Mental Disorders & the Spiritual Community (kind of ranty)

[vee]

One of the things I really like about the "alternative" spirituality scene is how openminded people are. You want to mix Buddhism with the Norse pantheon? Go for it! Your guardian angel came to you in the body of a frog and told you to move to France? Awesome! I love the emphasis on personal meaning and acceptance.

But then I say something like "I'm on medication for ADHD" and the negative reactions start coming in. "If you meditated more/took "x" supplement/tried harder, you'd be fine." "I don't believe in ADD." "Taking those drugs clouds your mind from seeing reality/the mystical." etc.

Why is that as soon as I share that, people seem to shut down or look down on me? (Note: not talking about anyone here). If I had cancer, most people wouldn't tell me not to take drugs or go to doctors. I don't see it as much different. (Although I will say that I do agree there is somewhat of a difference...I can't really think of any "benefits" to cancer, but I have grown to love and appreciate the quick and creative side of me, something that I can't separate ADD from!) There's something different with my brain, and without medication I have a lot of difficulty. Adderall isn't the only way I deal with distractability, I also meditate, exercise, watch my diet, write, pray, do Tarot, make schedules, enlist the help of my support system etc. It's just one component in my plan for happiness, but a neccesary one. Before Adderall, I was so out of control that I could have never even done things like meditate or exercise regularly. I was lucky that I even stayed alive. Now I am a happy, much more balanced and much more spiritual person.

I was reading a book by Lama Surya Das yesterday where he talked about Buddhism and mental health and it made me cheer. He quoted somone as saying "Before you can be no one, you have to be someone."..ie, part of the path of spiritual growth is healing yourself and Lama Surya Das mentioned that therapy is an ideal place to work on these things, because without it, people can project their issues onto their practice and turn spirituality into an addiction/attachment instead of approaching it with mindfulness. The reason it made me cheer was because it seemed like such a rare attitude! I really wish that the alt/spiritual community (and of course I am making generalizations here, there are individuals of all different stripes and beliefs in every crowd) didn't foster such a false dichotomy between psychiatry and spirituality. Every time someone tells me one of those responses earlier I feel like it's a slap in the face. I've read many spiritual books that I've been enjoying and getting into when all the sudden they sneeringly refer to Ritalin or distractability and it makes me feel very sad and very small. I guess I just started this thread to see if anyone else has had similar experiences and what you've done in those situations. I typically try to explain myself and often I think I get through, but I resent always having to be on the "defensive."

 

[sapienza]

vee, it sounds like you are in a good place on your journey and that is really the most important thing. The alternative/spiritual community is really no different to any other. Wherever you go you'll find people who are judgemental and opinionated and just plain rude. I think it just catches us off guard amongst these types of people because we assume they are somehow more sensitive than the general population. And unfortunately mental health issues are still a woefully misunderstood by society in general.

Personally, I don't care how 'spiritual' someone thinks they are, if they make assumptions about you they are not as enlightened as they might imagine. I'd be inclined not to defend yourself at all but rather get to a place where you can think 'take it or leave it because I'm ok with me'. And to be honest it sounds to me like you are pretty much there.

 

[Grizabella]

You also don't need to allow anyone to know what difficulties you may be having or what medications or other treatments you might be using to address it. Your life is your life and you have every right to your privacy. I don't mean you need to feel ashamed and hide it. I just mean that you don't have to be an open book for everyone else to see and offer their opinions on.

 

[Milfoil]

Part of the problem Vee is that everyone is on some sort of path and we are all healing ourselves in one way or another. It is wonderful in some ways, as you say, to have the freedom of spiritual practice and searching which allows us to seek in every belief system but the problem with that is that there is no solid foundation in anything and some of the New Age thinking gets mixed up so it all has to be:

a) natural (ie no additives, drugs (ha! most are tripping on shrooms etc but they don't count because they are natural . . . oh, don't get me started)
b) everything is about love and light, fluffy ideas about everyone being able to heal themselves by just thinking about the light flowing down through their crown chakra . . . .
c) Anything goes but only in my world (so if someone else says that they follow a Hindu guru but also that they honour Pacha Mama on their altar, then somehow they must be missing something.

The problem with mixing and matching to suit and following every new age book on spiritual development is that there is no steady, guiding light. No firm roots, grounded in experience and wisdom. Just lots of people enjoying being a spiritual seeker on weekend workshops here and there. For anything to grow past a seedling it has to have firm roots in solid ground, that is often not possible in much new age philosophy.

Few people know much about mental and psychological problems, it still has a stigma which is difficult to set aside. I wonder if instead of these other spiritual people being in a position to tell you anything, it should be the other way around and YOU are the one who could be teaching them and opening doors in their perception? I can't tell anyone what it is like to have ADD because I have never experienced it personally. You could start by teaching me what it feels like with and without the medication, how it affects your life, your spiritual practice, friends, family etc?

How does that sound?

 

[Inghinn]

Ah yes, this is a sticky subject for me too. Thanks for speaking up about it Vee.

I have suffered from depression half my life, and I mean really suffered - not just had the odd dark day that's now often classed as depression. I stayed in bed for weeks on end with a constant feeling of sadness, dread and anxiety, I couldn't eat, much less take care of myself, and if I managed to drink a few glasses of water, it was a good day. My doctor had suggested and prescribed medication and therapy, my mother was begging me to at least try the pills and yet somehow I was convinced that if I took any medication I would somehow admit defeat. I was hoping for that moment where my spirit would overcome the depression and I'd get better naturally. Well surprise surprise, that didn't happen. Eventually I realised that I couldn't carry on like this, I took the meds and got better. It wasn't easy and it didn't happen overnight, but the medication sorted out the physical side of things. I think there is this tendency to underestimate the chemical processes that are part of mental illness, ie stress hormones etc. Taking medication gave me the breathing space that I needed to clear my thoughts and deal with my depression and eventually I did get to the point where I was well enough to stop taking pills. But having gone through all this, I would never allow myself to get this bad again and take the meds again if I felt I need them.

I think that many people in the spiritual community dwell on the past and view mental illness as a modern affliction that would not affect us so much if we still lived with the 'old ways', not just spiritually but also generally, more in tune with the seasons, eating natural foods etc. Most spiritual people I know, myself included, are wary of modern medicine and I think it's fine to be critical and seek for alternatives. Spirituality is largely in the mind so I think especially when it comes to mental illness many people feel that modern medicine in the form of medication is almost an invasion, something that threatens our right and ability to let the mind wander when everything else in life is already reglemented. It's about loss of control in the only bit of our lives where we are still truly free, our own mind (or so we think anyway!). Many people in the spiritual community have broken free from having their minds controlled by religious dogma and I think the anti-meds attitude largely stems from the fear of being influenced yet again. Also there is that doubt when taking meds - is any spiritual insight my own or is it down to medication?

A friend of mine recently described modern medicine as 'black magic'. As with anything though, I think it's important to find that point of balance where we can be comfortable and I'm happy to include modern medicine into my range of options to reach that point. It's funny how many spiritual people talk about holistic medicine yet somehow make a very clear distinction between body (fine to take medicine against say, cancer) and mind (not fine to take medication to help with mental illness).

Vee it does really sound as if you're in a good place and have allowed a type of healing into your life that works for you and that's all that matters. Don't let others judge you for that.

Sorry that was a bit of a ramble.

 

[Yora]

Part of the problem Vee is that everyone is on some sort of path and we are all healing ourselves in one way or another. It is wonderful in some ways, as you say, to have the freedom of spiritual practice and searching which allows us to seek in every belief system but the problem with that is that there is no solid foundation in anything and some of the New Age thinking gets mixed up so it all has to be:

a) natural (ie no additives, drugs (ha! most are tripping on shrooms etc but they don't count because they are natural . . . oh, don't get me started)
b) everything is about love and light, fluffy ideas about everyone being able to heal themselves by just thinking about the light flowing down through their crown chakra . . . .
c) Anything goes but only in my world (so if someone else says that they follow a Hindu guru but also that they honour Pacha Mama on their altar, then somehow they must be missing something.

The problem with mixing and matching to suit and following every new age book on spiritual development is that there is no steady, guiding light. No firm roots, grounded in experience and wisdom. Just lots of people enjoying being a spiritual seeker on weekend workshops here and there. For anything to grow past a seedling it has to have firm roots in solid ground, that is often not possible in much new age philosophy.

Few people know much about mental and psychological problems, it still has a stigma which is difficult to set aside. I wonder if instead of these other spiritual people being in a position to tell you anything, it should be the other way around and YOU are the one who could be teaching them and opening doors in their perception? I can't tell anyone what it is like to have ADD because I have never experienced it personally. You could start by teaching me what it feels like with and without the medication, how it affects your life, your spiritual practice, friends, family etc?

How does that sound?

Agreed. It comes from not knowing the ins&outs. Not knowing gives place for fear&humongous screaming teddybears!! ^^;; and such. The slaps you got where shlaps of ignorance. (not that i don't posses ignorance ;P) Some switcharoo's (i'm making it sound easy huhuhu) on how you feel and think about it may help you to become immune to the point that no energy will be wasted on being shlapped because you have better things to do!

*sigh* this is a very wise supportivve loving forum to me were we learn, expierence together and are free to grow. (Will now stop the compliments because i hear growls&the clinging of buckets being pulled up heehee. ;p)

 

[vee]

Thanks for your responses. <3 I think a lot of what y'all touched on are things that I have been trying to do but haven't specifically articulated to myself: making peace with my decisions, choosing when and where to reveal information, and most importantly (and most difficult!) not taking people's reactions personally! I would like to be able to educate and dialogue with people on the relationship between mental health, medicine, and spirituality, but I'm not there yet because I'm still too reactive. OH YOU THINK IM NOT SPIRITUALLY IN TUNE, WELL YOUR FACE LOOKSL IKE A BUTT. I'll get there eventually.

 

[greatdane]

sorry Vee but first

I had to laugh at your comment about someone's face looking like a butt! I love your attitude about all of this and how you maintain your sense of humor.

Unfortunately, once we share something, anything, then people (not all, but many) seem to feel they have a "right" to comment because we shared it.

Breaking up with someone? Share that with anyone and watch the comments flow.

Changing jobs? Cities? Get ready for pros and cons from people who don't have a CLUE.

Many people don't feel someone is JUST sharing and isn't needing, wanting or expecting their own personal take on it.

So the next time someone whose face looks like a butt, feels free to "share" their opinion, whether asked for or not, I hope the above helps.

 

[Milfoil]

. . .but I'm not there yet because I'm still too reactive. OH YOU THINK IM NOT SPIRITUALLY IN TUNE, WELL YOUR FACE LOOKSL IKE A BUTT. I'll get there eventually.

You and me both vee. Today has been one of those days when I really could have said something like that! Don't pull yourself down too much, we all get like this occasionally and without the ADD tag.

 

[Tiddles]

I've got 'the' ADD too. I've never had any negative reaction from revealing that I'm on meds for it, but I'm not really friends with anyone who is particularly spiritual ( I live in NYC!). Usually when I tell someone they just want some of my meds.