effected me while I was sleeping so I just leaned to accept it as sleep paralysis to myself and refused to let it effect my life outside of the fear I had of the dark and sleeping which I suffered but had no choice really but to face my fear every night.
But then one night I was out in town and I got talking to this women, was on the pull she was older than me, she must have been in her mid 30's and she was fit, while I was no older than 21, she did not seem strange at first was out to pull and she did I could not wait for her to take me back to her bed, on the way back was when she first passed comment that she was into witchcraft, and could do tarot card reading and wanted to know if I would let her read my cards when we got back, I was obviously like yea sure, thinking this was some kind of girls foreplay not ever really believing she be able to really read tarot cards, but would go with it for the laugh, till that day I never really took any interest in the cards, figured it was just like the star sign readings would be generic just tell me some vague story about the card I randomly picked from the deck, but whatever was willing to give them a go.
When we got back to her place, it was more obvious that she took this witch study more seriously than I gave her credit for, she was not even anything like a Goth, just a very sexy lady in her mid 30's but there was like I study room in here flat, not a posh place a flat in Bulwell, 2 bedrooms flat where she lived alone, 2nd bedroomed was however a very unique place full on dedicated to all kinds witchcraft study and practice, was kind of cool in fact full of crystals and candles pentagons and various artefacts. She had quite a collection unlike anything I had seen before or since, this was obviously a hobby she had put time and effort into collecting, still did not think it all for real, just figured it was a nice collection, but could see what she was telling be about her study of witchcraft was something she was more serious about and took more seriously than I previously had given her credit for.
She even had a Ouija board that caught my eye as she was showing me round this room and her collection of strange but wonderful objects, but when I went to look at the Ouijia Board she covered it up and told me to leave that alone and not to touch it, she even passed comment about its magic is to powerful for someone like me to mess with, I just though she was been silly before things really got strange, was not even thinking about my own haunted dreams, by this point in my life I used to pass it off to myself as just Sleep Paralysis or Bad Reoccurring dreams that I used to suffer from. Did not change the fact it used to scare me when I was alone at night but hardly used to give it a second though during the day.
Watching these spirits standing around my bedroom, come sit on my bed with me or just generally torment my sleep at night was just a custom to me now I was so used to it, used to give me the occasional unexpected unusual extra fright sometimes, like if any of them would come right up and shove there face in my face, was always good way to make me scream and kick out, but most nights they would just ether sit there on the edge of my bed or stand around as if they where just ignoring me like I trying to ignore them, in fact on some occasions I would question if they where even aware of me in a crazy sense of been confused as to, ether this is just all only in my imagination, or am I still sleeping and my dream just happens to be my own bedroom filling up with ghosts like a recurring nightmare, weighted against the possibility I had never really been able to completely discard of this been for real and I'm been cruelly relentlessly haunted almost every night when all I want to do is sleep.
So the fact that this random women pulling me in in Rock city night club, telling me she was into witchcraft, wanting to read my tarot cards, then having a very interesting collection of witchcraft artefacts, never clicked me to think of my own dreams till what she started saying to me next, when she started to genitally suggest or give me reason to suspect that she knew about my dream / supernatural experiences, something that I had never told anyone about ever before in my life, so her bringing these thoughts forward it stated to unsettle my nerves a little.
She pushed easy at first, after she had finished showing me around her room and sharing her interests with me, and hinted something about, “that's enough about me, I want you to tell me about your gift” only then did the thought jump into my head about me seeing ghosts in my room every night, but to this fact I was even myself a sceptic thinking it was more likely I was suffering from Paralysis, even if still had always been at least a little open to maybe this is real and I really do actuality see real ghosts, no matter how unlikely I found the possibility and found Paralysis a more likely explanation and maybe more a self comforting possibility that I could just accept and live with.
So having never told anyone before I was not about to give this deep secret of mine up to this random women I had pulled that night gone back to her place with no matter how much she enjoyed her collection of witchcraft related items hobby.
But she pushed deeper wanted to look at my palms, and started saying things like “you do have a secret you want to tell me, you have never told anyone about this before have you, you don't even believe it yourself”. She was kind of starting to freak me out a little but still could not believe she could possibility know about my dreams or what I was thinking right then since my own dream issues where playing over my mind by this point.
But still I did not take her for real she was just talking shit still in my mind and just teasing with me without even knowing that she had struck a nerve within me, so still did not want her to know what she was saying was striking a nerve and was making me paranoid,
Just stuck everything she was saying so far off even as my own drunken and drug up paranoia, yea not going to hide the full facts that I was out drinking heavy that night and doing at least some Ecstasy, this was the 90's after all and I spend the entire decade nearly in out in clubs and rave clubs loving it all the way, so there is another reason for me and anyone else to doubt the possibility I was seeing real ghosts and not having some kind of drug related reaction to how I was living back then.
But regardless of whatever messed up paranoia was going though my head at this point, and how much of it may have been related to the drugs, still wanted to enjoy this women's company and get down with her that night, and was still up for letting her do the card reading.
I don't even recall the order the next set of events happened, or even if some events where before or after the reading, all I know is everything in my head got really messed up, to the point where by the end of the night I am convinced her witch craft worked, all things surrounding me in the room where for real.
The card reading was more than a reading, least beyond anything I expected, and at some point everything clicked into place, about the dreams which where not even dreams, but i saw evidence enough against my own years of doubt, that I was been haunted for all those years.
Some point that night from going in been sceptic was turned to a true believer even though nothing made any sense, and all I have is a bunch of fractured memories of and events that happened that night, so best I can do to explain what happened is list the memories and what details I remember.
As for what happened when in what order and how much was real or drug related tripping out paranoia your guess is as good as mine, all I recall is some very detailed specific events that I believe happened that night, and the lasting consequences which I still question to ether be the blessing of a cure, the loss of a true gift, or what I now even believe, now everything the cards read to me that day has been fulfilled, the possibility I was conned out of my very soul that night.
Event 1 (A freaky random moment that night)
One event that really freaked me out, is when she said “They come to you for help you know, but you can't help them because you can only see them but you can't hear them” and that was chilling because it had never even occurred to me before that I could not hear them, but she was right, and I began to recall some specific experiences that proved her right.
On many occasions over the years the “Spirits” had literately tried shouting in my face but I had not realised this till that moment, instead when they did this used to just freak me out like they where just tormenting me shoving there face in my face and pulling scary faces, used to make me scream out in fact with fright, would have me rushing out of bed to turn on my lights, close my eyes and hide under my covers, even pray to a god, that I did not even believe in, for them to just leave me alone and go away no matter what they where, dreams, spirits, disfigurements of my imagination, whatever the hell was going on in those occasions I just wanted it to stop, even when believing them to be dreams, more like nightmares, I just wanted the dreams to stop and questioned after years of torment I often worried how long would I have to suffer from Sleep Paralysis / Visions whatever was causing this unnatural situation.
But as soon as she said that for the first time it clicked, they where not trying to scare me they where trying to make me hear them, but this never having ever before even occurred to me, I was freaked out by this notion, this was all the proof I needed to convince me these where not dreams but real, and on top freaked out how this women could possibly know this.
She even knew and saw how bad I was freak out when she said that, and I guess this was why she was trying to push me to tell her about these experiences carefully without diving straight into what she somehow knew about me.
She even tried to calm me down saying its all right, and that I had nothing to fear and that she understood and could help me out even to deal with this, she that started to collect some items like crystals and candles arranging them on the floor somehow and telling me to come and sit with her on the floor inside the pattern she and made with the crystals and candles, explaining to me that nothing whatever happens could harm me as long as I stayed inside the circle we where safe, promising nothing could harm us at all as long as I Stayed inside the circle. I even recall her saying I would not even have to tell her about it if I did not want to and that the cards knew would know what to do try try clam me down, am not sure if this was before, during or after the card reading but I recall joining her in that circle as petrified as when I first started getting the visions when I was just a kid, not sure how old I was when the visions started exactly, am certain I was having them by the time I was 14, buy the time I was 18 to 21 seemed like it was forever as far back as I could remember, although I don't really recall any specific events from a younger age that that.
Event 2 (surroundings went all weird)
As freaked out as I was, pissed up, drugged up that very night to take this next recollection seriously, I recall the entire room changing, everything in there started to look different, like the room was now more like a temple where all her artefacts remained, it also seemed like nothing in there was placed randomly, was more like everything had been arranged within the entire room to serve some purpose and was giving off energy its really hard to explain, but recall the vision and scene of protection and comfort this was providing.
I recall a very warm feeling, more than likely could have just been body heat form the drugs working, but was warm in there whatever maybe warm enough to take your top off get undressed, not sure if I was dressed or undressed at this point, but we I did at some point both end up undressed sleep with each other and the next day I was waking up in bed besides her, was a one night stand but hey, we where after all getting off inside the club and as little as it may add to the supernatural side of the night we where still hot for each other a lot of touchy feeling going on foreplay wise even though all this, am fairly certain I was down to by boxes and she was down to her underwear by the time the cards where out.
