nexyjo
as i pass through various stages of my transition, i've been feeling the need of late to do some type of rite of passage. i discussed it with the high priestess of my coven and she agreed that if i was feeling compelled to do one, it was most probibly called for. i asked her if she felt it would be more appropriate to do it as a solitary or with the coven, and she suggested that since the changes i am going through are as much social as they are any other aspect, a ritual with the coven would seem appropriate, assuming i felt comfortable with it. i do.
of course, there are no readily available rites of passage that i can find in the pagan community resources, or even anything close, that begins to address the passing of someone who was once seen as male, to living as a female. the closest i was able to find, in concept at least, would be a coming of age ritual, where a young woman is passing into womanhood. of course, those rituals speak of fertility, and monthly cycles, and conception, and other such reproductive physical aspects of womanhood. i will never experience any of that. so again, that left me with pretty much nothing as far as a template is concerned. we are on our own in coming up with something, which actually, we both saw as a challenge.
we spoke for a while on the issues, and decided a few things. i'll have to write something - i ended up writng a poem to say during the ritual. and of course the hp will say a few words as well. she suggested that perhaps we should incorporate a butterfly motif into the ritual, as that is my totem animal. we thought that the women in the coven would wrap me up in tissue paper, like a cocoon, and i'd break out of it at the appropriate time. i thought that was a wonderful idea.
it's still a work in progress, but we have much of it ironed out. this whole process got me to thinking, and i'm wondering if anyone here can provide any insight. can anyone define, without reference to the physical, what a woman is, or for that matter, what a man is? certainly, i think most would agree that men and women differ in many areas, and they go way beyond physical differences, though for every feminine "attribute" i can think of, i can also think of men who exhibit that attribute. for example, i could say that women, as a general observation, exhibit more nurturing behaviors than men, but i do know a few men who exhibit this personality trait as well. the same goes for emotional expression (female) as opposed to logical expression (male). either gender can exhibit both, or the opposite, though as a general rule, women are more emotionally expressive, and men are more logically expressive. i've decided that perhaps it's a combination of attributes and tendencies, and probibly there is quite a bit of overlap between the genders. yet i still believe there are some defining differences between men and women, though i can't seem to put my finger on it. clearly, i know how uncomfortable i felt trying to live as a man in our society, and how much more comfortable i feel living as a woman. clearly, men and women are treated differently, by both other men and other women. so perhaps that also helps define, outside the realm of the physical, what a woman or man is, and why i feel more comfortable living as a woman compared to living as a man.
i know it's not something many of us think about. but while trying to describe "where i was", and "where i was going", words failed me - i found it quite difficult to put into words, without speaking to the physical nature of the genders, especially as it relates to reproduction. yet i also know women who through either defects of birth, or unfortunate sickness, cannot reproduce, and are not subject to monthly cycles, just like me. yet certainly, they are women, as much a woman as any other.
anyway, sorry for the long winded post. i guess i should have just asked, can anyone define for me, without referring to the physical aspects, what exactly is a woman?
luv and light,
nexy
of course, there are no readily available rites of passage that i can find in the pagan community resources, or even anything close, that begins to address the passing of someone who was once seen as male, to living as a female. the closest i was able to find, in concept at least, would be a coming of age ritual, where a young woman is passing into womanhood. of course, those rituals speak of fertility, and monthly cycles, and conception, and other such reproductive physical aspects of womanhood. i will never experience any of that. so again, that left me with pretty much nothing as far as a template is concerned. we are on our own in coming up with something, which actually, we both saw as a challenge.
we spoke for a while on the issues, and decided a few things. i'll have to write something - i ended up writng a poem to say during the ritual. and of course the hp will say a few words as well. she suggested that perhaps we should incorporate a butterfly motif into the ritual, as that is my totem animal. we thought that the women in the coven would wrap me up in tissue paper, like a cocoon, and i'd break out of it at the appropriate time. i thought that was a wonderful idea.
it's still a work in progress, but we have much of it ironed out. this whole process got me to thinking, and i'm wondering if anyone here can provide any insight. can anyone define, without reference to the physical, what a woman is, or for that matter, what a man is? certainly, i think most would agree that men and women differ in many areas, and they go way beyond physical differences, though for every feminine "attribute" i can think of, i can also think of men who exhibit that attribute. for example, i could say that women, as a general observation, exhibit more nurturing behaviors than men, but i do know a few men who exhibit this personality trait as well. the same goes for emotional expression (female) as opposed to logical expression (male). either gender can exhibit both, or the opposite, though as a general rule, women are more emotionally expressive, and men are more logically expressive. i've decided that perhaps it's a combination of attributes and tendencies, and probibly there is quite a bit of overlap between the genders. yet i still believe there are some defining differences between men and women, though i can't seem to put my finger on it. clearly, i know how uncomfortable i felt trying to live as a man in our society, and how much more comfortable i feel living as a woman. clearly, men and women are treated differently, by both other men and other women. so perhaps that also helps define, outside the realm of the physical, what a woman or man is, and why i feel more comfortable living as a woman compared to living as a man.
i know it's not something many of us think about. but while trying to describe "where i was", and "where i was going", words failed me - i found it quite difficult to put into words, without speaking to the physical nature of the genders, especially as it relates to reproduction. yet i also know women who through either defects of birth, or unfortunate sickness, cannot reproduce, and are not subject to monthly cycles, just like me. yet certainly, they are women, as much a woman as any other.
anyway, sorry for the long winded post. i guess i should have just asked, can anyone define for me, without referring to the physical aspects, what exactly is a woman?
luv and light,
nexy
) you have spiritual beauty, as well as physical beauty.