Fear...

[Siochanai]

First and foremost I would like to thank Milfoil over and over for her help in opening my eyes more with the dream or I should say more of a vision I had recently in the divination forum. It gave me that much needed push in the right direction. With this however comes a consequence and that is fear.

For the first time in a long time I have fear. Fear of asking the wrong questions and fear of asking the questions that matter. Much more fear in that I am treading into a place I am not meant to be or understand.

Why am I creating this thread; I have no idea. Maybe I need help conquering this dread and I don't know how to ask.

 

[Mi-Shell]

Dear Siochanai!
My heart goes out to you!
Relax!
You can not do wrong.
All questions anyone has, are valid.
If you are here, you are meant to BE here!
People, who laugh or groan at the questions of others show, that they themselves have a lot of growing and maturing to do, with lessons of patience and compassion foremost on their lists....
A question not asked is a learning opportunity missed.
Ask!
Try! Experiment!

be a student, a beginner, a person on the path.
The fear you feel is one of change. Our good old ego may not like change and growth....
so this fear is a shield for him.
At times memories of painful experiences hide behind this shield as well.
That is, when we need the patience and compassion for and with ourselves.
Go slow
and steady...
We all have "been there" at one time or another and remember.
You will be fine and many people here are open to lend a compassionate hand.
Blessings!
Mi-Shell

 

[raeanne]

Hi Siochanai,
Fear is not a bad thing. It is your spirit's way of letting you know that you need to pay attention or that you are outside your comfort zone. Personally, I don't think there are such things as the "wrong questions". Why do you feel that you are treading into a place where you aren't meant to be? Life is to be experienced. Are you experimenting with magick or some type of shamanism that is new to you? Everyone who is willing to take that journey has a right to travel that path. Have you met your totem animal or spirit guide yet? You do have them as protectors so it would be a good idea to get to know them better. There are several books on how to contact these helpers. My suggestion would be to improve communication between you and your totem animal and spirit guide before you proceed.

 

[dawntarot]

Hello,

I too have experienced this fear, fear of the unknown and of change. Strive to keep yourself grounded - walking and light, wholesome meals are helpful in this. Take things as slowly as you need to. In time, the feeling will pass. You are stronger than you think.

Blessings and peaceful thoughts,
Dawn

 

[Oddity]

Dear Siochanai,
I haven't read your previous thread, but about fear I have this to say:
1. Fear is okay. There is nothing wrong or shameful about being afraid. Every person gifted with at least a little intelligence and imagination has been afraid sometimes. Especially when facing something outside their normal comfort zone.
2. Don't let it stop you from doing what you know in your heart you want or need.

 

[PAMUYA]

fear is nothing but the anticipation of pain, whether it's physical, mental, spirtual or emotional. Fear is how we respond to the unknown outcome... fear is what keeps us on our toes. Sit still with the restlessness of the energy, don't feed it with your thoughts or story lines.. Just sit with it, and it becomes less of a threat.

 

[Siochanai]

Thanks everyone it is great to hear all of the encouragement.

The fear is fear of the unknown. I find it difficult to be presented with certain types of information in such a vague manner. It is in my nature to try to take the vague away and replace it with detail. Currently it is just creating more questions on top of those questions but no answers. Hence the unknown.

I am not currently practicing Magick. Personally I have not reached that point yet as I am still trying to understand the path I feel I am being drawn too. It is rather difficult as the information is rather sparse and all over the place. When I am ready and I understand I hope my Magick brings me great wisdom and knowledge. Again here there is fear of the unknown.

There are various repeating occurrences I have been experiencing as I have been exploring myself internally. The issue is they are all twisted and mangled with no clear direction. What I mean is one thing will keep coming up but there is always a vague hint of an alternative direction. Sorry for no specifics but I am still trying to find out more about it myself first.

Ultimately it boils down everywhere to fear of the unknown. Maybe it is amplified by the fact that I am a Gemini with the Rising sign of Cancer. Essentially creating a constant battle between analytics and emotion. <- AKA Train Wreck.

 

[Milfoil]

I hear what you are saying Siochanai and the fear is very real isn't it? This chaos of thoughts and emotions is something that many of us go through when trying to work things out and put them each into neat little boxes. However, it doesn't often work that the boxes will fit so easily.

Do you meditate? This essential, daily practice which allows or gives permission for that controlling (everything must be rationalised) side to take a rest. You can also sit with a question in meditation and see what comes up, what memories, feelings, fears and joys, ideas etc. Lots of different types of meditation . . . .

Fear is often the barrier or doorway to deeper awareness, an initiation in a sense, that one can only enter by passing through and facing. Be assured that you WILL make mistakes, ask naive questions, stumble and generally struggle. If it were that easy, everyone would be Grand, High Pooh-Bar, Masters by now!

One thing, however, that springs to mind is the difference between internal fear of failure/doing something wrong and a gut instinct that a path/action/decision is wrong. Can you discern the difference?

 

[Anna]

I saw a carton once; a circle was drawn on the page and inside the circle was written "your comfort zone" far outside the circle was a cross, with the words "where the magic happens".... I love this because it rings so true of my own experience, that true growth (spiritual, mental, emotional) happens when you are outside of your comfort zone. And being outside of your comfort zone means dealing with and facing fears.

It is scary to walk out alone into dark night of the unknown, but who knows what you may find there? Certainly it will stuff that you would never of found if you didn't leave the comfort of your warm, well lit house. From my own experience, I discovered that being out alone in the dark night was far more my "home" than the well lit house ever was.

Fear tells you that you are out of your comfort zone. It tells you that you are on the right path. It's uncomfortable, and a challenge, but a good thing.

 

[Siochanai]

I hear what you are saying Siochanai and the fear is very real isn't it? This chaos of thoughts and emotions is something that many of us go through when trying to work things out and put them each into neat little boxes. However, it doesn't often work that the boxes will fit so easily.

Do you meditate? This essential, daily practice which allows or gives permission for that controlling (everything must be rationalised) side to take a rest. You can also sit with a question in meditation and see what comes up, what memories, feelings, fears and joys, ideas etc. Lots of different types of meditation . . . .

Fear is often the barrier or doorway to deeper awareness, an initiation in a sense, that one can only enter by passing through and facing. Be assured that you WILL make mistakes, ask naive questions, stumble and generally struggle. If it were that easy, everyone would be Grand, High Pooh-Bar, Masters by now!

One thing, however, that springs to mind is the difference between internal fear of failure/doing something wrong and a gut instinct that a path/action/decision is wrong. Can you discern the difference?

I do not meditate I find it very difficult. The gears in my brain move at insane speeds maybe with time and practice it will be possible.

Yes I can also discern between fear of failure and fear of heading the wrong direction. I know deep down that this is the right direction my gut tells me so and that just adds to the fear. To have such a gut reaction with know logical explanation for why is scary in and of itself.

Don't take me as a sceptic I may be a rational person but far from sceptic. It is the drive for understanding that make me who I am. So naturally something I don't understand is scary.

But I for sure do know I am heading in the right direction. Only time will tell if I am worthy of it.